It seems that when i am on extended travel, something goes whack at the homestead. From small electrical fires to unexpected encounters with the local gendarmes, i have gotten the occasional call that can jack up my vacation time…
So i check in with my adult children to see how things are going… frequently using text messaging.
daisyfae: Hope things are going well. How’s the brown dog?
The Boy: Lost most of his fur in the fire.
daisyfae: The cat?
The Boy: You mean “the hat”*?
daisyfae: i’m not EVEN going to ask how The Girl is doing…
~~~~~~~~~~
* Our new cat has a rather remarkable ‘squirrel’ tail. i commented that it would look quite nice flying from my car antenna. After the cat passes away, of course. The Boy? His preference would be to turn the pelt into a Davy Crockett-style hat… yeah. we’re weird.
Trailer Park Refugee 
At least your family isn’t boring!
I used to have a Davy Crockett hat ……. well I would wouldn’t I …….
I have a skunk fur hat with tail. There is a picture of it on facebook somewhere I think.
I thank God almighty that my two kids will NEVER jerk me around in such a callous and disrespectful manner.
Will they?
P.S. Had to look up “gendarmes.” Am going to bed tonight just a tad smarter than I was when I woke up this morning.
hahahahahhaha they are fecking great…..
s.le – boring? nope. 9% “entertaining” with scattered “aggravating” to keep it interesting…
DP – i’m thinking it would look fine over top your ‘box’.
unclekeith – i knew i wanted to have your next baby… skunk hat? (sigh) that’s just dreamy…
unbearable banishment – of course those two darling little cherubs will never go down ‘smart ass road’ with you. never. simply doesn’t happen to thoughtful, caring and attentive parents. i’ve earned this… (“gendarmes” – french for PO-lice).
manuel – he may have a future in stand up. as in “stand up and beg for money”…
I have oft threatened to turn the pet kitties into gloves when they piss me off. Hasn’t happened yet, I’m sad to say.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Spoken like a true smart ass! 😀
The fire?
😉
if the kids weren’t smart asses, then you’d have to do it all on your own… oh…wait…
i’m thinking you need to Lo-Jack The Boy, just to be on the safe side.
Yeah, I get it. The last text I got from my daughter, while I was on a “first” date with a rather hot guy, read: Did you know a rat family can produce 15,000 offspring in a year?
Which cannot be explained to one’s hot date. Too risky. Might run him off.
Oi! Don’t touch that cat, I mean hat.
rob – but they’d have to match. mismatched kitten gloves wouldn’t make the fashionistas happy!
blazngscarlet – yep. don’t know where he gets it…
nursemyra – it was a small one, apparently…. i’m home. it’s fine.
gnukid – i’ve thought about putting an RFID chip in his ear. just in case. i mean, shit, we do it to our dogs. why not our kids?
fragrant liar – oh, they’ve messed with me on dates, before, too. and have helpfully offered to “greet” my dates just to keep them on their toes. declined the offers, of course…
syncopated eyeball – he’s a happy kitty… grown A LOT in the 10 days i was gone! makes for a nicer hat, i suppose!
I hope the damage to the dog was exaggerated. If I’d had kids, they would probably text me that to give me a heart attack.
silverstar – the scary thing is that the LAST time they called about a fire, it was real. i never know what’s real and what’s just screwing with me… Mr. P is just fine…
Pure dead brilliant humour!
jimmy – thank you. his response to the question about ‘the girl’? even funnier… may have to save that one for later…
Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, burned said t-shirt
Funny, DF
~m
@~m – ah, so you are a smart ass? who knew!
Pingback: Paperless « Trailer Park Refugee