Bad TV Show: Upscale Emergency Room

The Girl provided an unplanned opportunity to make another emergency room (ER) run last week.  All’s well, but the experience provided a dramatic contrast to another recent venture into a hospital ER in the middle of the night.

Somewhere around 4:30 am i was awakened by The Girl, standing in my bedroom saying “Mom, my heart is messed up…”.  I don’t care how old your kid is, that’ll get ya moving…  Her heart was racing, and she was experiencing palpitations.  As was i at this point… Started around midnight, but settled down enough for her to go to sleep, but it had woken her up again.  A visit to WebMD was enough to sufficiently terrify her, so there we were…

Having had a run of my own heart palpitations* a few years ago, i knew the drill.  With heart issues, a visit to the ol’ Doc In a Box at the local Urgent Care facility would only get us shipped to the hospital.  Quickly checking on-line, i found that the new suburban hospital, just about 8 miles from home, had an “Emergency Room and Trauma Center”. 

ZZ, her boyfriend, joined us for our adventure in after-hours emergency medical care.  Arriving, there were barely any cars in the parking lot – wasn’t even sure they were open.  The waiting area, complete with modern Scandinavian furniture and a salt water aquarium, looked more like the lobby of a four-star hotel — the atrium was at least three stories tall!

Oh, and there was absolutely no one else in the waiting room.  At 5:00 am.

The Girl was processed in, and we were whisked back to a treatment room.  Mentioning the level of ‘quiet’ to the triage nurse, she said “oh, you should have been here earlier… it was hopping!”   The nurses quickly got her wired up for an EKG while ZZ and i waited outside the room.  We made silly small talk to pass the time while waiting for the doctor.  Politics, life, trailer parks and the universe to pass the time.

The doctor arrived shortly.  And i mean “shortly”.  She was about 5 feet tall, and a rather masculine 50-something woman, spiked gray hair, no make up…  What’s the word i’m looking for here?  Stereotypical Dyke? No-nonsense.  She was very friendly, very nice… and after going over the results of the EKG, ruled out anything really scary, suggesting that it might have been an anxiety attack.  Offered some Xanax (to The Girl only, damn it…), and after patting The Girl affectionately on the arm, left to take care of the meds…

daisyfae:  Well, that’s a relief.  Nothing serious!  Oh, and i think the doc liked you a bunch… 

The Girl:  What?

ZZ:  Oh, yeah.  She was totally giving me the stink-eye….

We were back home by 6:30 am, and The Girl hasn’t had any further issues.   Other than watching an older woman make hairy-eyeballs at my daughter, nothing painful or traumatic.  I’m thinking this would make a fairly shitty TV series… Not nearly as much fun as “Appalachian Emergency Room”.

Cletes loses another sharpie....

Cletus loses another sharpie....

* Premature Ventricular Contractions, PVCs, which were cleared up by about 3 months on beta blockers.  Cause?  Working for a Knuckle-Dragging Caveman, KDCM.

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11 thoughts on “Bad TV Show: Upscale Emergency Room

  1. The Girl has to sleep sometime. then it’s time for momma to make a midnight raid on the Xanax stash!

    glad she’s doing better and hope it was just a passing thing.

  2. glad all’s well, i thought i was having heart problems once, early morning after downing convienent store coffe and orange juice, maybe a donut, also i should mention i was doing a lot of home cooking of illegal substances, much better than what you’d get on the street you know, oh to be young and stupid, went to the ER, turns out i just needed to eat these things called vegatables and something called fiber, i guess my diet of Scotch, draft beer, crack, coffee and the occasional pizza wasn’t all that healthy.

    and some advice, don’t drink and take Xanax, you’ll pee the bed or at least i know someone who said that’d happen. 😉

  3. Hey Daisy, thanks for your comment on my recent post. That actually made my day, given my recent situation. Really appreciate it.

    I’ve also been in a hospital waiting room in the middle of the night with no one around, always a discomfiting feeling. Is anyone back there? Why am I waiting right now? I could be dying out here and no one would f***ing know? Hello? And onward.

  4. Emergency Rooms are a virtual crapshoot. I hope the girl remains as anxiety free as possible. Of course, times and relatives being what they are…none of us get a free pass.

  5. Thank the gods… my doctor is a german dyke, man she is scary… recently naked and face down on the hospital bed, I streched my head up and back to let her know what she was doing really hurt. She responded, “Vell itz not so pleasant for me too”!

  6. unbearable banishment – oh, i suppose i could blame myself, but that wouldn’t be very ‘trailer park-esque’, now would it? she had a mild run of these after her ’round the world’ venture. nothing since. she’s got some major life changes underway – including moving home while seeking career employment – so that might be it. she’s ok… and will remain unmedicated!

    gnukid – no drugs. alas. back to trying to get them in for dental work so i can steal the vicodin…

    kono – you know, it’s always good to know someone with expertise as a “pharmaceutical hobbyist”. i may ping you with questions some day… you are a fount of knowledge!

    sonny – no problem. made a choice when i decided to be single. no way in HELL i’m going to move someone in just to lift heavy shit. i need to be strong. good luck. my money’s on you!

    uncle keith – she’s doing ok. no recurrence. but then again, i’m keeping her away from the extended family…

    Bb – oh, for the love of god, PLEASE don’t tell me she has moles with hairs in them on her chin? that’d be the ER doc…aaaaargh!

  7. Ah yes, the 4:30am panic attack. Haven’t had one of them in a while. Nothing like existential terror in the dead of night. And even if you can go back to sleep it’s not worth it because your alarm for work goes off in an hour or two anyway. At that point I wouldn’t mind my heart exploding out of my chest.

  8. Hearts. They’re great as long as they don’t make you aware that they’re there. So that must have been terrifying for The Girl – then it’s a vicious cycle because the terror at that racing or missed beat can trigger more episodes. Hope that was an isolated thing. I’ve had PVC’s for some time now – had heart workups galore and all they ever say is yep – we saw ’em! Frustrating.

  9. nursemyra – she’s ok. scary? a little bit… they’re always your kids…

    renalfailure – i’ve never had it happen, but have witnessed a few. it’s like an avalanche… the more anxious you get about your heart exploding, the worse it gets. bad do-loop…

    mstngsal – the scariest part? she was also lightheaded, and the trip to WebMD hinted that she could have been near-death with those symptoms. very scary. fucking internet….

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