A series of messages exchanged with a friend today, helping pass the hours as we both slogged through work stuff. We kinda sorta almost briefly dated, but it quickly became clear that
he likes small, attractive and normal women and i prefer men who are a little bitter, very twisted and somewhat broken we were both looking for different things.
We remained friends, and spent more than a few happy hours commiserating about our troubles with persons harbouring opposing genitalia.
Our conversations included a lot of questions, ball-busting and throwing of the bullshit flag as necessary. These kind of friends are invaluable. Having an honest broker, representing a completely different point of view, who questions “Why?” can do wonders for your thought processes if you are drilling down to the center of your beliefs.
Well, up until the point you want to slap him…
An attractive, intense and relatively conservative man, he spent a portion of his career in the cockpit of military jets as a weapons system officer. Fairly messy divorce, with the ex-wife moving his kids to the east coast. He left town a couple of years ago to get a job on out there, closer to his three teenaged children.
HotStuff: Hey, daisyfae! How goes it?
daisyfae: Life is good! How are things out east?
HotStuff: Pretty good! Building a house, closer to where the kids are. Haven’t missed the associated yard work for the past four years, so it will be an adjustment. How’s your collection of boy toys coming along? Do you have a complete set?
daisyfae: Entertaining, to say the least. Two new ones since we last talked. One? About 60 miles east, and the other lives about 60 miles south!
HotStuff: You don’t like those boys too close, do you? Same town does have advantages, though.
daisyfae: i get cranky when they get too close. They get all up in my bidness and want to actually get to know me… That’s when it stops being fun – for everyone involved. Geography is my friend! You still seeing that gal who works back here?
HotStuff: Yes. And we’re reaching a decision point soon. The distance is making it tough.
daisyfae: Committment is hard, but apparently can be worth the effort. So i’ve been told. i hope it works out for you!
HotStuff: Too bad I can’t wargame this…
daisyfae: You can flow chart it. Analysis of Alternatives. Eventually, you can at least identify the options you can’t live with, and perhaps a few paths that get you closer to where you want to be. But that relationship crap is smelly – people are the worst kind of unknowns.
HotStuff: You aren’t serious, are you? Flow charting won’t work with relationships. It just gives you an excuse to get out. It is only as good as your assumptions, so really all you end up doing is picking your answer and rationalizing it with science.
daisyfae: i usually just work through a range of “best case”, “worst case” and “probable case” scenarios. Until i get bored, or realize “Nah, i really don’t want to do that…” and quit. You’re right, though. It just provides pretense of logic.
HotStuff: Wargaming. That’s far more rigorous! Now, I just need to look up the parameters for a standard woman…