Sign language

Even before he pulled this stunt on me at ten years old, The Boy had a knack for embarrassing me…

Both kids were in after-school care at a local facility*, known for the spectacular staff.  Retrieving my sprogs after work one day, one of the teachers, Miss Sharla,  intercepted me as i entered, pulling me aside into an unused classroom. 

Needless to say, i was worried… He’d recently broken his arm falling from the book loft, and was in the midst of his artistic phase that involved putting “butt faces” on people.  There were many reasons Miss Sharla might have pulled me aside for a private conference…

Miss Sharla’s son, Ben, was a friend and playmate of The Boy.  She proceeded to tell me about an incident with her five year old son over the weekend. 

As they were driving, another driver cut them off in traffic, forcing Miss Sharla to hit the brakes.  Ben lifted his pudgy little boy arm from the back seat, and flipped off the rude bastard.  Miss Sharla, maintaining her composure said “Ben, that’s not a nice gesture.  Do you even know what it means?”

Ben:  Sure.  It means you’re a bad driver.  The Boy taught me that.  Says his mom does it all the time…

bad parenting

he was askin' for it...

* The Charles Manson Family Day Care Center had a waiting list…


19 thoughts on “Sign language

  1. ah yes… No swearing in my house but my boy is like a sailor since he lives with his father. The “F” bomb is a biggie that has actually gotten him suspended from school already this year. Damn little punk ass bastard..SOB…needs to clear up his mouth before I wash it out with soap…

  2. see? your kids DO pay attention. and here all along you were thinking you had no influence on him. must make a mother proud. [sniffle]

    since the story got back to you, i’m hoping miss sharla was laughing while she shared.

  3. hisqueen – i see you subscribe to the “model horrible behavior so they won’t think it’s cool” style of parenting, that has rarely worked well for me….

    gnukid – miss sharla and the entire staff laughed their asses off at the situation. they even considered trying to write it up for submission to the “Reader’s Digest” humor sections….

    little fish – glad you laughed. sorry about the laptop. blame The Boy. that’s what i usually do…

    blazng scarlet – welcome to The Park. i think your husband is on to something… and it makes a pretty good excuse for me to do a bunch of stoooopid things…

    jimmy – well, i’m not much with the hook, but i have taught both of them the proper way to do a police traffic stop. window down, drivers license, insurance and registration in one hand, BOTH hands visible on the steering wheel as he approaches the car… essential parenting, i think…

    savannah – oh, yeah. did it with a bit of a swagger, i think. both of mine learned to swear while riding in the car. we took recreational blasphemy to an entirely new level…

    lynn – i think they already suspected. any kid who takes such pleasure in drawing all of the people in his pictures with butts for faces must have some messed up parents…

  4. i second what Jimmy Bastard says, and my three year old says “fuck” with such clear and precise enunciatian i can only smile while i tell him he shouldn’t say it.

  5. manuel – might have been the first time. there will likely be many more…

    uk – it was his ability to put it all in context, AND teach it to his little friend, that made me proud!

    nursemyra – one of my better parenting moments. sadly.

    kono – that was one of the first words The Girl sounded out all by herself! reading graffiti… such a good word!

  6. renal failure – i regret not teaching my children to swear in anything other than a redneck dialect. “whatr you lookin’ at, shithead?” isn’t anywhere near as much fun as “vada via, si odore di aglio” (roughly “buzz off, garlic breath!” taught to me by my father….)

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