Clearing my e-mail before bedtime, i was rattled by the appearance of this obviously targeted pop-up advertisement on my screen:
Senior people? Oh, for fuckssake, i’m only 48… Do i look like a senior citizen? Doesn’t that start when you’re, like, sixty or something?
Granted, when i turned 47 last year, i started telling everyone i’d turned 50. My logic is bullet proof. Once you reach 47, you are no longer in your “mid-forties”. You officially enter your “late-forties”, and if you tell someone you are in your “late-forties”, they will assume you are a lying sack of shit in denial, and are really fifty.
So why not go ahead and round it up?
The idea of an on-line dating site for folks over 50 is fine. But why is their sample chat so damn lame? “Do you like movies?” “Yes, all types! Care to join me?” says the suave and debonair* “LadiesMan”. Yeah. i can’t wait to get my hands on that piece of studliness… When i’m in my 50’s i can damn near guarantee i’ll be a bit more direct – why waste time with small talk, when the clock starts to tick a little louder?
LadiesMan: Hi! I like your profile!
50sGal: You have any medical problems? Heart trouble? Un-corrected ED? How are your teeth? Latex allergies?
LadiesMan: Would you like to see a movie with me?
Got this in an e-card from a friend, and this is probably a little closer to where my mental state lies at the moment. i had one helluva birthday weekend, thankyouverymuch! This rolling stone ain’t gathering no moss. At least not yet…
* pronounced “soo-AH-veh and de-BONE-er”…