Tuesday night is “Pub Night” with a collection of my theater-connected friends. Last night, the usual suspects were collected around a plank table in a sort of new place. Known for a fine beer collection and all-day breakfasts.
Studley: Did you see that gal? Amazing!
daisyfae: What? Huh?
Recreational Blasphemy (RB): The one that just grabbed a beer? Wearing shorts?
Studley: Yeah! Prosthetic leg, and rockin’ the ‘short shorts’! How cool is that?
daisyfae: Wow – sorry i missed that…
Studley: Just like her style, and that she puts it right out there! One nice, slim thigh, and the mechanical leg that gets her walking.
daisyfae: You know, this could be the start of a new wave of extreme weight loss measures… Wanna lose about 40 pounds in a hurry? Chop the legs, and replace them with lean, mean titanium prosthetics!
RB: I have the name for those, when they go commercial: “Slimbs”
Trailer Park Refugee 
Love it. And so many of our super models/actresses start by having their brains removed and replaced with marshmallow. Sooo much lighter than brain.
*snort* never mind the ‘cigarettes and heroin’ diet that keeps the rest of them trim and slim!
Marshmallow? That’s where our state governor screwed up! I think she used a walnut.
or a rock?
Hooray for that brave girl!
with the on-going war, i’ve seen far too many healthy young bodies that have suffered the loss of limbs. breaks my heart while simultaneously filling it with admiration…
Go that girl! Sometimes the stuff some people do makes it easy to be proud of humanity. As for “Slimbs”, that could catch on.
wish i could have seen her, but she grabbed a beer from the case and headed elsewhere! and yes… cheer the good stuff!
Yep! Give that girl a gold star. Shades of Aimee Mullins? And I hope RB registers that name!;-)
RB is a twisted genius! waiting for him to comment… c’mon, RB…
Sorry, I was in recovery. I’ll be sporting my new slimbs tonight.
’bout time you showed up. i’ll have to see those slimbs next week… i hope you remain the same damn fine sexy man you were before all that cosmetic amputation!
there’s a girl who works at our local bookshop who has the grooviest prosthetic arm I’ve ever seen. I’m almost envious
given the option, i’m sure she’d rather have her arm back… but it sure beats a plain stump.
There is an entire subset of the fetish lifestyle devoted to “bod mod” – and mostly the body modifications were not by choice. Sounds like a fun way to spend a Tuesday night.
very aware of it… not particularly my thing, but my son has made it clear that in the realm of ‘box checking’, he’s got ‘amputee sex’ fairly high on the list. the power of the interwebs….
Actually, I think the whole missing-limb thing might be an actual fetish.
Theater people and beer go together like ham on rye. Don’t forget the Tony’s are this Sunday. Do you care? Most people don’t.
yep. very much so. OF COURSE i’ll be watching Sunday! Book of Mormon is up for 14, and Good People has a couple, i think! i see two broadway shows – at your behest – and they are both top of the charts!
Not sure about the weight-loss ramifications, but if I had a cyborg leg, I’d want one with a retractable pistol-holster like Robo-cop. There’s nothing like having an automatic pistol come popping out of your thigh.
i kinda like the machine gun leg from “planet terror”, but i’d settle for a pistol!
My best male friend has a collection of prosthetic arms for various activities.
Mostly though, we just called him “Hook”. 🙂
That girl probably WAS “rockin’ the short shorts”! WHOO HOOO!
‘Slimbs’ ….. bwahahahahahahaha
‘various activities’? oooooookey doooookey! better than prosthetic animal limbs, i suppose.
I wrote a song for Ian Drury once called the ‘Immaculate Contraption’ based on prosthetic bits and bobs. He never used it …
can’t imagine why he pass up such a delicious opportunity!
“SLIMBS” = awesome name
it took him less than a minute to come up with it…
God loves a ballsy woman. Good for her.
and three cheers for the ballsy men as well!
I have a male friend who lost one of his legs below the knee in the Vietnam war. He has a prosthetic one and gets around quite well. There have been times, though, when not wearing it works even better for him. He used to be pestered by Jehovah’s Witnesses until the time they came knocking on the sliding glass door to his porch and he went to the door nekkid without his leg on. He was never bothered by them again.
i suppose there are quite a few practical jokes that could be deployed – shoestore surprise comes to mind, and i’ve not even tried! messing with the JW’s, though, is primo stuff!
omg i laaaaaaaaaaughed that was excellent and rock it bb’who needs a leg when it’s past your ears
fabulous point! i suppose that’s where all the fetish stuff came from, as the geometric possibilities are phenomenal!
Oh my gosh, is it okay that I’m laughing about this? Ha..ha..ha.. I feel like such a shitty person now!
it’s a trailer park. seriously, i laugh at far worse things, so you’re in good company here!
I used to work in an emergency room. A frequent flyer, **enter name here**, was a hooker with one wooden leg and one titanium leg.
…it was the best of times, it was the worst of times…
welcome to the park, yerttle! and oh, my – what a way to kick off your first visit! THAT’S filed in the “real life is stranger than fiction” file!
🙂 ER stories make for great drinking stories. …and since I grew up in a trailer park (from MO to Las Vegas. Las Vegas trailer parks are something else!), I hope to fit right in. 🙂
yay! a fellow refugee – although my park is virtual!
Well seems like you’d have to put it out there like that. I mean, look at all the attention she’s getting just here on your blog? Now i wish I knew her so I could tell her how cool she is for doing so! Also, Slimbs was a great name Daisyfae.
Good point – might as well be who you are. my old favorite motto was “fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke”. Slimbs was the brainchild of my friend, RB. Who also came up with the most twisted and darkly comic halloween costume ever… but that’s a story for another day!
“fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke”. Damn, I wish I could be more like you Daisyfae! I’m working on that.
it’s a liberating feeling – but important to learn ‘when’. if i carry my ‘i don’t give a shit’ state of mind too far? it gets too hard to get out of bed some mornings…
Exactly how many beers had been sunk before this little exchange occurred?
perhaps a pint or three…
What an interesting post and series of comments. The one that really caught my attention was your point that with the war and all we have far too many young people missing limbs. The invention of “super glue” (during the Vietnam war) as a method to control bleeding when a person was badly injured is largely the reason. Before that, if you had that bad an injury, you died. The people surviving induced the development of better prosthetics, and the electronics and plastics industries have continued this to the point that frequently, the only way you can tell a person is an amputee is if their prosthetic limb is visible.
Now all we have to do is stop staring while still acknowledging that overcoming such a grievous injury is an act of true heroism. Then, perhaps we might also start lobbying our government to stop all this ridiculous nonsense of pursuing un-declared wars for oil and other resources while pretending they are moral. Then maybe we wouldn’t have so many wounded heroes to sing.
Amputation as a weight loss method? I think they already do that. It is called bariatric surgery.
Of course, you could always lose 15 extra un-needed pounds by amputating your head.
the improvements in combat casualty care are amazing. one hour. that’s how long it is before they get to the hospital. they aren’t dying the way they used to, but damn, they’re surviving some really awful shit. and i concur – let’s stop the fighting. it’s overdue in this case…. but sadly, there will be others.
i’ll hang onto my head. it’s my most important sexual organ!
Slims…
Why I oughta…
🙂 Nice post.
Pearl
hi Pearl – and yes, it’s silly-awful, isn’t it?
Now that it’s warmer, I’ve seen several students with prosthetic legs rocking shorts of various lengths. No choice down here, really. I have assumed that the wars were the primary culprit.
airports, college campuses… we (as in ‘our nation’, not ‘you and me’) have done a lot for the prosthetic industry over the past decade…
All I can think of is … Bite into a Slimb Jim.
that could be the television persona of the guy doing the Infomercials, perhaps?
My goodness daisyfae,
Now I understand why they call June 4, D- day. Does that mean drunk on my ass day? I’ve seen the Geezer plastered a few times. Not pretty! Never seen him do some of your tricks though. He just mumbles stuff about all-day suckers and stuff like that.
Sandy
http://www.sandysays1.wordpress.com
Our Tuesday night outings are more about the company than the drink…. it’s on the weekends that we start assigning ‘designated drivers’ and all that whatnot…