Warning: 12 year-old boys at work

It started here.   And as is always the case, plumbed the depths of molten-core stupidity within a few minutes.  i love these crazy bastards…
 
cramnitram:  Bad news.  How long can you survive on beer alone?  Long enough to get scurvy!

daisyfae:  Drinking only Blue Moon, with substantial slices of orange, could certainly delay scurvy.  More experimentation.  We need science, damn it!
 
ninjaneer:  But then Blue Moon ups the prevalence of the trots and subsequent dehydration……question is, does this constitute a reasonable trade-off?
 
RN:  Not to mention if your drinking Blue Moon then you have a high probability of being gay, giving you a statistically higher chance of dying from AIDS. Beer alone is ‘iffy’, but Busch and Ring Dings probably has all you need. 
 
ninjaneer:  I would have to concur with this assessment.  I, myself, stick with Bourbons and the occasional Tennessee Sour Mash.  Beer drinkers have always struck me as slightly effeminate, and frankly, unable to carry on serious barroom discourse through their constant preening, primping and giggling. 
 
daisyfae:  RN, your use of the words “busch” and “ring dings”, amidst your obvious homophobia, are a bit much.  Tone it down, please.  I’m trying to work here…
 
ninjaneer: A sure sign of Living in Lifestyle Denial if I ever saw it.  Classic Textbook……
 
RJak:  I have to agree with RN.  Blue Moon is the VW Jetta of beers.  It is socially acceptable for women but for guys it leads one to ask “Is he …?”  And if a guy drinks a Blue Moon with orange slices – question answered. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
 
RN: It gets even worse, did you know Ring Dings are a product rip off of Ding Dongs?  
 
ninjaneer:  ….and how does this all relate to Dong Rings
 
cramnitram:  Dong rings are just a bigger version, except in your case, ninjaneer.
 
RN:  It relates via the mysterious yogis in the Kentucky mountains who live on nothing but bourbon, the movie was “Lord of the Dongs”
 
TC: ….as the ninjaneer always used to say……’Dong Rings before Ding Dongs….never sicker…..Ding Dongs before Dong Rings…..’  uh….I can’t remember the rest. 
 
RN:  Ding Dongs were made by Hostess I think and Ring Dings was something I can’t remember.  Same crappy cylindrical black cake with crème in the middle
 
ninjaneer:  I’m not a big fan of Dong Rings…..but when she insists – think radiator hose clamp…..
 
RN:  …and “Ding Dongs” changed name to “King Dons” for a while, then back to “Ding Dongs”.  I know all that, and you say I am not a MAN?

daisyfae:  “Ring Dings” (by Drakes) were the original chocolate sponge-cake hockey puck, and they sued Hostess for infringement when “Ding Dongs” were introduced.  The “King Dons” name was a negotiated solution.  Hostess, however, bought Drakes in 1998, returning the name to “Ding Dongs”.  I have finally proven that the internet is good for something other than porn.

ninjaneer:  I’d like a minute for rebuttal…..
 
daisyfae:  yeah, but you’ll have to explain to the guys in bio-environmental health what all that stuff is on your monitor.
 
TC:  you mean that dribble on the floor?
 
RN:  “Don King’s Dong Ring”
 
ninjaneer:  ten times, really fast!

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42 thoughts on “Warning: 12 year-old boys at work

  1. Beer in Oz is definitely a man’s drink. It defines (or defies – whatever) ones masculinity! Unless it is drunk with a slice of lemon. As I do with my poncy wheat bear. Fresh lemon juice staves off scurvy. Having said that, I have just discovered two new beers. Mango Beer and Ginger Beer (not the kiddy version – this is 5% alcoholic). Both were brewed in tropical Western Australia and are quite quaffable!

  2. For some reason, this whole conversation reminded me of Johnny Carson’s shtick about old movie titles: “Benson Fong, Anna Mae Wong and King Kong in “Mr. Moto Gets a Hickey.”

    I love Ding Dongs, by the way. Yum….

    • Oh, i’d forgotten that one – and yes, the same silly patter… i always loved Ding Dongs. That foil wrapper was perfect for balling up after lunch at school, and throwing at someone at the end of the table, too!

    • absolutely. entire thread was hoarked up over the course of about an hour. i was also doing other things – not very well, probably – as we did the fart around… hey. it was Friday afternoon. no one works then anyway, right?

    • i can’t believe we missed Ho Hos… In that thread, there is a PhD Chemist, PhD in Optics, and the remaining four of us all have MS degrees in Engineering. i can’t believe your colleagues are that dry… oh, wait. Academia. never mind.

  3. I am still puzzling over Blue Moon. I was unaware that there was a beer that had any gay association. I thought that was solely the bailiwick of wine coolers.

    I think it is possible that you know too much about the history of Hostess products.

    • It doesn’t. Just the “Beer with Fruit” association. We were being absolute dorks. And yes, i happen to have a deep and abiding lust for Hostess products. Just about everything EXCEPT Twinkies can make me drool uncontrollably…. and they are pure and unabashed GARBAGE. Oy.

  4. Chortle chortle! My poisons are good red wine in winter, dry white in summer and occasional splashes of benedictine. The mention of dong rings brought a bright smile to my face. One must admit to partiality in this regard!

  5. As long as King Kong’s Dong Ring is not involved, I think we’re all safe. Although I’ve got a spare tire that doesn’t fit my car if he needs one.

  6. Wow, I’ve never thought of the correlation. I’ve never had Blue Moon, but I thought their commercial was interesting. Usually I drink Killian’s Red or Full Sail, but that’s only because my wife prefers those labels. On my own I usually buy Corona and stick a lime in it. I also like Pyramid wheaten ale with lemon in it. Lately, though, I’ve been drinking Bud Light with Clamato. Love that spicy flavor.

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