Surreal vs Absurd

 “This is so fucking surreal!”  Words uttered by my daughter very early this morning…

Somewhere around 2:00 am, i pulled my car onto the shoulder of an interstate highway, just in front of a police car with the lights flashing.  Checking for traffic, i walked back towards the flashing lights.  First my daughter appeared through the blinding lights, followed by the silhouette of the officer.

daisyfae:  You’re ok!

The Girl [noticing my outfit under the black leather trench coat]:  Jesus, Mom!  Where were you?

daisyfae:  Fundraiser… A costume party!  Raising money to renovate the canoe club.

Officer Snarky:  We have a “canoe club”?  Seriously?

daisyfae:  Christ!  i took off the feather boa and General’s hat! 

In the meantime, Studly McRocklegs has inspected the damage on the car. 

Studly:  Do you want to see this?

Walking over, i notice fur everywhere.  As if it had snowed deer fur.

daisyfae:  Damn!  This could have been a lot worse.  Where’s Bambi?

The Girl points to a large tan lump on the edge of the grassy median strip.

daisyfae:  Sucks to be him…

We unload her gear into my car, Officer Snarky returns to his vehicle, saying he’s just going to fill out paperwork, update his facebook status, call a few friends, while we wait for the tow truck. 

The Girl:  This happens every time i’m about to leave the country*!  It’s a jinx!

daisyfae:  You’ve never been at fault in any of these accidents.  Nothing you can do to avoid a suicidal deer, either. 

After the tow truck arrives, and starts to haul the car onto the flatbed, we head back to my car. 

Studly [to The Girl]:  Do you want to ride up front, or in the back seat with the Djembe drum and hula hoop?

The Girl: I’m a vegetarian!  I don’t kill things!

We got home, and somewhere toward sleep around 4:00am.  She had to be at work at 6:00am.  i drove. 

Just another Saturday night.  And what is the difference between surrealism and absurdism?  Does it matter?

* For three trips overseas, she’s ended up involved in some sort of car accident within a week of her departure.  In this case?  i was really looking forward to having access to a non-shitmobile while she studies in London for a month.  My guess is that the car will be in the body shop for most of that time…

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47 thoughts on “Surreal vs Absurd

  1. “snowed deer fur” …. BWAHAHAHAHAHA
    The mental image is just too damn funny!
    Seriously …. I’m glad she’s ok.
    Maybe she should consider NOT traveling overseas.
    Just a a thought.
    “snowed deer fur” …. BWAHAHAHAHAHA
    The mental image is just too damn funny!

    LOVE the outfit! Sexy mama …..

    • it was pretty sad, though. fur stuck to the wheel well…. all over the side of the road. she said that when they collided, the fur literally flew… this is why they need to be hunted – other than honda’s, they have no natural enemies left.

  2. That happens around here all the time. There are more deer in this county than people.

    Coulda been worse…My husband’s grandmother hit a deer once and it went through the windshield and was flailing around in the front seat with her.

    • i’ve seen a lot worse regarding ‘deer – auto interactions’. very glad it didn’t roll through the windshield. those are the ones where people end up dead, too.

  3. maybe she should not make plans to leave..just walk up to you one day and say she’s leaving..head to the airport and get on the first plane out. Would possibly cost her less(no car repairs)
    What’s with your group there..either you bring about severe weather or she’s off killing things right before she leaves. Ya’ll are travel cursed…

    • this one required a little additional planning. and we remembered that one of her four international excursions went off without an accident, so perhaps this is not a solid streak after all!

    • it wasn’t the best costume at the april fool’s ball… not by a long shot. but i’ve learned to dress for dancing, so heavy, messy costumes just don’t happen in my world!

  4. There’s something very David Lynch-y about this post.

    I’m glad she’s okay. And I’m sure your costume gave the officer something to tweet about.

    • it was very David Lynch-y. we were sort of waiting for a midget clown to appear by the roadside and say something random, like “Basset hounds got floppy ears”…

    • Oooh! That looks cool! i’m trying to find a way to get there before she comes home, but given the unexpected auto repair, my budget just got a little spanked…

  5. Glad to hear that lovely daughter of yours is okay, between the damn deer and the coyotes i don’t know which is worse, though the coyotes are don’t damage the car as much and are a bit stupid so you can line em up better…

    Costume party? how come i’m not buying that Ms. Daisy, i’m guessing bondage Party you cheeky vixen.

    • coyotes are easier to throw in the trunk. the only thing that could have made the evening more bizarre would be if i’d have taken it upon myself to strap Bambi to the roof of the shitmobile and get to a deer processing/taxidermy shop to mount as a trophy… he was a big bastard…

      and moi? bondage party? were you the really tall dude in the leather mask and assless chaps?

  6. Love the outfit! Did officer Snarky take a picture of it for his Facebook page?

    The poor Girl! I never thought of how a vegetarian feels when they hit a deer. I wonder which is worse – eating a hamburger or hitting a deer?

    • Officer Snarky had a grand sense of humor, and was a delightful representative of the law enforcement community! i’d have posed for him, had he asked! even let him borrow the feather boa…

      i’d have to say it was worse to hit the deer… the hamburger would already be dead….

    • road critters are one of the few reasons i’d like to keep at least one large car in the arsenal – the jeep has a ‘thumper bumper’ on the front. i call it the ‘Miata Filter, but in fact, a deer/moose/bear would do very little damage to my jeep…

  7. Glad the girl is okay. Cars can be fixed. Kids, even vegetarian ones, not as easy.

    A few years back, on the drive home from town, an oncoming car hit a moose just seconds before we were abreast. The front end went under the moose’s torso, leaving the windshield to smash and the roof to buckle. The driver was a bit shocked. The moose? Not fazed at all; got up and continued on its way. I imagine its ribs were sore for awhile, though.

    Gotta watch out for the wildlife, especially after dark.

    • i really can’t get myself too worked up over this – because she wasn’t hurt. i’ll run the car insurance/car repair gauntlet, the car will be in the shop a few weeks, and the deer will remain dead. i have no complaints.

      moose? a FAR scarier proposition… that’s a lot of meat. driving out west/north in the dark would scare the crap out of me…

  8. Eeeh, rural life! The largest animal you’re likely to collide with here is a drunken student.

    Did the policeman really say he was going to check Facebook whilst waiting for the towing truck? Just strikes me as an odd thing for a policeman to say.

    • drunken students can get attorneys. fortunately the deer has no lawyers in the family, and we are unlikely to face a ‘wrongful death’ lawsuit…

      Officer Snarky was simply delightful! We had been kidding around for the entire conversation, and he had already proven himself to be a suitible officer of the peace by dragging the deer out of the lane of traffic to prevent further incidents. with his bare hands. he can joke with me all he wants after that maneuver!

  9. we have alot of suicidal deer up here too, darn things.
    glad she wasn’t hurt, still hell of a thing to have happen

    • it’ll sure mess up a saturday night! worse was that she had to be at work at 6am, which meant she had about an hour of sleep before a 9 hour shift…

    • night driving can be a bit more challenging. on the one hand, there are fewer drivers. on the other, the percentage of drunks is quadrupled, and there are big, sneaky animals, waiting to bump you around a bit.

  10. I think that if you live around here you are statistically doomed to hit a deer, suicidal or otherwise. I think everyone who goes to rescue a person who is stuck by the side of the road with a snarky police officer should wear a costume. Serioulsy.

    • funny thing was that as i left the party to meet her on the highway, i realized that i needed to shed the feather boa, hat, and all of the LED jewelry i had stuck to various parts of my body, lest the officer arrest me on the suspicion of being drunk and/or crazy!

      i was delighted that he had a good sense of humor. and that my daughter warned him that i was a bit ‘odd’…

    • i’m trying to find my way over there to visit with her, but the travel gods are being unkind… i’m on the hook to be gone 3/4 weeks in may, so if i get over there, i won’t have time to scoot to belfast… but i will get there.

      the girl? she’s in school, and must attend to her studies. if she does show up? send her back and tell her to get to work!

    • “The Lap Dance is Always Better When the Stripper is Crying”. Unless Bambi is dead. That’s a bad lap dance, whether it’s a deer or a stripper…

    • at the hippie dance parties, people bring their drums. big and small, they line one side of the dance floor. and when you get tired of dancing, or when you feel like it, you can dance on over and do some primal beat therapy. sometimes i’d rather drum than dance.

      the beauty of the hippie dance parties? no one makes fun of you. no one is trying to pick you up. it’s sort of like being 10 years old again… except there’s A LOT of weed out on the patio…

  11. I liked your comment above that the scenario was David Lynch-like, I’m also surprised a midget didn’t appear, uttering wierd poetry. I too worry about having to talk to cops when I’m out on a Saturday night, as I’m often wearing something unusual and corset-like. Fantastic story. Flesh out the bits with the cop and send it in to the New Yorker!

    • There might have been a midget. Studly wandered off the side of the road to take a leak – i’ll ask him if he peed on a short person… there’s more to the story, of course. i don’t write fiction…

  12. What sort of costume was this that involved a general’s hat, a feather boa, a trenchcoat, and various LED jewelry? Or was this just a “throw a bunch of random things together and call it a costume” type of deal?

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