Failing “Mother School”. Again.

It started when The Girl was only 14 years old.  There was a brilliant young man at work who was seeking greener professional pastures.  Despite all of my attempts to keep The Boy Genius in town, he eventually moved on, and was recently married.  Despite the fact that i’d offered my daughter’s hand in betrothal.

She was, perhaps, a bit young…

More recently, i have become enamoured with a troupe of young celtic punk gypsy funk musicians – who happen to be gorgeous.  One young man in particular has stolen my maternal heart.  Over the weekend i had the opportunity to work the local Celtic Festival as a volunteer – serving drinks, schlepping equipment on and off stage, announcing bands, and generally doing whatever* needed doing.

With some assistance from my wingman, i had an opportunity to chat with this young man after their final set.  During a meandering conversation about life, the universe and everything, i casually mentioned that i would be quite willing to betroth my daughter to him. 

Not missing a beat, the youngster replied “How many sheep do you have?”

daisyfae:  How many do you need?

Shortly thereafter, The Girl and her boyfriend, ZZ, joined us to use up some of our free beer tickets share a happy family moment at the festival.  Not to slight ZZ, who knows i adore him, i had to mention that once again i’d perhaps found a suitable husband for her.  A man wise enough to enquire about the value of the dowry.

The Girl:  So, how many sheep am I worth?  And by the way, would you quit selling me off to young men you’re attracted to?  That’s just creepy…

* i said “whatever”, not “whomever”.  you bunch of nasty little pervs…

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28 thoughts on “Failing “Mother School”. Again.

  1. archie – there simply aren’t enough sheep on the planet. i’m her mother. sure, i may offer her as barter, but she’s STILL my child, and worthy of the moon, the stars and at least… i dunno…. few thousand sheep? juggling sheep at that. sheep who own their own banks. yeah. that’s a start!

  2. as I recall..you were recently selling her for hot wings and B&J Ice Cream..Make sure you get included in her prenup..you deserve something for all these years of raising her.

  3. Daisy should really consider this offer. After all, someone who has the wit to come back with a response like that would probably be a lot of fun later on in life. Of course, celtic musicians are not known for their large amounts of money. Well, except for The Chieftains, perhaps.

  4. I love the banter between you and your daughter, creepy though it may be! I’m always joking around with other moms of daughters that my boys run around with that they should submit their dowry portfolios to me by year end for considerations. Funny, I’ve never gotten a submission…

  5. hisqueen – oops. i had momentarily forgotten that… that wasn’t so much a betrothal as a momentary sale, however…

    queenwilly – licorice toffee? hmmm… will have to add that to the mix….

    unbearable banishment – ummm…. i was the one at the show. she arrived for the beer. this music is a bit different. celtic jam music. although my friend and i are generally the two oldest people by the stage, it’s multigenerational stuff. not exactly death metal. and yes. i was VERY happy and drinky.

    alex – of course they need it. i’m just too old to deliver it to this particular band. need to find “Journey” or “Foreigner” on tour, i suppose. and bring a splint…

    DP – pain of conception? oh, i’m not sure, but i think that depends on who you’re doing the conceiving with…

    nursemyra – he’s special. very, very special.

    FJ – not only is the boy pretty and talented, but he’s a bit clever, too (sigh)

    HMH – i asked where he wanted to be in five years? he just wanted enough money to take care of his parents. not looking for fame. enough money to live, make music, and not have to tour other than in the summer…

    sally – we seem to be messed up in similar ways, however, you are WAY funnier than i’ll ever hope to be!

    ruby – they’re pretty spectacular. live performances? amazing. what a stage show is supposed to be…

    kyknoord – you know me too well. and as for what happened with the boys guitar backstage? no comment….

  6. kono – had to look it up, but it fits… oh, lord, does it bring me down when I’M living in Cougar Town…

    renalfailure – throw in a giraffe and we’ll talk…

    stephanie – gotta take a little of the fun out of it but pinching off the easy shots, don’t i?

    rob – ouch. that hurts.

    rassles – i’ll share. he’s pretty enough that it would be evil to keep him to myself.

    manuel – you really should keep your hands off the sheep, son.

    gnukid – right. they wanted the beer. it was ALWAYS about the beer…

  7. At least you’re out there, fighting the good fight, bartering sheep and other farm animals, no doubt. I’m fairly certain my mom wants me to be alone forever. And I haven’t let her down yet.

  8. Having gone through the whole growing-up-disaster-relationship business myself, I reckon there’s a whole lot to be said for letting one’s parents arrange the marriages.

    Gives one something else to blame them for.

  9. carla – that thought has perhaps occurred to me. once or twice. or more often. i’ve kinda lost track…

    lynn – a fair comment, given my obvious uncharacteristically cougar-esque behavior….

    alonewithcats – i suspect that’s not really what your mom wants. it probably just seems that way. get her a hot young boytoy and perhaps she’ll get off your back.

    jon – excellent point! as if there weren’t
    already enough things to hammer them with!

    blazngscarlet – not only yummy to look at, he’s delightful and polite, too! how annoying is that?

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