Product Placement – WIN!

Prior to the booze and music cruise, i was sorting options for smuggling alcohol on board the ship – rather than pay the ridiculous prices after we set sail.  Much to my complete and total surprise, it was The Boy who suggested this rather spectacular product:

The Wine Rack 

Oh, it is spectacular in concept.  And a bit brilliant in design!  Unfortunately, it didn’t arrive on my doorstep in time for me to take it on the cruise.  So tonight is the Maidenform Voyage of my Wine Rack!  An evening of local theater – which will probably be pretty good.  But i’m practicing for the next bad one i have to endure…

In the box

Before i am loaded

Loading – with a nice bottle of 2008 Layer Cake Shiraz

Gives entirely new meaning to “juicy cleavage”.  There’s 750 ml of red delicious yumminess in them thar boobies!  And i gained TWO FULL CUP SIZES!

i’m going to modify the hose to put an actual nipple on it.  the show must go on…

57 thoughts on “Product Placement – WIN!

    • IT WORKED GREAT! surprisingly comfortable, and effective in delivering the wine. no plastic-y taste. the hose is long enough – and i was able to serve my friend DK who was seated two seats to my left. the gents on my right and left were happy as well. Two thumbs up!

    • made in china, most likely. they also have ‘the beer belly’. i should get that, too, and could pass myself off as a pregnant broad. perhaps for at least a couple more years…

    • it was yummy! and my cups didn’t runneth over! just read on the instructions that if you wish to avoid the ‘deflated’ look at the end of the night, you can simply blow in the tube to pump them back up again!

    • it will be body temp. that’s why i had to go with a red – i wasn’t going to chill a nice white and then have to deal with the side effects of the cold. i think margaritas would be nice – i could just squirt it out into cups full of ice!

      • Oh, the margarita idea sounds perfect. I’ll bet a nice rum drink made with orange/mango/peach juice would also be fantastic. Plus it wouldn’t look so obviously alcoholic to the casual passer by. I always think that when I’m breaking the rules it is best if I don’t call attention to myself too obviously.

        I’m thinking this would be perfect for a winter sporting event too: Spiced wine. . . or cider. . . it wouldn’t matter if they were warm, in fact it would be a good thing.

      • i think you’re onto something with the spiced wine – and that may make the cut for my next skiing adventure! although if i were to fall from a chairlift and end up flat on my face? there could be carnage. serious alcohol carnage…

  1. How funny! All I can think about is the “Will and Grace” episode where Grace’s water-filled bra (worn to impress an old flame at his art exhibition) sprung a leak and sprayed all over several of his pricey watercolor paintings, turning them into something akin to SpinArt. Watch out for sharp objects!

    • that’s a hoot! i was a little worried about leakage and stains, so i wore black. i wouldn’t pack red wine and wear a white top of any sort… it was a lot of fun! but we decided we needed another one – this load only got us to intermission…

    • it was warm. can’t do white wine, that’s for sure… but mixed drinks, and having a cup full of ice on hand? would be perfect. “Octette Bridge Club” – period comedy/drama about 8 sisters. Not my type of show, but it was extremely well done, and the performances were pretty amazing – forgot i was in a community theater about halfway into the second act…

  2. hmmm, that might actually make a work out more tolerable. well done!
    You also gotta love a woman who has a flask next to her Flintstone vitamins.

    • The Girl thought that a brilliant idea. i’m trying to figure out a cooling system. think slushies. perhaps in the summer, i can use this as a means to stay cool on really hot days at the beach!

    • i should have kept a second bottle in my car, and re-loaded at half time intermission. that may be the fatal flaw – it wasn’t big enough to support four of us for very long!

    • they’ve both seen the photos, and were amused. now, i can tell you without any doubt whatsoever that there’s no way in hell he’d ever drink out of that particular camelback… THAT would be beyond creepy. even for my clan…

  3. wowsers….but then again this could cause me all sorts of problems at work….”Are you looking at my boobs?” I was just checking for booze….honest…


  4. Brilliant idea! Next time try some South African red! 🙂 Wish we had it here (the rack not the wine of course!)!

    • Hi Val – Welcome to the trailer park! i might work something out with my friend, Dolce, and see if we can start to export this particular product… seems a winner!

  5. An engineering coup. Would it be too uncomfortable for one side to have the ice, and the other the Scotch? Maybe some kind of apparatus that would cycle the contents from Cup A to Cup B.

    (She said Maidenform.. !)

    • i like this idea – for hot outdoor summer events? margaritas are gonna happen. and i can squirt it out if i squeeze my boobs together. see if i can hit you five rows back?

    • i’m almost too large for the sports bra – finally a big advantage to not have gigantic boobies! and maybe i’ve heard it once or twice before… it’s just meat.

  6. This is an absolutely amazing product. The only downside is that your now phenomenally huge and perky breasts will start to shrink as you near the end of that bottle. Of course, by that time, you might not care anymore.

    Both you and the product have my full attention. This post had me laughing and wondering throughout the day.

    • Thanks, Posky! As part of the instructions, they mention the deflation issue – and you can blow into the tube to ‘re-perkify’ them! it’s pretty brilliant. cleaning/drying it has been a bit of a challenge – having just lost a much loved flask to an inadvertent growth of mold, i’m very careful with the care and maintenance of my alcohol-smuggling gear! i might have to write a book someday…

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