We called it “The Game”. No idea who started it, but there were about six of us involved, within an organization of about a hundred souls. No time limits. No start or finish. It was a drive-by activity. Sort of like “fight club”, without all the blood and testosterone.
The object was to catch another player in the hallway, or poke your head in his office, and briefly describe a scenario involving some of our gnarliest, nastiest and most evil co-workers. A scenario so disgusting that it leaves the victim traumatized for hours. Graphic, deviant, twisted and bizarre. A visual image that is difficult to shake. Sometimes for days… Flashbacks occur during group meetings. In the cafeteria…
Some favorite examples – of the less graphic variety:
– Nestor Fazooli, sitting on the sofa at home, eating a bag of Cheese Puffs. Wearing torn boxer shorts, black socks and nothing else. With his feet propped up on the coffee table, he’s boppin’ the bishop while watching “Party of Five”. Orange cheese dust is everywhere…
– Dr. Pasty-Boy, wearing nothing but a diaper, a ball gag and a crystal-studded leash, being walked on all fours through the conference exhibit area by Max Program, in full fetish gear.
– The Ninjaneer sitting on the sofa, with Ms. Marsupial lying comfortably draped across his lap. As they watch college football, he is casually arranging cocktail peanuts on the cellulite dimples on the back of her thighs, to spell out “Go Michigan!”
With my departure from the old job, i have only been able to play occasionally via e-mail. Sadly, i have yet to find the deeply dark and twisted people in the new organization. But that doesn’t mean i’ve let myself get rusty…
While Mom was visiting last weekend, my daughter’s boyfriend, ZZ, called me on Saturday evening, to see if it was ok for him to stop by after work.
ZZ: Hey, just calling to see what your plans were. The Girl doesn’t get off work til late, and didn’t want to drop in unexpectedly.
daisyfae: No problem. Mom and i are just hanging out at the house. C’mon over when you’re off work.
ZZ: Great! I just really want to get a shower and…
daisyfae: Mom wants to watch.
daisyfae: [maniacal laughter]
Now I am traumatised on several levels! Memories have re-surfaced. Like the one of the packet of salted peanuts and the naked guy on the – – – oops – that was ME! move along please – nothing to see here.
i wasn’t spelling out “Go Michigan” was i? 😉
Party on, Mom!
the kids have never really wondered where i get it…
that says it all, sugar! well done!!! xoxoxox
he was eventually able to speak again, and recovered nicely. but it’s nice to shut ’em up every now and then!
She also wants to help wash yr back, and some other *hard to reach* places…..
AAAAAAAAAARGH! (you’re a player! congratulations!)
First belly laugh in 3 days. Thanks, dear, I needed that!
glad to be of service!
Nothing like a little bit of light perversion to start the working day. A tale I could unfold about two former colleagues of mine, engaged in an enthusiastic affair, who used to spank each other’s bottoms with table tennis bats. They used to get in specially early. Just not early enough one morning.
ouch. imagining it was bad enough. stumbling upon it? very ‘ouch’…
When I was young I never was any good at those games. Now, given time and peace I think I could think up some rather fine images.
I’m sure that ZZ is probably a very watchable guy.
Thanks for the giggle. Gotta go take Ruby for her walk.
Yeah move over momma, I want to watch too
i couldn’t have played as well when i was young…. sadly, i’m now quite twisted and can conjure up all kinds of scary things in my head!
“mom just wants to watch… and possibly shave your ass.”
Bags I get to shave the balls
You are incorrigible, wench!
i don’t think he’ll find that scary. he’s seen the pics from greece!
Human’s are sexual creatures, why is it gross to think of the elderly that way? I’m not passing judgment, just a general ponder.
I am actually quite traumatized by the visuals…
i intend to be sexually active until i can’t. but i won’t likely be leaving the lights on as often…
Whoa! Whoa! Say you didn’t just say that! Mom, cover your eyes! ZZ, cover your . . . bishop!
it keeps them on their toes. a workout is a workout, right?
That’ll sort out her droopy eyelids.
Ha! Good one!
Cheaper than the surgery, i suppose!
That old woman’s not flashing me the metal sign, that’s just arthritis.
a new kind of ‘stiffie’…
More than once I’ve heard these words uttered about my brothers and I…
“them boys ain’t right”
Seems as if your name needs to be added to the list
“that Daisyfae ain’t right”
Love being in good company, even if the company ain’t right.
i’m rarely right. enjoy being just a bit off center. the view is better from here…
“casually arranging cocktail peanuts on the cellulite dimples on the back of her thighs’ ……. I’ve really got to use this line sometime ….. and so much more fun than Solitaire …..
Sounds like something Sam Phoenix would say – – –
DP – try using it with the mother-in-law. the phrase, not the technique….
archie – Sam Phoenix? [swooon]
My family & I play this game.
I think my favorite so far was just before we went to Jamaica and I told all the oldest boys and my brother to close their eyes, picture the crystal clear blue waters, the white sand, ice cold drinks in hand, bikini clad women lounging provocatively and then, Grandpa (my 71 year old father) strolling by in a thong.
They were severely traumatized. 🙂
oh, you got it down, girlfriend! that’s the way it’s done!
Daise — You are so very deliciously wicked. I’m just happy you’re on our side!
thank you! as Lyndon Johnson said (of J. Edgar Hoover): “better to have him inside the tent pissing out, than outside the tent pissing in…”
Man, I wish my co-workers were cool.
it’s a small, but necessary, percentage. i’d have been cutting myself with letter openers years ago if i hadn’t found my peeps early…