Ghost in the Graveyard

My condo is located in a small development adjacent to a cemetery. Not only does this feed The Boy’s notion that the development should be called “God’s Waiting Room” – due to the geriatric nature of many of my neighbors – but i am often witness to funerary rituals that leave me saying ‘what the fuck?’

Last weekend, i got a “new neighbor” on Saturday – seeing the gravediggers do their business on my way out to the market, and later seeing them prepare for a graveside service as i went out for a ride on the motorcycle.

As i was coming home at lunch today, i caught a glimpse of some modifications to the mound of flowers on the newest gravesite. Worth a closer look…

Autumn is in the air, and it seems a pumpkin appeared…

Well, lookit that?  A ghost in the graveyard!

Awww… not just a ghost, but a ghost that’s been impaled through the eye with a pumpkin stem!  A nice fuzzy spider and a rubber bat to complete the tableau!

Oh, but wait, we’re not done until there are rubber cockroaches and a nice black rubber skeleton in place!

Ok.  i know there’s no prescribed method for grieving.  But i couldn’t help but imagine the discussion that started with Mom greeting the kids after school:

Momma:  Hey, kids!  It’s nice outside today!  Do you wanna go decorate Grampa’s grave?

Little Margie:  Wow, Momma!  That’ll be swell!

Billy, Jr.:  Can we decorate for halloween?  Make it spooky?

Little Margie:  We promise that no matter how gruesome this is if you really think about it, we won’t wake up screaming in the middle of the night thinking that Zombie Grampa is coming to get us!

i dunno.  Maybe it didn’t play out that way.  But i sort of like these people.  Especially because they took a sharpie and had everyone sign the pumpkin – including the inscription “We don’t die, we multiply!”

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37 thoughts on “Ghost in the Graveyard

  1. Sure beats those roadside tribute things full of flowers and stuffed animals and other personal affects stacked in front of the telephone pole the deceased had smashed their car into. All that does is tell me that someone died there who had family members with too much time on their hands.

    • i’m still going with cremation. given the twisted creativity my spawn have already demonstrated, i’m not going to let them have too much fun with my dead body… they might take me to a taxidermist instead of a funeral home…

  2. ‘god’s waiting room’ is where my parents go to drink on the weekend, this lame ass club full of people one beer away from croaking it. I hope when the wait is over the have family as fun as yr neighbours to come and decorate their graves, ‘freaky’ style.

  3. I’ve always wanted to live next door to a cemetary yet never wanted to be in one. I always feel sorry for the cemetary dead because they get forgotten. I bet this way, the whole family feels better knowing they won’t be left out of festivities when the inevitable occurs.

    • you could always adopt a grave? i think that ‘forgotten’ part, and the feeling of obligation to maintain the gravesite left for the living, are the main reasons i’m going to be cooked and tossed… like pasta, i guess.

  4. you have nice neighbors. even if they do multiply (none of them ever leave, do they?). do you have your zombie killing equipment handy? you know, just in case and all?

    • i like these particular neighbors. they don’t bitch about where i park my cars. and your zombie warning is timely. need to get me a sawed off… just in case they decide to get up and go walking…

  5. Ya know, I was driving by a cemetery the other day and wondered why they didn’t decorate for Halloween. I would if I owned one. I would also lease out the funeral parlor for Halloween events…yes I know, I’m odd.

    On another note, I knew of a real estate agent that was having trouble selling a house across the street from a cemetery until he wrote “…nestled in a quiet neighborhood…”

    • i think decorating a funeral home for halloween is pretty brilliant! i’m really tempted to get the plastic skeleton parts and take a few of those up the street to the freshly dug graves… that would be really bad. but funny. but bad…

      the neighborhood is very quiet. only freaky thing is that some folks have decorated the graves with solar LED lights. that glow at night. bluish glow, headstones. i don’t go wandering up there with the dog after dark…

  6. O Daise — I have nothing pithy to say other than this is a very, very funny post. If I had half the good posts that you have, well, then you’d have twice as many as me…

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