We called it “The Game”. No idea who started it, but there were about six of us involved, within an organization of about a hundred souls. No time limits. No start or finish. It was a drive-by activity. Sort of like “fight club”, without all the blood and testosterone.
The object was to catch another player in the hallway, or poke your head in his office, and briefly describe a scenario involving some of our gnarliest, nastiest and most evil co-workers. A scenario so disgusting that it leaves the victim traumatized for hours. Graphic, deviant, twisted and bizarre. A visual image that is difficult to shake. Sometimes for days… Flashbacks occur during group meetings. In the cafeteria…
Some favorite examples – of the less graphic variety:
– Nestor Fazooli, sitting on the sofa at home, eating a bag of Cheese Puffs. Wearing torn boxer shorts, black socks and nothing else. With his feet propped up on the coffee table, he’s boppin’ the bishop while watching “Party of Five”. Orange cheese dust is everywhere…
– Dr. Pasty-Boy, wearing nothing but a diaper, a ball gag and a crystal-studded leash, being walked on all fours through the conference exhibit area by Max Program, in full fetish gear.
– The Ninjaneer sitting on the sofa, with Ms. Marsupial lying comfortably draped across his lap. As they watch college football, he is casually arranging cocktail peanuts on the cellulite dimples on the back of her thighs, to spell out “Go Michigan!”
With my departure from the old job, i have only been able to play occasionally via e-mail. Sadly, i have yet to find the deeply dark and twisted people in the new organization. But that doesn’t mean i’ve let myself get rusty…
While Mom was visiting last weekend, my daughter’s boyfriend, ZZ, called me on Saturday evening, to see if it was ok for him to stop by after work.
ZZ: Hey, just calling to see what your plans were. The Girl doesn’t get off work til late, and didn’t want to drop in unexpectedly.
daisyfae: No problem. Mom and i are just hanging out at the house. C’mon over when you’re off work.
ZZ: Great! I just really want to get a shower and…
daisyfae: Mom wants to watch.
daisyfae: [maniacal laughter]