Hello Kitty Gets Her Groove Back

About five years ago, i was at a technical program review held in Hilton Head, South Carolina.  Autumn weather, but it was still rather resort-y and beach-y, and the perfect setting for the Dawg Boyz that i run with to get up close and personally in touch with their ‘stoopid’.

New to the community was a program manager who had just returned from spending several years as our Asian representative, living in Tokyo.  She was then about 50 years old, a tiny waif of a woman, with a penchant for wearing 1960’s era Chanel suits, tailored clothing, and feminine frills.  Perfectly accessorized, too!  

Bubbly and exuberant, she was welcomed into the group for an afternoon happy hour by the pool*.  Within minutes, she was regaling us with tales of her time in Tokyo.  How to perform tea service, cultural mistakes that many westerners make in Japan, and how much she adored life in Tokyo. 

But what really got her lit up?  She shared with us her fanatical obsession with “Hello Kitty” products! “I’ve got just about everything they make with ‘Hello Kitty’ on it!  I just LOVE ‘Hello Kitty'”

By this time, some of the Dawg Boyz were getting a little tired of her chatter.  Ok.  MOST of the Dawg Boyz were tired of it.  While i was busy yapping at the other end of the table, i heard one of the auxiliary Dawg Boyz ask “Do you have the ‘Hello Kitty’ vibrator?”

Brief pause in the chatterbox patter, but without missing a beat, she pretended not to hear him, and continued on about all of her collectibles, and how she’s going to build a display area in her house for all of them.

Not to be ignored, the auxiliary Dawg Boy asked again, louder “Well, do you have the ‘Hello Kitty’ dildo?”

Brief pause, while she re-set her registers, and prattled on about something else.  Knowing she was not going to like the direction of the conversation, shortly thereafter, she excused herself and found less obnoxious tablemates.

Tonight, i found myself chilling with “Hello Kitty” at a local establishment, as we awaited the arrival of a birthday celebrant from the office.  i was there early, and when Hello Kitty arrived, looking lost and confused, i invited her to join me at the bar for a drink while we waited for the rest of the crew to show up.

Really enjoyed catching up with her, she seems to have made a comfortable transition back to the US, and is happy in her new job.  As always, she was dressed in her signature style – 1960’s style conservative suit, complete with matching accessories and white fingerless dress gloves! 

Given that this event was being held in something akin to a local tavern, she was the best dressed person there.  By a long shot.  Me?  Black yoga pants, tank top, and baggy overshirt.  Sexy to the extreme…

As we chatted and finished up our beers, our waitress stopped by to let us know that the gentlemen at the table behind us had picked up the tab for our beers.  Mildly shocked by this, as i’ve entered the ‘realm of the invisible middle-aged woman’, i turned to thank them with a smile and tip of the beer glass.

They were a crew of off-duty construction workers, still dusty from a day of manual labor.  Turning back around, i noticed that Hello Kitty was showing a little bit of thigh as she sat at the bar stool.  Complete with a peek at a lace-topped thigh-high stocking!   She was cluelessly flattered by the free drinks – and i had to point out to her that it was obviously because she’d knocked their boots off!

“Your fashion rocks, sister!  Knock ’em dead!”

image found here

* Rather than pay hotel beer prices, a friend and i had gone to the local grocery store, bought a styrofoam cooler, a couple cases of beer, and 20 pounds of ice.  We were resourceful like that…

21 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Gets Her Groove Back

  1. That’s the funniest vibrator ever! It reminds me of when they used to sell vibrators in the drugstore and called them “face massagers”. I bought them with my babysitting money. How’s that for twisted and ironic?

  2. Sledpress had a Hello Kitty post, wherein a link resides that brings you to the Hello Kitty bondage room. I think it’s listed as one of her most popular posts, for reasons that are all too clear.

  3. Poor DP? Unaware of Hello Kitty? Google it, you’ll be amazed at what sort of kitsch is encompassed by that brand.

    I loved this post! It was too funny. I just don’t understand why she couldn’t have just responded to the guy asking the question and said “But of course! Didn’t I say I had EVERYTHING?” That would have shut him up. Never underestimate the attractive powers of the Chanel suit, especially when there is a bit of lace showing at the hem to fire the imagination. Proving that the bare midriffed miniskirted little chicks running around are clueless as to what is actually sexy.

  4. robinaltman – i wouldn’t go anywhere near that thing. but i do appreciate a fine facial massager, or one of those gigantic things that takes the kinks out of your neck!

    ~m – kinda like two stories in one! i’m just too lazy to write much these days….

    kyknoord – stop it. you’re freaking me out. what am i wearing?

    renalfailure – “hello kitty” and “bondage” do NOT go together. at all. that’s a torture chamber, not a playroom.

    DP – Hard to describe. It”s “nest” is here. Creepy plastic cat, image emblazoned on all manner of products. Now including sex toys, although i suspect that’s not an officially licensed product.

    HMH – she is a bit odd, but in a nice way. lots of whitenoise and chatter, but she is proper, polite, and quite conservative. i really enjoyed hanging out with her a bit, but suspect that more than 30 minutes with her and i’d have been a nervous wreck. she simply never stops talking! amazing…

  5. writerdood – when i was a kid, i had my ‘attachments’, so i try hard not to throw rocks at the young ones when they ‘attach’. but from a 50 year old woman? it’s a bit scary…..

    blaiser – exactly.

    dolce – a free beer makes me purrr…..

    tNb – she’s a funny, funny lady! we should drag you to Lisbon one of these days… hmmm…

    ruby – really did enjoy hanging out with her. she’s…. ummm…. very kinetic….

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