fresh as a daisy

My little corner of the blogosphere has been flush with toilet-related commentary lately.  The unbearable banishment was charmed by an eloquent toilet memo here, and anniegirl wrote of doing the ‘homeless man locked in the public restroom’ dance here.

While attending meetings last week, held in a cushy office tower in a large city, i was confronted by this sign while making room for more coffee to survive the afternoon session.

Isn’t that sweet?  Pink, with pretty little flowers… very feminine and delicate.  But alas, the note reminds us that too many donuts and breakfast muffins at the pastry cart can cause Barbie to drop a monstrous poopile in the communal toilet!  Please flush repeatedly until all of your turd-shrapnel is cheerfully en route to the sewage plant!

Thank you, and have a nice day!

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25 thoughts on “fresh as a daisy

  1. ‘Now that you have a quiet moment, contemplate your next challenge’.
    Nothing wrong with the sentiment, per se. It is one of the ‘values’ embraced by the corporate I work for. But sometimes I wonder about the agency they use to promote the same. Putting up placards with this sentiment in the tea pause areas – OK. Plastering the back of every toilet stall door in the building with the same? Not so much. (Why does ‘I shit you not’? come to mind?)

  2. Maybe people are more circumspect in their toilet habits here in Sydney, I’ve not seen many public or work toilets where those signs would be necessary. Or maybe I don’t piss in other places often enough.

    Though when I shared a volunteer house with two lovely young american girls in Vietnam I had to pull “mother rank” on the last day and tell them to clean up their bathroom before shipping out. The floor was littered with paper, cotton buds, dental floss, tissues, hair….. I guess they thought the cleaner was going to do it for them. Or maybe their moms would fly over.

    (These were the same two girls who brought 30 t shirts, shorts and changes of underwear with them so they wouldn’t have to do any washing for the entire month! They were really sweet and fun to work with and I liked them a lot….)

  3. TBFKAMP – really? motivational messages on the toilet stalls? i’d be tempted to modify, or flush them. and yes, “i shit you not” definitely comes to mind!

    s.le – seems to be the case! i get cranky when women who are afraid of toilet seat germs stand over the seat to pee, leaving it nice and sprinkled for the next gal… airports are the worst for that one. a bit of common courtesy? sure! but mopping the floors is not part of my visit!

    nursemyra – this was in a spiffy high rise, with people wearing expensive suits and all that… you’d think they wouldn’t need “mom on the back of the door” to remind them to get the poo outta the toilet… as for your roomies? i’d have done the same thing… and have to bark at my current roommate (the daughter) for failure to pick up after herself on occasion…

  4. This is an awesome and, yet, nauseating post. I can’t reconcile the image of a delicate flower dropping such a massive pile that it would require multiple flushes. You’d more likely run into this sign in the men’s room of a lumberjack union hall.

  5. Maybe that restroom had low-flow toilets. They’re supposed to be better ecologically but the damn things invariably have to be flushed twice even after a pee just to get the toilet paper to go down. (I guess men wouldn’t have that problem. Another unfair advantage besides their being able to pee while standing. Curses!)

  6. Haha – my dad always used to refer to those sneaky bit of turdness that sneak back after a flush as orphans. He’d shout: who’s left an orphan in the bowl?

  7. unbearable banishment – that’s why it’s so silly, dear! women don’t actually shit! waste sublimates from our bodies, tranforming directly into rose scented vapors! couldn’t possibly be women leaving dukies in the toilet!

    syncopated eyeball – exactly. she is either frustrated beyond belief at her disgusting colleagues, or she is a puckered up, anal-retentive nutjob who can’t stand to see as much as a molecule of paper on the floor…

    rob – on my next visit? i might be inclined to replace the signs in that particular ladies room with your version. in fact, i KNOW i will…

    texastrailerparktrash – yep. low flow, compounded by that auto-flush mechanism that does premature evacuation when you lean forward to finish up your business… while the breeze is refreshing, a second flush may be required!

    Bb – rarely do women ever actually drop waste. but when we do? they are small, flower-shaped nuggets that smell like fresh linen and emit the cheeriest of springtime bird sounds…

    jimmy – i myself prefer the ‘home field advantage’. have never understood the gents at the office who are the “Nine O’Clock Charlies”, marching past my office at the same time every day with a copy of “Physics Today” tucked under the arm. If you can train your body to empty at the same time each day? Why not spare us the trouble and train it for 6 am?

    dolce – Orphans? Oh, that’s brilliant… we called them “floaters”…

    rubytwoshoes – i may have to bring modified signs for my next visit to that particular office complex. seems they could use a little humour out there!

  8. “A few times if needed” As if water wasn’t scarce enough already! It’s this kind of thing that really fucks up the calcs when you’re trying to optimise your processes at the sewerage works.

  9. too bad you didn’t have a pen with you. you could’ve edited the sign in so many ways. change the flowers to little skulls-n-crossbones… warn users of (nonexistent) crab infestations of toilet seats… leave my phone number ‘for a good time’…

  10. A classy joint like that should have had a poo poo Haiku

    We will claim your waste
    You will flush and flush again
    Please be sure to wash.

  11. kyknoord – what are you? a civil engineer? who else cares about poo fractions at the sewage plant…

    gnukid – i think constructive graffiti is definitely in order. i’ll leave your crabs out of it, though…

    carlae – haikus. they are always classier, aren’t they?

  12. Where is the “DON’T PEE ON THE SEAT COVER AND IF YOU DO, WIPE IT UP BECAUSE IT’S GROSS AND RUDE TO LEAVE YOUR URINE DROPLETS BEHIND FOR THE NEXT PERSON TO SIT IN!”

    Because honestly? Aside from not flushing, that’s the most common issue in the women’s washroom right after people who leave a flood behind at the sink for the next person to wonder what kind of germ life might be thriving in the little pools that make it nearly impossible to wash your own hands without getting soaked.

    Just wondering.

  13. annie – the problem of women who are such germaphobes that they STAND over the seat and pee ON it is the bane of my airport experience… wipe it up, wash yer damn hands. ugh…

  14. awe geez…now what could i possibly add to this post in the form of a comment? absolutely nothing…i’m dying with laughter at your choice of words here.
    “too many donuts and breakfast muffins at the pastry cart can cause Barbie to drop a monstrous poopile in the communal toilet!” that’s damn good!

  15. lynn – yes, despite our best efforts to convince people otherwise, we ladies must also eliminate waste products from our bodies. sad… fortunately, mine are rose-scented and shaped like lillies!

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