Weekend “Scores and Highlights”

Snippets from the weekend…

– Mom has been quite frustrated with her failed eyesight for the past few years.  Due to droopy lids, she’s had difficulty reading.  Botox injections only help for a few weeks.  DQ, my niece, has started uploading eBooks for her from the local library – allowing Mom to listen to audio books, and tune out some of the perpetual white noise at the Trailer Park.  While The Girl and I were surfing the library website, to help Mom find some good titles, Mom waxed philosophical about retirement.  “I had all these books stashed around me, looking forward to retirement where I could read all day long.  Just goes to show you that it doesn’t matter what your plans are for retirement.  Your body is going to give out on you.  I had books coming out of my wazooo…”  At this point, The Girl’s boyfriend, ZZ, interjects with “And what, exactly, is a ‘wazooo’ I’m not familiar with that?”  i had to explain to ZZ that “despite the fact that her children all swear like drunken sailors, Momma doesn’t cuss.”
– Further rants on “life after retirement” focused on how much of her time and energy are spent with various doctors and specialists.  “The doctors ask me ‘Are you active?  Getting out much?”  I say “Sure, I went to see about 50 doctors last month!”
– On Sunday morning, DQ called me.  She simply wanted to know how Mom was doing…  A reminder that for all of the trailer park bullshit?  She really does worry when Mom’s not there…

– Sunday night?  Some downtime with The Girl, ZZ, The Boy and ZZ’s brother JZ, and his girlfriend M.  Over a pitcher of killer margaritas, M was telling a ‘scary spider’ tale.  As she told the story of hopping out of the shower, and grabbing a towel to dry off, JZ glared at The Boy and said “Hey – quit picturing my girlfriend naked!”  The Boy shrugged, hands in the air, an admission of “Busted!  But I couldn’t help it!”  M continued the tale, explaining that as she caught a glimpse of her shoulder in the mirror, she spotted a wolf spider hanging on, causing her to drop her towel and run naked through the house.  At this point, she paused and glared at The Boy for once again visualizing her naked, before finishing up the story.  i laughed so hard at her comedic timing, i about wet my shorts…

– Last night, The Boy and ZZ decided to cook dinner.  Since the grocery store run didn’t happen until around 7:00 pm, the meal wasn’t even nearing completion until around 9:00 pm.  My contribution to the entire event (other than financial underwriting for ingredients)?  Showing up in the kitchen periodically, letting loose with a Chewbacca-esque wail, and complaining that at my age i am used to eating at 4:00 pm in order to get the Senior Citizen early bird discounts.  The Boy finally had enough of this, saying “Look, I didn’t bitch for all those years you didn’t cook.  Shut her up with some bread or something…” at which point a bit of crusty Italian bread was pushed in my direction, and i was sent packing.

From that source of never-ending schadenfreude, Awkward Family Photos

18 thoughts on “Weekend “Scores and Highlights”

    • Mom’s been approved for the surgery, but she didn’t want to go under the knife. Now that she’s sick of the botox injections, which only work for about a month, she’s thinking about it again. Been trying to get her to just go for the consultation… glad it worked for your Mom! hoping i can coax mom to look into it…

      • It really could improve her quality of life. I worked for an ophthalmologist who did that type of surgery all the time. We had a lot of elderly patients who did just fine and really benefited from it. I know it’s hard to convince a parent they need elective surgery though. My own mother probably should have her cartaract removed but it doesn’t seem to impair her vision enough for her to want to do it.

        My husband’s grandmother had cataract surgery at age 91 and was thrilled with the results. When we saw her at a family gathering awhile later, she was wearing a beautiful sapphire blue dress. She said she hadn’t worn it in years because (with the dulling of her color vision from the cataracts) she thought it was an ugly gray!

      • texastrailerparktrash – i’m encouraged to take another run at it… when she started with the botox over 2 years ago, it provided better relief, but now her lids are just too far gone. it’s worth a try…

    • i like to enjoy the good stuff when it happens. little victories, happy stuff, and lack of major drama… never mind that life in my own little corner of the trailer park (ie: with my own spawn) is pretty good at the moment…

  1. I saw that photo the other day and snickered. It’s awesome.

    Given recent events, I’ve had cause to think about the retirement years and, more specifically, what I’m going to be able to do. Or if I’ll even be alive. Kind of makes you revisit that old question, “What’s the point?”

    • my brush with the medical establishment a few years ago was nothing compared to what you’ve had to deal with lately. but it was enough to remind me not to put off the good stuff… i’m in a spot where i can move some of those ‘bucket list’ items from my planned retirement right into the ‘now’ column. and that’s what i’ve been doing since i had that little bit of cancer in 2007… as for ‘what’s the point?’ exactly, my friend. i’m not convinced there is one…

  2. I love your family stories. I don’t miss the attitudes of my boys but I do miss the fun we used to have when their friends would come over.
    Poor mom not getting to read all her books..We have the same thing with books out the wazoo but I’m hoping to read most of the before retirement.

    • got my daughter a kindle for her birthday – and you can adjust it to LARGE PRINT! i’m going to look into lasik surgery next year, as my eyesight is degrading rapidly. if i couldn’t read? my quality of life would be pretty awful… regarding the ‘spawn’? we laugh a lot. i know there will be a day when i’ll miss it, as will they. that’s why i like to call it out…

    • i might join you. every year i become more and more invisible. happens sometimes to middle aged women. i’ve considered taking up bank heists as a hobby…. if you can still see well enough to drive a car? let’s do it!

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