Overcoming the Dinosaur Brain

The workshop ended at noon, and after another hour lazing by the Atlantic, i wandered into the poolside restaurant for a late lunch.  Ordered a Mediterranean tapas plate, glass of pinot grigot and settled in with my book at a table with an ocean view.

Slow, late lunch crowd.  Other than an older couple at the bar and a chatty pair of women across the restaurant, the place was virtually deserted.  Sitting alone in a restaurant doesn’t bother me much, so i returned to my book.

They wandered in, looking a little lost.  Him?  Late 20’s, dark, frothy hair, smart-boy glasses and a chin that was inexplicably recessed and strong, with a cleft covered in 24 hours worth of stubble.  Just a shade short of handsome, he looked pretty average. 

Her?  Natural blond, porcelain complexion and a perpetual scowl on her face.  Fine features, high cheekbones – she’d be almost beautiful, except for the slight ‘pan-face’ structure.

Attractive enough couple that i’d watch their amateur porn videos for free, but probably wouldn’t pay for it…

Seating themselves at a table near mine, they snuggled over the menu and placed an order with the barkeep.  Having chatted up this barkeep previously about varieties of Puerto Rican rum, he stopped by to bring me a fresh glass of wine for free.  Nice buzz developing…

One of five restaurants in an extensive resort hotel complex, the service hasn’t been particularly swift.  i returned to my book.  Out of the corner of my eye, i noticed that she had sprawled out on the long bench seat, resting her head in his lap.

He draped his right arm over her neck, reaching back with his hand, gently stroked her blond hair.  Cradling her head in his lap, he picked up his book in his left hand – a 3 inch thick Tom Clancy brick* – and began to read.  He continued to stroke her hair in an absent minded manner. 

Like a lightning bolt from a clear blue sky, there it was.  An alien thought appeared in my brain – so striking in its abnormality that it flashed brightly, demanding my attention like a high definition billboard.

“i want my head cradled like that.”

What?  Where the fuck did that come from?  Me?  Her Royal Highness, The Ice Queen?  She Who Doesn’t Cuddle?  Ms. Independent “Boy Toy Collector”?

i was startled enough to almost drop my book.  Yep.  That very thought appeared in my head.  Couldn’t deny it.  Trying to get my head back in my book, that pesky little thought nugget wouldn’t let go…

At the moment, i have no interest in being half of a couple.  i like flying solo, have sufficient companionship to keep me entertained – and non-cranky.  Life really is good.  But, despite rumors, and my own violent protestations, i have to admit it:  i am, in fact, a human animal.

Biology is a powerful motherfucking force.  We are driven to couple – despite the fact that my eggs are on the verge of becoming dust particles, the limbic system still says “MATE, MATE, MATE”. 

Thankfully, the bartender delivered a plate of olives, hard cheeses, bread, prosciutto and tomatoes – along with another glass of wine.  Dinosaur brain is no match for copious amounts of alcohol…

* Had to look it up.  Executive Orders.  1376 pages, 1.2 pounds, dimensions: 6.9 x 4.3 x 2 inches.  Not quite 3 inches thick, but close enough…

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22 thoughts on “Overcoming the Dinosaur Brain

  1. I’d do an end zone dance, if I didn’t still suffer the ill-effects of the departure of my Lieutenant friend. We are paying the price for our hubris.

  2. it happens, we acknowledge and move the fuck on! hey, even after 41 years i still wish the MITM would hold my hand when i see couples walking hand in hand. different, i know, but really the same…we want the ideal, but live the reality happily. xoxoxox

  3. That must be the downside of taking a romantic Carribean vacation for work with a bunch of science types. The heart wants what the heart wants. And by heart I mean caudate, insula, etc. You’re just lucky you weren’t on a date.

  4. UK – yep. sneaky, sneaky hormones. the li’l fuckers…

    kyknoord – he was too ‘metro-esque’ for my tastes. looked like one of those prissy boys, who spend far too much time arranging the gel in his hair. i wouldn’t want him to touch me with a 4″ thick book…

    nursemyra – he probably could have put his book AND his drink squarely on her face. it was sort of flat…

    DP – well, i believe i’ll have another drink. he did the one-handed paper back book hold – flipping pages with his thumb. i wonder if he was just pretending to be reading…

    savannah – funny, but when i see couples holding hands on the street, especially old folks, i want to run them over with my car. yes, it is the same…

    chris – i hadn’t made the connection to the venue, but you’re right. i think the environment was a trigger… a substrate for romance. ‘the heart wants what it wants’ has often been my defense for some of the strange partnerships i have. same defense woody allen used, isn’t it?

  5. Ah HA! So you have a heart where you didn’t think one existed. Worst case of denial ever. Or perhaps, like Mr. Scrooge’s bad vision, it was brought on by an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard or a crumb of cheese.

  6. I like a whole bunch about this post that I can relate too:

    Sitting in a restaurant alone, reading a book….never bothers me.
    You’re in a resort, where I’m assuming there is sun and sand.
    A BONUS beverage
    Tapas…nummy
    Honeymoonish couple showing PDA and wanting sorta the same thing

    Atmosphere baby, atmosphere.

  7. unbearable banishment – no. the heart pumps blood. what i have discovered is that there is a primitive part of my brain, where basic survival function resides (limbic), that creates an emotional response that pushes me toward pair-bonding. or maybe it was the hard cheese…

    carlae – it ended up being TWO free bonus beverages! he liked me a bunch! now that you mention it, they probably were honeymooning. large silver wedding band on his left hand… it was an inherently soakable atmosphere.

  8. My slips into having a heart are usually followed with a loathing of all happy couples. “Fuck you for having what I don’t have!” And then the heavy drinking usually fazes it out, or I write up a blog post.

  9. renalfailure – i was still a little buzzed when i wrote the post. no need to go through the anger phase. this time.

    fundamental jelly – one of many reasons i refuse to sun bathe nekkid!

  10. those damn hormones show up at the oddest places..It’s the cycle of life…baby, tween, teen, twenties, mid-life, back to teens (where you are again), tween, baby..
    at least you didn’t (haven’t yet??) long/ed to have another baby..I have that..we wait each month to see what will happen with it…despite really wanting one and trying for it..some months I breath a sigh of relieve that it hasn’t happened yet.

  11. How odd. I could have sworn I commented on this. Said i was convinced you were going to go with the blow job under the table. And then you got cushy. Pah.

    (me too)

  12. hisqueen – the urge to breed? has passed me by. i like the two i have, and like my freedom. so far? that has trumped mother nature. that and the fact that i’m spayed.

    jimmy – ouch. there’s a festive visual. still wouldn’t pay for it…

    trailerparktrash – who knows… maybe they had just finished an exhausting debate on the heisenberg uncertainty principle, and were taking a break? probably not… 7 years, absolute max, even if they breed…

    dolce – i checked the spambox. nope. no comment. but yes, my style is a bit more ‘face down in the lap’ than snuggly… (sigh)

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