My son, who is just a few months short of his 21st birthday, has inherited a self-destructive bent from his mother. Although he’s very smart, and doing well at the university, i still worry about him. A lot.
While home on my lunch hour this week, we had a lovely mother-son text exchange. Out of the blue, i got this:
The Boy: Do you know my blood type?
daisyfae: O pos – Why are you asking?
The Boy: Well, I’m at this hospital, and they think it might be relevant. Just kidding. We were going over it in biology and I was curious.
daisyfae: Fuck. You.
My mantra regarding my son is “keep him alive til he’s 25”. Frequently, i wonder if his ol’ lady is the greatest threat to his continued existence…
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I say it’s time (perhaps past time) to evoke the mothers curse. You know the one I mean.
Look him in the eye and explain that some day he will have children that do the same borderline insane things he does.
Then make a note in your diary to be sure and teach these otherwise sweet angels all the dirty tricks.
TAG
I’m thinking the apple doesn’t fall far from the tequila glass … 😉
“keep him alive til he’s 25″
What happens at twenty five… wait the red light on my palm just turned on… I’m scared!
A Logan’s Run reference. Sweet.
good catch! i missed that!
ah those boy children will be the death of us daisyfae…. at least you managed to squeeze one girl out
that is one of the worst “random” questions to ask a parent upfront- i love it. sounds like he just may be a chip off the block.
does he read your blog? just curious.
The apple never falls far from the tree. My dear.
Aahhh. Just read the comments. Someone beat me to the cliché. You walk around thinking you’re one in a million and it turns out you’re just a dime a dozen. Clichés!
TAG – the thought of him breeding is terrifying at this point… although you are absolutely right. someday? i’m going to be “The Bad Influence Granny” and make SURE the grandkids exact revenge on my behalf!
tNb – true. but the things i did were different… yeah… different…. like telling my parents at 19 that i had moved in with a 26 year old man, and i’d no longer be accepting financial support… terrifying, yet responsible at the same time!
alex – well, in the US, that’s the last real birthday that gives you any rights. you have to be 25 to rent a car. but in general, it’s the age where much of the self-destructive stuff has played out… mostly… i think…
nursemyra – boys are different. but you always know what they’re thinking about, so in that sense you don’t have to play the ESP game that is required to sort out why the girl-child is weeping uncontrollably for days on end….
dave – he’s done this before. once from canada, while camping alone. li’l bastard. yes, both of my children are regular readers. part of the reason i’m writing is to illuminate their trailer park history and make sure that they recognize the behavior that leads nowhere… and it’s helped us stay connected while they’re off doing their thing…
unbearable banishment – you’re at least one in a few hundred?!? does that help? sadly, i believe if my mother knew the fun i’ve had with The Boy over the years, she’d probably be gloating. Just a little…
maybe the appropriate response would have been, “Next time you’re home, we’ll find out in person – – ‘Look at that, at least we know it’s red!’…”. that, or duct tape him to the ceiling in the garage.
Kids end up giving us more grey hairs and sleepless night than anything else in life. The unexpected phone calls and “shock jock” approach to life, just seems to add to their adrenaline rush of “growing up”
That doesn’t sound like the kind of thing you would have done to your parents. I bet you were always respectful and never gave them a moments a worry.
ahh..priceless..you’re response is actually what gave me the most laughs. I thought I was doing something criminal when I say that to mine on occassion. The everlasting language of parental love. It let’s them know you’re listening and just don’t really care.
I was going to go with the apple thing also but it seems to have worn out it’s welcome.
Ahahaha. That’s funny.
There should have been a pause after he mentioned the hospital, just to give you an opportunity to wig out for a moment before the Just Kidding part. The boy needs to learn timing.
Wait ’til you start learning things via facebook. Like, for example, I learned today that my 24 yo daughter had a knife incident at work (she works in a restaurant kitchen). I figured it was a little nick; her older sister’s done the same. Then I saw, in the replies to comments:
just the tip. I saved it and got it reattached with only a few stitches.
Oh well. Points for resourcefulness, eh?
i think the year you’re looking for is 27, remember that is the year that Jimi, Janis and Jim all bought it and Kurt Cobain blew his brains out, sorry but you’ll have to extend that mantra, wish i had someone to help me at that age then i wouldn’t have been doing poor man’s speedballs and fretting about my own demise, i was never so relieved as the day i turned 28.
gnukid – duct tape or a staple gun, he’s gonna get it…
alljoedirt – i really just wanted someone to send to college. i didn’t sign up for this bullshit!
uncle keith – i hid it well. they were so tired by the time i was in high school that i just didn’t want them to have to worry about me. college? i was 19 and living with a 26 year old man… declaring my independence. they didn’t worry…
hisqueen – didn’t start droppin’ the ‘f-bomb’ on them until they were late-ish high school. now, they both swear like sailors, but occasionally i can make them cringe (like “Lick my sweaty nutsack!” yelled at a driver who cut me off once… The Boy asked me not to use that one again because it freaked him out…)
sweetlife – thanks! makes me happy to make you laugh!
renalfailure – he put it in the same message on purpose, i think, so he wouldn’t REALLY freak me out… i’d have probably reached through the phone and throttled him. i’ve gotten actual calls like that, so he knows better…
rob – OUCH! facebook-world is a pretty scary place, isn’t it? very resourceful… did i say “ouch?”
kono – (sigh) i hope you’re wrong about the age trigger… i’m not sure i’ll last another 8 years… there are moments… having nothing to do with the silly stuff i post…. where i’m at a complete loss…
Aye hen, I’ve been there with my brood, and got the grey hair to show for it.
Get your bodacious tatas over here … http://www.terella.no/ … and get your travel mate nm’s ass here as well… and bring the boy too if you think it will do him good, and the girl and her guy if you got the cash… please! x
jimmy – ahhh, if it weren’t for the magic of the lovely woman who tints my hair, i’d be completely grey… afraid it will fall out before i’m done with this…
Bb – oh, my! that sounds like fun! i’ll ask the delicious nursemyra if there might be a way to swing by Oslo on our adventure… Hmmm….