Trading favors

As i came home from work, my daughter’s boyfriend, ZZ, came up the stairs with a rather serious look on his face.
ZZ:  Follow me.  There’s something I have to show you.
daisyfae [looking concerned]:  What happened?
ZZ:  Nothing – just follow me to the kitchen.
He then produced several styrofoam boxes from the refrigerator.
ZZ [smiling]:
I bought you and The Girl dinner!  Veggie burger for her, and wings and potato wedges for you!
daisyfae [stuffing face]:  Om nom nom….
ZZ:  Didn’t know what sauces you liked, so I got honey barbecue and mild sauce.
daisyfae [continuing to stuff face with bird wings]:  So… om… mmmmm…. [slurp], what is it you want? [snarf]  Do you want to sleep with my daughter?
The Girl:  Hey, are you negotiating my virtue in exchange for a dozen hot wings and some tater wedges?
ZZ:  Isn’t that called a dowry?
daisyfae: They are pretty good wings…
After i successfully bashed through dinner, The Girl and ZZ were preparing to head out for some grocery shopping.
ZZ:  Do you want us to bring back ice cream?
daisyfae:  What?  Are you trying to buy my favor?  BenAndJerry’sNewYorkSuperfudgeChocolateChunk.  What is it you want from me?
The Girl:  He’s trying to get into your pants.  Ice cream worked on me…

34 thoughts on “Trading favors

  1. There’s my ticket to ride… offering women ice cream. “This pint of Ben and Jerry Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream says you’ve got an appointment with the handcuffs on my headboard.”

  2. nursemyra – not unlike your conversations with your sons, methinks!

    archie – i was too busy sputtering to respond to The Girl’s ‘conversation stopper’…. they got me – that, or i’m getting soft!

    savannah – sorry about wasted wine! that’s never a good thing!

    chris – *snort* hadn’t thought of that angle, but if i become all ‘jabba the hut’-like, i’m not sure it would work to his advantage. he’d have to walk the dog more often….

    gnu – troublesome triglicerides. oh, and were you asking with me, or my daughter? she’s a vegetarian.

    TAG – it soothes this particularly savage beast on occasion!

    jenuine -we all have our ice cream succubus, i think. i added fresh raspberries to the new york superfudge chocolate chunk, and was momentarily transformed to a higher consciousness. and yeah, i’d probably put out for ice cream. sad, but true.

    renalfailure – doesn’t work well on a first date, or a random encounter on a busy street corner. not a fan of americone dream, but i like handcuffs…

    queenwilly – welcome to The Park! any friend of nursemyra’s is a friend of mine!

    alonewithcats – no, but those are his real initials… and i don’t think he can grow the facial hair to join that particular tribe…

    dolce – virtue? did i ever have it? i’ve forgotten…

    tNb – *giggle/groan* Ba-dum-DUM!

    unbearable banishment – in case you haven’t been paying attention, there are about a dozen women in your comment box (not a euphemism) glancing sideways at you…

  3. Not that I’d try it myself, but girls do tend to turn into their mothers, so a test drive might not be a bad idea.

    Would home made ice-cream increase his chances by any chance? Just hypothetically, you understand, but I do have a very good recipe for strawberry cheesecake icecream I could pass on.

  4. HMH – virtue can also be its own punishment! i’m fond of most of what B&J crank out, and will have to try KarmelSutra. i like the name, too!

    stephanie – if someone wanted to poison me, free food, delivered to my kitchen, would be an easy way to do it! never turn it down!

    carlae – we had ‘magic shell’ instead. sold. he can now have access to the dog and cat, for that matter…

    kyknoord – i don’t think Milton Bradley is going to be marketing a “Pimp Your Daughter for Wings and Taters” board game anytime soon…

    lora – The Girl has the same twisted humor that is the foundational survival mechanism in all of us… obviously…

    jon – homemade ice cream? that’ll probably get access to my bank accounts! i can be easily bought! strawberry cheesecake? oh, yeah!

    DP – Sharon and Cher Alike? The twins? Kinky….

  5. hisqueen – that’s one of my favorites! but i like to make my own by bashing up frozen thin mint girl scout cookies and smooshing them into vanilla ice cream!

    FJ – so noted!

    lynn – good to see you back again! cherry garcia can make me lie and write bad checks… it’s all good!

  6. This post and all the replies makes me wonder. Is there a B&J flavor that isn’t good? I personally have never tasted Phishfood as I am not fond of gummy anythings, nor do things with “dough” in the title attract me. But Cherry Garcia is a regular visitor in our house. Never stays long, though.

  7. HMH – never tried the phishfood, but agree that gummie’s in ice cream may not work. SweeTarts? maybe…

    tammy – ok, i may have to try it! but will have some smashed oreos at the ready just in case it needs modification!

    jeanpant – probably not… i’m twice the age of my daughter this year. in fact, when i was her age, i had her. too weird…

    ~m – it’s always the right time for rim shot. SHOT. i said SHOT, damn it!

    fragrantliar – ice cream, cupcakes, or even a half-demolished bag of hershey kisses from last christmas… i’m pretty easy, when it gets down to it…

  8. Another vote for Cherry Garcia here, and I like Phish Food, too, although I’ve never noticed anything but gooey caramel and fudge fish in Phish food, no gummis at all. Oh, yeah, a pint of almost any of them will get my attention.

    @GnuKid-Come to Seattle and see what steak and lobster will get you.

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