Sending Children to Therapy, Part 278

It wasn’t even my party.  i simply offered my home as a “party substrate” – a place where a young friend, a university student without suitable digs of her own, could invite some friends over for a “direct sales” party.  With limited income, she wanted to earn some credits to acquire products essential for survival during her final year in college.

Not my fault she was selling fluids, lubricants and sex toys…

It was a “Pure Romance” party.  Sort of like a Tupperware Party for dildos, instead of air-tight food storage containers.  It’s pretty mild stuff, but provides a nice way to introduce people to the concepts of pleasure augmentation through advances in technology. 

The basic idea?  Invite all your friends over, a Product Hostess demonstrates and discusses items for sales, tasty fluids, lubes and powders are licked from wrists, games are played, food and massive quantities of drink consumed.  It’s just a party.  Attendees may place an order at the end of the evening.  We opted for a co-ed party, which meant no actual implements were displayed.  Or raced across my coffee table*  But it was still fun…

For me there was a gentle bit of awkwardness, however, since both The Boy and The Girl were home… at least when the party started.  They’d both been warned…  As the first attendee arrived?  The Boy was miraculously finished with laundry and escaped out the door to head back to his apartment.  “See you later, good luck with finals…” shouted as he slammed the door and squealed his tires out of the driveway.

The Girl wasn’t quite as efficient.  i had invited her, and her boyfriend, to stick around if they wanted to…  but they managed to have plans, and were gone before too long…  They returned as i was putting away the last of the food shrapnel, and cleaning up the kitchen before heading to bed.  The Party Hostess had left several catalogs and order forms, so i handed one off to The Girl, mentioning that if she still wanted to order something, it could be done directly with the hostess – no “middle mom” involvement required. 

We agreed that this was a bit freaky… even though neither one of us are particularly uncomfortable regarding the subject of sex, it’s strange when the discussion includes “hardware”.  With your Mom…  So we kinda left it at that for the night.

Late morning, i was up and around, scratching my bits and seeking caffeine.  She was at the counter, perusing the wares… and asked “So, are any of these things any good?”, in reference to a particular series of potions.  “Umm… yeah… they’re all ok, i guess….” as i went back to putzing in the kitchen.

Somehow, i just couldn’t bring myself to deliver the same glorious product testimonials i’d provided to the attendees at the party the night before…  Maybe it was just too early in the day? 


* At a party a couple years ago, i realized that some of the more articulated implements, when powered up to “Eleven”, could be raced.  Wagering occurred.  Perhaps there’s a “Robo-Dong Racing” reality series in my future?

10 thoughts on “Sending Children to Therapy, Part 278

  1. “Sort of like a Tupperware Party for dildos, ” It’ll take me at least a morning to remove all the pieces of cornflakes fae beneath the keyboards after that memorable line.

    You had me there doll…. pure dead brilliant delivery, and written with a real twinkle in your eye.

  2. nothing like a good sex toy party let me tell you, though i believe i did offer to let some pretty, young blonde pee on my this weekend at my friend’s art opening, we must suffer for art you know…
    I must add that one time my friends and I were getting ridiculously wasted in Cleveland and crashing at my dad’s apt., after a heaving night of boozing and substance taking my friend was flipping through trying to find some Skinemax when the old man says wait a minute and hands him this dvd of what turned out to be one of the raunchiest hard core porno’s any of us had ever seen (which is saying alot when you consider the low-life perverts in the room), needless to say the Old Man is a legend among my mates.

  3. “Sort of like a Tupperware Party for dildos”
    The image that IMMEDIATELY springs to mind is of a Tupperware party my Mother had when I was a little girl and listening to all the women exclaim with glee, “Ooooohhhh! Look at how TIGHT that is!”

    Now It makes me wonder if it really WAS Tupperware.

  4. syncopated eyeball – no point sugar coating it, is there?

    UK – i’d be happy to let you get a third leg up on the competition, if you wanna start the wagering…

    nursemyra – and some products? sell themselves 😀

    jimmy – as always, delighted to give you a chuckle. as for the keyboard flakes? turn it upside down, put your lips together and blow….

    kono – i think your pervs and my pervs would get along just fine. not to mention, dad!

    blazngscarlet – and they could ‘burp’ them… i used to love tupperware parties when i was a kid. mostly for the food, but i was always amazed at the millions of clever ways to package old food!

  5. your kids are likely already a lost cause that no amount of therapy can overcome. just go ahead and bring them fully over to the dark side… together, you can rule the world!

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