Trailer Park “Lamebook”

Lamebook provides a concise “Worst Of” summary for Facebook commentary.  Delivering daily affirmations that there is truly no lower boundary for human stupidity.  As if we needed more than this
 
Scanning my Facebook status updates over the weekend, i stumbled upon examples from my niece, DQ, that made me cringe.  Not quite the “way too much information” variety, there were a couple posts in one day that succinctly captured two key trailer park traits. 
 
The first:  Spend what you ain’t got, then spend some more….  My niece, DQ, doesn’t work.  Still claiming ‘post traumatic stress disorder’ from events that transpired with her ex-husband almost 10 years ago, she breaks out in hives at the suggestion of external employment.  Her current husband, BJ, is hardworking and skilled, but has been unemployed for nine months.  Through his unemployment compensation, along with sporadic short-term jobs, he’s managed to keep the bills paid.  Just barely…
 
Needless to say, they have no discretionary income.  Mom is still encamped in their living room.  Facebook status.  Last week. 

DQ Christmas shopping online today and maybe off to the stores tonight. I can’t wait to put up our tree!!!

Friend1:  Everyone is feeling the spirit early this year! I love it!

daisyfae:  i thought you were just going to give Granny* a green blanket and throw some ornaments on her?

Cousin1**:  Be nice daisyfae. She’ll haunt you forever!

Cousin2**:  I guess the remodeling won’t be done by Christmas? You had said that you hoped so … I thought perhaps that was an ambitious schedule …

DQ:   I told her I was going to hang garland around the bottom of her bed.  It looks like she’ll be here for a while longer.  We are going to start in the spring.  BJ has been busy and her house still has so much stuff to go through!

The second:  Inappropriate parental encouragement.  Although i gotta admit, the kid is cute.  This is DQ, III, spawned of DQ and BJ a couple years ago.  Another generation of trailer park goddess in training…. she’s doomed. 

Hooker heels & cappuccino

 * My Mom.  She’s been living on a twin bed in DQ’s living room since pacemaker installation in July.  The plan was originally for DQ and BJ to build a house in the country.  Whoops!  Requirements creep meant they couldn’t qualify for a construction loan.  The next plan?  Build a “small” addition onto Mom’s house, and move the entire mess of them over there.  Except there was a bit of requirements creep there, too… it became a “double the square footage in the house” exercise, and the project stalled for reasons i don’t fully understand… hence my smart-assed comment about using my mother as a Christmas tree this year.  But, Mom is happier in some ways now that she has family around her… Perils of benefactors, blessings of parasites… again…

** Two cousins, who know Mom is a bit crotchety… but not as bad as their mother… not by a long shot!

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13 thoughts on “Trailer Park “Lamebook”

  1. i love lamebook, the goddess’ slippers, and watching wars erupt on status updates on facebook. i am amazed at the dirty laundry that some people will air- and relish every moment of it.

    am i sick and twisted?

  2. i know it’s been said here before but the hooker heels and cappuccino line is the best daisyfae! it sounds like it could be the title of my life’s story. (funny) i’ll bet your family thinks your the nutty one!

  3. fragrant liar – she’s a cute kid. last year, at thanksgiving, she’d sit on the floor and beg for reddi whip. like a dog. adorable, really…

    jimmy – dreading the upcoming holidays. wish i could just sit around, watch movies, and drink with my kids… now THAT’S trailer park!

    nursemyra – i remember when the one that is now 14 used to dress up like that… and we’re making bets on when she’ll be pregnant…

    alljoedirt – i’ve done it. just not at 2 years old…

    dave – if you are, then so am i. schadenfreude. i see the stuff that gets posted on lamebook, and i feel better about my life. just a bit worse about the state of humanity, however…

    stephanie – of course. and i won’t pay $5 for coffee (unless i’m in an airport at 6am and desperate). prefer the gas station stuff myself…

    tNb – lamebook=trainwreck. you have to look. just once…

    lynn – i didn’t author it. that is the line her mother used as the caption. on facebook. (sigh)

    uncle keith – you scared me momentarily with the ‘i love the pictures of the kids…’ part. whew…

  4. You have much more interesting family on Facebook than I do. All I ever hear is that my nephew went to school with hamthrax and my dog nephew cut his paw running in the snow. Lamebook is scary btw.

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