It was almost three years ago when my former mother-in-law died. i awkwardly asked my ex-husband about possibly stopping by to pay my respects, but primarily due to the psychotic jealousy of his live-in girlfriend, he suggested it would be best if i didn’t. So i didn’t.
Friday night, my ex-father-in-law died. i got a call from The Girl late in the morning, and she was leaving work to go be with her Dad, EJ, who’d just called in a state of serious freak-out. About a month ago, my ex-husband put a boot in the ass of the barking bitch he had been living with for about four years, so he was dealing with a 92-year-old man having a massive stroke all by himself.
The Boy packed up and left work around the same time, and both of the kids made the three-hour trek in time to provide back-up support to their dad. Around the same time they arrived, EJ’s yuppie lawyer sister, J, had arrived. This took some of the pressure off, as it was clear they’d be facing the tough ‘end game’ decision processes soon.
Grandpa died later that evening, after the arrival of EJs other sister, S. Discussions began regarding memorial service and funeral arrangements. With a crew of grandchildren who would be making the trek for the service, logistics were going to be challenging.
Turns out, The Boy was born one day after J delivered her son, A. Furthermore, it turns out that their birthdays are coming up next week. With the travel constraints, Monday was the optimal day to have the services. Apparently, it would not do to have Grandpa’s memorial service on A’s birthday.
J, the yuppie sister and mother of A, began lobbying hard to move the memorial service to Tuesday, as it would be absolutely terrible for A to have to associate he death of his grandfather with his 22nd birthday. Either J had completely forgotten that The Boy’s birthday is Tuesday, or she’s just a selfish cow and didn’t give a shit.
When EJ asked The Boy if he would have a problem with it? He simply said “It’s just another day, and it’s not like I’m twelve years old. You’d think A could ‘man up’, but I guess not…”
In the end, due to the availability of a key grandson-in-law (ie: pall bearer), it will be Monday. And poor little A will have to suck it the fuck up…
…and for what it’s worth, i’m not going this time, either. Even though the barking bitch is gone, it would still add another bit of stress to things for my ex-husband. My kids are there, they have his back, and i’ve got theirs by remote. there really isn’t anything i can do to make anything any better…