no woman, no cry

A few old friends were participating in a Reggae-themed 5K run over the weekend.  i decided to join them*.  About 5000 people, doing a laid-back run (no timer chips), followed by a massive party.  Your registration for the race gets you four drink tickets.  Pretty much captures the essence of the event…

Managed to miss the folks i was supposed to hook up with before the run, so i just went on and did my thing.  Slow going, for sure, but i finished.  Major hills didn’t cause much pain and suffering.  A breezy, chilly – but gorgeous – autumn night.  Even though i was flying solo, i had a blast doing it…

Post-race, i needed to get to my car to put on warmer clothes.  i popped the trunk, took off my running shoes, pulled on some warmer pants over my running tights.  A wind gust slammed my trunk lid shut, and i instantaneously realized i was fucked.  Keys were lying on the small ledge, just under the now locked trunk lid.

No panic, i called the auto club.  And quickly realized that my phone was going to die within a couple minutes.  i managed to tell the operator where i was – in a city park, along with 5,000 other people, parked amongst a thousand cars in a soccer field, gave her my membership number and cell phone number, and that i’d be turning my phone off for 15 minutes in hopes that i could salvage enough charge for another call… Then silence.  Phone dead.

i briefly considered my circumstances.  The nearest key to my car was about 90 minutes away at home.  Could have had my daughter or a friend drive it down, but that seemed overkill.  Since the free food and booze was flowing, i hiked back up to the party.  In my socks.  Grabbed a tasty barbeque sandwich, some popcorn and a beer and headed back to wait for Mr. Tow Truck Driver.

It was now fully dark, traffic was heavy as people left the race, but more arrived for the party.  Finally spotted the truck, jumped up and chased him, as he’d turned the wrong way.  He saw me jumping up and down and made a u-turn.  As i’m climbing into his truck to show him where my car is parked, i asked “Are you looking for the idiot-broad who locked her keys in her truck?”

Since i had the convertible, it took him perhaps 30 seconds to unlock my car.  And set off the car alarm.  Diving inside, i pushed the button for the trunk release, and learned something new about my 9 year old vehicle.  When the alarm is going off?  The trunk release is disabled.  Fuck.

He suggests trying to get in through the back seat, but my seats do not fold down.  Doesn’t stop me from climbing in and trying to access the trunk anyway.  Tearing off the upholstery, we were able to see into the trunk, which was full of all kinds of random shit. In addition to my running gear, there were two plastic flamingos (stolen after the show for later use), costume parts, work boots, a bag of shit my daughter put there for me to take to Goodwill and other assorted crap. 

i pulled most of it into the car so we could look for the trunk release.  Mr. Tow Truck Driver, who is a large man, was unable to really see inside, even when the trunk was nearly empty.  My car is a 2-door, and there wasn’t much maneuvering room.  He asked if i might be able to slide inside a little further.

So i squirmed and wriggled up and over the seat, snaking the top half of my body fully into the trunk.  Upside down.  Ass and legs still inside the car.  Sweeping the trunk with his flashlight, looking for the neon “emergency release” handle, i saw nothing useful.  Extracting myself, we were back to scratching our heads. 

i asked if he could just pop the lock with a screw-driver?  Nope.  Not allowed.  He asked if i could get all the way in the trunk to look in the area under the window.  Yes, but i doubted i could get back out the way i came in.  He said “Well, then i’d have to pop the trunk lock”.  Hmmm… there’s our option.  Barring success any other way, i was going to ‘get stuck’ in the trunk so he’d be authorized to punch the lock with a screwdriver. 

We were on a mission at this point.  Committed to getting my keys.  And i have to say, it was quite the challenge and Mr. Tow Truck Driver and i were sort of enjoying it.  i asked “Am i the biggest bonehead you’ve run into lately?”  He said “Yeah, but you’re a helluva lot more fun than most people!”  He took another look at the trunk from the outside.  Peeking in the crack with his flashlight, he was actually able to see my keys, just out of reach, under the lid on the ledge where i’d placed them.

Grabbing a screwdriver, i wedged it under the trunk deck lid.  And pulled.  And grunted.  And got my legs into it and managed to lift it just enough for Mr. Tow Truck Driver to reach in with a pair of pliers and snag the keys!  You’d have thought we’d won the lottery!  We were whooping and hollering and high fiving and acting like idiots. 

The car alarm had stopped honking, but the lights were still flashing, so i restarted the car to charge the battery while he finished the paperwork.  Plugged in the phone for a quick charge, too.  The entire thing took about an hour from the time the trunk lid blew shut.  Plenty of time left to drink and listen to the band.  And so i did…

Great party.  Great band.  Found a couple of my friends.  Life is good…

* The last time i met up with old friends, my car got stuck on railroad tracks… Hmmm….

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17 thoughts on “no woman, no cry

  1. See, the difference between you and I is if this episode happened to me, not only would I NOT make a post out of it, but I’d bury the incident deep down and try to never think of it again. It’s a threat to my considerable male ego.

  2. I’ll admit that I…….fantasize about that happening to me when I lay the keys in the trunk whilst doing things with the stuff in the trunk. Okay, maybe “fantasize” is not the right word, but I fully understand – and live in fear of – what happened on this particular outing.

    I was shaking my head as I read this. You get up to the wildest shit there, miss daisyfae. Glad it all worked out. Again. One of these days, you’re gonna run out of that bullshit luck, you know….

  3. Hmmm, your post made me realize that I haven’t been doing enough whooping and hollering and high fiving lately… (PS: nice work on the 5K run!)

  4. archie – The Coasters! fun stuff…

    fragrant liar – getting used to doing my thing on my own. there will be adventures… beats sitting on the couch watching life go by!

    unbearable banishment – guess it’s just easier being a chick in some ways… but then again, i am not the worlds most effective cook, suck at decorating, and wear clothing that is older than my dog. that ‘dings’ me in chick points…

    rob – i had a choice. put the keys down at my feet, in the tall grass as the sun was setting, or put them on the trunk ledge. Now, there was another option: put them in my shoe and leave my shoe in the grass. but i didn’t think of that til later. because i’m a doofus. and yeah, i’ve had more than my fair share of bullshit good luck… makes me nervous.

    nursemyra – sometimes, i think so… sometimes i’ve made my own luck, and other times, it falls from the sky. is there a finite amount due any one person? hope not, or i’m fucked…

    tNb – always a good plan to celebrate the little victories. although Mr. Tow Truck Driver and i were pretty jazzed about this particular challenge, so it didn’t seem all that little! saved me from incurring about $250 in damages to my trunk lock, though!

    kono – i was a little surprised not to smell that particular odor at the afterparty. perhaps that was at the after-afterparty?

    blaiser – i was (briefly) tempted to just jump in the car and hit the highway after i got the keys. but i really wanted to hook up with one friend in particular… and knew he and his gal pal would be hangin’ with the music…. and i found him… so it was big fun!

    renalfailure – what? my yoga pant-clad ass perched atop the back seat of a beat up convertible, legs sprawling over the front seat headrests, doesn’t paint a sexy image? you’re not nearly as twisted as i thought…

    manuel – bob marley. gone but not forgotten….

  5. chris – probably should, but i choose ‘single’ rather than ‘couple’. and since i was meeting up with old friends, wasn’t inclined to bring along folks who’d be bored by historical chat… so i make friends with tow truck drivers…

  6. “So i squirmed and wriggled up and over the seat, snaking the top half of my body fully into the trunk. Upside down. Ass and legs still inside the car.”

    That’s exactly the way I meet you for the first time in my dreams.

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