What cookies?

It’s been an unpleasant and slow slog, but i’ve managed to evaporate about 35 pounds since January.  On average, a pound a week.  Not great, not terrible.  But i’ve “plateaued” for a few weeks, and have been trying hard to jump start the weight loss again with lots of exercise and careful attention to diet.

That means no fucking cookies.

Having The Girl living with me again has had some benefits.  i haven’t had to go to the grocery in about two months.  She gets food.  She prepares it and leaves tasty vegetarian scraps in the refrigerator.  Much like Christmas morning, i am often delighted with the yummy green and crunchy* things wrapped in cellophane in the fridge some mornings…

The downside is that she also bakes, or brings home, sweets on occasion.  i have no willpower.   i eat them.  They don’t put up a fight.

Last night, she got home rather late, and i’d just finished my crunching and push-ups workout and was getting ready for bed.  i heard the crackling of the packaging before i smelled them… Oatmeal Chocolate Chips Ahoy!  Not a favorite, but definitely something that would serve as a tasty bedtime snack!

Keeping it to just two small cookies, when i could easily gnaw my way through the entire package in a few short minutes, i instructed her to get them out of sight by morning.

daisyfae:  Hide them!  The last thing i need is to wake up and find these on the counter in the morning…

Upon waking up, and successfully scratching my bits, i found myself in the kitchen.  The debris from her late night dinner was evident, as there were a few pots and pans and other assorted cooking crap piled in the sink, and some clutter and mess on the counter.  Still asleep, but attempting to make tea, i reached for the pile of paper towels left in front of the microwave – and realized just then what a brilliant young woman she’s become…

What's this mess on the counter

Upon closer inspection…

clever trick

Ahhh…. the old “hide in plain sight” trick.  Not exactly what i had in mind…  They survived the morning, but probably only because i’m battling the headcoldfromhell and with 5 pounds of lugubrious secretions inside my head, i couldn’t even taste the damn things. 

Need to get her a spot on the UN Weapons Inspection Team.  Bet they’d never get anything past her…


* Not to be confused with the “green and slimy” things that tend to set up residence in the fridge when i’m left on my own for a few months…

17 thoughts on “What cookies?

  1. You know, it’s interesting. After not eating the “fully processed” baked goods for a while, whenever I do succumb to a few mouthfuls I find they have no taste at all, leave me feeling a bit sick to my stomach and not a little flatulent. Now if that last isn’t motivation to never have another store bought cookie, I don’t know what is.

  2. I must confess… I’m exactly the same with chicken legs. There’s nothing like munching on the old drumsticks when you have a bit of hunger about you.

    I’m no allowed to eat the skin, or to have salt, but where there’s a chicken leg, it has my name on it.

    Now.. if only I could sneak them into the bedroom of a night!

  3. First i’d like to commend you Daisy on dropping the pounds, that takes will power and discipline and alot of other things i don’t have, that said i have a cookie/donut jones you wouldn’t believe, i mean i think i should start this “my name is Kono and i’ve been addicted to cookies and donuts for 30 plus years”, shit giving up crack was easier….
    i live near a bakery and sometimes at night when i take my clear my head walk to the coffeshop i pass by it and can smell the donuts, bread, pastries wafting out and it’s all i can do to keep from throwing a brick threw the window and going completely apeshit, the cops would find me covered in powdered sugar and maple frosting and smiling like a fiend.
    Sorry, forgot to add great post! Can’t wait to see your next post!

  4. Muffins is what does it for me. That and late night snacking because when hubby has a snack I just can’t resist joining him..
    35lbs is awesome. I keep complaining about my weight and even have a Bowflex and Treadmill in my house. I just never get on them. Just my laziness.
    Girl is too great…At least she remembered to hide them..

  5. See, I know exactly what you are going through, having lost almost the identical amount of weight in the identical amount of time using the same method. Those cookies would never be a problem for me. All I would have to do is read the ingredients and start figuring out how much stuff is in them that is not actually food, and they would not be the least bit tempting. My downfall is single malt scotch and Ben and Jerry’s icecream (not at the same time).

    Hang tough! And when you can’t hang tough don’t let your self feel guilty for eating what you love. Just go on from there.

    Sometimes I go to the grocery store and pick up a 25 pound bag of sugar along with a 10 pound one just to remind myself of just exactly how much weight I was hauling around all day.

    I have so much more energy now, wonder why? I know you have a cold (sucks, don’t it?), but think about how much more energy you have every day when you don’t have a virus dragging you down.

    Congratulations, and may you reach your goal soon.

  6. 35 fucking pounds? Jesus. Eat a fucking cookie, emo.

    You know, in my experience with losing weight, though I am not an expert, the only way to break a plateau is to take a break from everything for a week. No working out, no dieting, just let it go.

    Then hit it hard with a completely different workout the next week. Same thing with diet. Change it up. It worked for me, and it got me down to my fighting weight after I got fat as all fuck one time.

  7. I was fine through this comment string, till I read what Casey wrote and laughed out loud. But he/she (?) is right, it’s okay to give yourself a reward now and again. You might want to check out an organic foods store, sometimes those places have a bakery that might have a rack of no-sugar, no-gluten cookies, which, while a little on the crumbly side are still pretty good.

    That said, I read a couple of studies which basically say the idea is to reduce your weight by 1-1.5% per week, so I think you’re actually doing fine, steady freddie. Any more could put undue stress on the kidneys and liver.

    Anyhow, continue up the good efforts and progress. It’s helping my own weight loss program out here in Dudesville. All this from one who once ate an entire box of Oreos in about five minutes.


  8. stephanie – i really figured she’d put them on top of the fridge or something. this is the kid that used to be pretty good at hiding the tasty chocolates they’d get me for christmas (which i’d generally sniff out a week before the 25th!)

    renalfailure – great point. although i managed an 88% on my midterm today, that allows me margin to fuck up the final…

    rob – it’s never about the taste for me, it’s more an obsession. like an alcoholic, i can be tormented by uneaten treats… will fight it all my life. although if they gave me toxic gas? might be good motivation….

    jimmy – the chicken leggies are a lot of work, but i love the sauces! spicy, tasty and sweet, i’d prefer just to lick the legs clean… that’s generally ok in the bedroom, i think…

    nursemyra – of course, you of the most gorgeous thighs on the face of the earth!

    tNb – excellent idea! and if you eat them over the sink, with a diet soda? negative calories!

    unbearable banishment – she’s a funny girl, but my guess is she was just tired…. and i know it’s better to go slow, but so frustrating. the reality is? i’ll never be done. (sigh)

    kono – thanks! and you’re a man after my own powdered-sugar heart. i can eat a dozen donuts in a sitting. and i have in the distant past. the absolute volume of sweets and bakery stuffs that i can consume is alarming. it’s not abou thunger, it’s an obsession that i’ll fight to the death…

    rassles – no matter what, whenever i go to my mom’s house, i start rooting for the junk food. even year old mini-snickers bars are in play. habits. environment. all that shit. and only seven? i can do A LOT more…

    uncle keith – the italians. they’ve earned the reputation. just wish i hadn’t agreed to that ‘nose’ thing… seemed like a good idea at the time, but you kinda had to be there…

    hisqueen – i can’t have the stuff in the house or i binge. uncontrollably. when i’m happy? when i’m sad? doesn’t matter…. it’s going to be a battle for life…

    healingmagichands – welcome to the park, and congratulations to you as well! it’s hard. it’s not always pleasant. it’s about re-learning how to eat and all that – which you seem to have mastered! i’ve done the same trick in the grocery store – and yes, the energy difference is amazing. i’m running again. did a 5k this week. can’t imagine doing it with the extra weight on me…

    casey – ok, but i’m going to have a drink or two instead…. i think you may be right. just re-set the registers again then blow them the fuck out of the water with something new. need to start running bleachers or fencing or something… something i haven’t done for awhile… hmmm…

    sonny – congrats on getting started. sometimes that’s the worst part. ok, not really. it’s about the7th year when it gets to be a real bitch… seriously, hang with it. it’s kicking your own demon in the ass that is perhaps the most satisfying part… and i have eaten an entire package of oreos with double stuff in one sitting. a little over 5 minutes, i think, but only because i was feeling guilty…

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