The memorial service for my ex-father-in-law went well yesterday, and apparently poor little A* wasn’t traumatized because it occurred on his 22nd birthday. This, of course, means today is The Boy’s 22nd birthday.
He stayed over at his Dad’s place last night. In general, when the kids are hanging out with their Dad, i pretty much leave them alone. But since it was his birthday, i sent him a text this morning…
daisyfae: Happy Birthday!
The Boy: what’s so happy about it? you woke me up, bitch!
The Boy: just playing. thanks.
daisyfae: Fine. No “Hookers and Blow” Gift Card for you.
The Boy: But Mom, Aunt J got A hookers, blow, AND a moon bounce for HIS birthday!
daisyfae: Probably had a pony too. Or was that for the hookers?
The Boy: Is a pony the same as a donkey? Because if so…
daisyfae: No. Donkeys can’t get you pregnant. Don’t ask how i know that…
The Boy: Ewww…
picture found here
* It causes me minor pain to let you know that A turns out not to be such a bad kid. The Girl reports that he’s becoming a decent human being, despite his entitled upbringing. He acknowledged drinking cheap wine when he did his semester abroad, because he’d rather spend money doing things than buying things… Oh, and he was apparently wearing a t-shirt for one of my favorite bands. i guess i’ll have to transfer my disgust to his older sister… who apparently remains a selfish, pretentious and entitled cow…
Trailer Park Refugee 
the Boy sounds as if he’d get along jes fine with the coconut krewe! happy birthday to him and well done YOU! xoxoxoxox
i am pretty sure you are right, ms. savvy! he’s a funny, funny kid…
Really. What were you thinking waking him up??? And who sleeps with their phone on and so close that it could wake them up if they got a text while sleeping?
Okay, okay, I’m a luddite, I know. But really, you seem to have done a fantastic job raising him.
And it is amazing how well some people turn out despite their horrible childhoods. Sounds like A has really come along. . .
Waaaait a minute. Ponies can get you pregnant?
i sleep next to my phone, and work blackberry. electronic leash issues, and i find myself anxious to be out without one or the other. as for the ponies? i’m not talkin’… (technically, the answer is ‘no’, but…)
I’ll bet he’s looking forward to Christmas: ho ho ho!
they better bring their own meth… i only have enough for the immediate family…
I hate having to transfer my hatred. Soooo inconvenient, and mildly stressful. Make sure A’s sister stays a bitch so we don’t have to deal with this again.
i think we’re safe. she’s pretty spoiled and obnoxious…
how about the pony and the hooker performing IN the moon bounce? now that would be high entertainment.
suspect we could make that video go viral…
What a fine lad you’ve raised Ms. Daisy, i can only hope to do so well with my pair, did i mention your son and i have similar tastes in birthday gifts, somehow i’m sure you’re not surprised by that. Happy B-day son of Daisy, a day late.
and buy similar i meant i love moon bounces.
you couldn’t possibly have fathered this one, could you? i’m pretty sure i was in a reasonably behaved state of being when he was conceived…
Happy birthday to the Boy ….. bless him and all who sail in him ……
thank you?
I’m envisioning a very special Hallmark family movie starring a pony with a heart of gold..
It will star Valerie Bertinelli. And Fabio as the pony…
You sure? Donkey got me pregnant.
Uh oh… maybe i need to reconsider from whence the boy got his DNA….
Sometimes there’s an initial dickish event that you have to look past to see that the person’s really an all right person, which is how I made a majority of my friends and probably half of my readership.
there’s truth in there… the Ninjaneer and i fought horribly for six months, but came out the other side close friends. and he was being rather dickish. and it sure worked in “Taming of the Shrew”…