Running errands all morning, one of my stops was at the mega-hardware store for some plants and a tube of caulk to repair my bathtub. Wandering into the paint section, i was approached by a sexy, tattooed salesman*, asking if i needed help…
daisyfae: Of course, i need help. i need to replace the caulk around my bathtub. i did it a year ago, but apparently used the wrong shit because it’s cracked already.
PaintMan [walking me down the caulk aisle]: Well, here are the waterproof caulks. There’s some of the expensive stuff that sets in 2 hours if you need that…
daisyfae: Nah, just the regular shit i guess.
PaintMan: Had an Asian couple in here a few weeks back looking for caulk. Guess it was the accent, but she said “I’m looking for cock”… It was hard to keep a straight face, but I said “How much do you need, Ma’am”.
daisyfae [laughing, and looking back at wall of caulk]: That’s a riot! Ok, so what kind should i get? i don’t need the quick set stuff…
i started to reach for a tube of the regular looking caulk, but noticed that there were different colors, and i’d grabbed one that wasn’t white.
daisyfae: Wait, i don’t want the black cock…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* It was the same guy from almost two years ago who sold me the pink e-fucking-namel primer for my deck. And he’s still got the tattoos and is still just as charming…
Trailer Park Refugee 
Afraid it’ll change your outlook forever, hmm? What’s that expression – “Once you go black…”?
i’m still chuckling over the pink e-fucking-namel story…now what was that about buying black cock, sugar? *snickering* xoxoxoxo
daisy fae? flustered? by a man? [shaking my head] my world is officially off kilter for the day.
Ba-dum-bump. Is this thing on? I’m here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.
kyknoord – tis true. had i lined my bathtub with black caulk? there’d have been no going back…
savannah – this guy really is a charmer, and i’m thinking i may have to go back for more paint or supplies or something tomorrow… i’ll be the one wearing the bag over my head, though…
gnukid – oh, i was beyond flustered. i am told that i blushed. i can count the number of times that’s happened on my fingers. yikes.
unbearable banishment – there was more! we kept the conversation thread going awhile longer, and it degraded much further. giggles all around – definitely the most fun i’ve ever had in the paint department. so far.
Wait, I may have said this before, but, Bow- chicka-bow-bow.
Silicone sealant is what you’re looking for, m’am. Oh wait, I don’t think that’s what you were looking for at all. Maybe you can go back tomorrow and ask for the caulk magic.
Daisy’s got bathtub fever… Daisy’s got bathtub fever…
Wickedly brilliant hen, a man after my own heart.
I like the kind that sets hard instantly
If your caulk doesn’t harden in four hours, consult a physician.
carlae – why yes, as a matter of fact, that particular tune has been stuck in my head lately! 😉
chris – it will be much harder to screw up the words “silicone sealant”. i’ll have to go back today and ask him again… oh, and have you called your sister yet?
renalfailure – i got it bad and that ain’t good… up all night, fantasizing about that long, hard tube full of sticky, creamy salvation.
jimmybastard – i’m quite certain he’s a good time! bet he loosens up after a few pints, too!
nursemyra – yes, but i want it to last for a very long time. i’m willing to wait for it…
squirrelqueen – *snort* i might have to take it back to Dr. Hotstuff in the paint department!
What are you waiting for?
s.le – for the caulk to dry so i can take a shower! should have done that first, i think….
Yes, yes you should shower before cocking…I mean caulking.
shocking! heheheh
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I love intentional Freudian slips. It was intentional, right? God I hope so.
He sounds adorable. Now, I dare you to go in there and ask him where you can find a Hole Hawg.
silverstar – henceforth, i shall ONLY call it “silicone sealant”. and i’m sure we can come up with some silicone jokes…
manuel – no, that was the sexy beast in the electrical supplies department!
rassles – it wasn’t intentional. ‘caulk’ is a hard word to say… say it repeatedly – for like 15 minutes straight – and see if you can get through without one ‘cock’.
mstngsal – “Excuse me, kind sir… I am desperately seeking a Hole Hawg… My depths must be plundered.” yeah. i think i can do that…
I had black caulk before.
It was beautiful.
A bit thicker than I was used to, but quite lovely.
blazngscarlet – so long as the seal is tight? i’m not that fussy… the thickness can be managed by the size of the bead you cut.
‘Hardware Follies’ – Ha ha ha!
any colour cock please!
dolce – make that a double!