Filter? What filter?

Last Sunday afternoon, i had a ‘first date’ with a new gent. We were having a grand time, playing pool and yakking our heads off. Although i don’t pretend to be someone i’m not, i’ve learned that i should meter out the doses of ‘daisyfae’, so as not to completely terrify a man unused to my… um… direct communication style.

In short? i was trying to be nice-ish, and make a reasonably good first impression.

After a few games of pool, we stopped by the bar for a beer. Asking the bartender what he had on draft, he went on to describe their craft brew selections – including several regional beers.  He mentioned an amber bock style, which is one that i like. Both of us selected that particular beer, and as the bartender turned to pull the tap he said “Uh oh! I think we’re out of it!”

Before i knew it – “You are SUCH a bock tease!” came out of my mouth.

Momentary silence. Thirty seconds later, a gal at the bar started cracking up. The bartender turned and grinned at the bad joke. And my date about fell over – laughing. It all ended well, but i swear, i need to see about getting some neuro-linguistic filters installed…

And it sort of makes me wonder just how obnoxious i’m gonna be when i’m really old.

54 thoughts on “Filter? What filter?

    • it’s just that if i hit a guy with all of it at once, they sometimes get this ‘deer in the headlights’ look and disappear… although i do generally need a man who can take it full on, the rapid fire bullshit that i deliver can be intimidating…

    • god forbid that we should ever go out. two people, looking awkwardly at their shoes, as they both quickly make excuses about getting home to feed the cats, and running for the side doors…

  1. Could have been worse. You could have found it to be a bit hot in the bar and removed your sweater revealing your t-shirt that reads “Rock out with your cock out.” Oh wait. That was my lady friend last night.

    I love that t-shirt.

    • oh, yeah! i’m thinking your gal pal could make a lot of friends with that t-shirt. the one that usually gets me in trouble? the t-shirt with the “twister” board on it… “Right hand, GREEN!” is big trouble!

  2. You can not filter genius darling, now i have to find a bar that’s out of that style of beer with a hot female bartender so i can use that line, i have goals.

  3. Don’t ever hide your true self just to please some man, Daisyfae. Our mothers and grandmothers did that and what did it get them—restrictive girdles and a lifetime of kitchen duty. Be your wonderful self always—if the guy can’t handle it, tough patooty.

    • oh, no… i don’t hide myself. it’s just that ‘firehose’ thing. until someone has a better appreciation for ‘why’ i do what i do, the ‘what’ i do can be a little bit much… and yeah. tough patooty if they can’t hang – eventually!

  4. I see nothing wrong with that sort of comment.
    It would have flown from my mouth that’s for sure!
    I agree with Sausage …. if he hadn’t laughed, THEN it would have been time to nicely end the date.
    I gotta have a man who understands and uses humor.
    It’s the only way I get through! lol

    • in an e-mail, another gent mentioned that he “grinds his own beans daily” in regard to his coffee i suppose. when i wrote back “if that’s a euphemism, i’m impressed!” and he either didn’t catch the joke, or didn’t appreciate it? i moved on rather quickly… NEXT!

  5. Oh, and according to several of my friends (and ex’s), my internal “MUTE” button is broke AND I should have one of those 5 second delays installed on my mouth.

    Just sayin ….

  6. Any man that sees you only as a nice rack and doesn’t appreciate your rapier-like wit and associated keen mind needs to move along. You don’t have time to waste on such folk. Remember my mantra – fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke. Or in this case, not.

    • thank you, dear! as always, it’s cool to have you in my fan club (and know that you’ve always had my back). if any of these guys go ‘stalker’? i know who to call….

      and this dude? he can take a joke. so that means i can’t fuck him?

      • wow, I had NO IDEA I had ANY control over who you fuck or don’t. My advice would be to get yourself as much safe sex as possible! I’m envious – horny girls – especially horny girls that look like you – can get it ANY time they want while I am reduced to waiting for the wife to be in the mood. Fortunately for me – her sex drive is almost equal to my own. It helps to have a wife that’s 16 years younger!

      • your wife is a goddess, dear! as for getting it ‘any time i want’? it’s not quite so straight forward. the folks at work might have issues if i re-purposed the conference room, and put up a ‘take a number’ sign outside… 🙂

  7. NEVER FILTER, they best like you the way you are as ya ain’t gonna be changing!
    at 30 i didn’t care, at 40 i became a bit evil, at 50 omg thank heavens pookies met me the way am because i’m down right dangerous with zero tolerance for fucktatude!

    • i am following a very similar timeline… and my filters are becoming more and more ineffective… there are a few folks who sit next to me in meetings so they can catch the steady stream of mutterings that emerge from my face…

  8. I love you and your blog! You are awesome. Don’t ever change or even filter for that matter – except maybe when my kid is around 🙂

    • but it can be a bit scary if it all comes out at once – and especially so if a fella hasn’t yet made a determination as to my particular degree of ‘crazy’. i think they want to rule out ‘stalker crazy’ before getting close…

  9. Good one! I am hearing Billy Joel in my head now, and he’s singing “Just the Way You Are.” If they can’t love the real you, they’re not worth any bock teasing, that’s for sure.

    • nah. i don’t wanna ‘keep’ any of them – this is for entertainment purposes only! got two more that are auditioning for a supporting role as well… if i stay interested for more than a year? then they drop into the ‘sustaining friends’ category. yeah. i’m a mess. not confused. just a mess.

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