Yesterday was moving day. My children had been sharing an apartment near their university for a year, and it was time to excavate a years worth of shit and prepare for the road ahead. The Boy has a new place nearby, as he’ll be continuing in school. The Girl is consolidating her belongings and moving back in with me as she continues her job search.
i hate moving. With every ounce of my soul. Since neither of them are old enough to rent an appropriate vehicle, and we don’t know anyone with a big truck*, my primary function was to be renting the truck. The Boy arranged to have some of his friends help with the heavy lifting, and The Girl had a friend pitch in as well.
i was still concerned that i might actually have to lift something we would be short handed.
daisyfae: Have you told your dad when you’re moving? He could come down to help…
The Girl: [cringes]
The Boy: No. He’d bring R**. She’s a bitch.
daisyfae: Yeah, but she’d help move shit. If for no other reason, to make me look lazy.
The Boy: Mom, no offense, but you’re pretty crazy. But R? She’s fucking insane.
daisyfae: C’mon. i can use the blog-fodder.
The Boy: You want something to blog about? How about I just go take a shit on your living room rug. The dog will eat it, and you’ll have plenty of blog material***.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* Huge downside to hangin’ with theater people. They drive Yugos and Ford Festivas. The ones with cash? Bunch of eco-weenies with hybrids that are smaller than my dog.
** R is my ex-husbands live-in girlfriend. She helped with moving last year. She was helpful, but creepy. i gave her points for showing up… and left town so the kids could have a nice dinner with the ex and R. Apparently? She really hates me, and it was an uncomfortable dinner…
*** hey. lookit that. found a post in it anyway!
Trailer Park Refugee 
laughing, eco-weenies with hybrids, i’m gonna use that term one day. charming family.. cant imagine anyone would hate you.
Many moons ago I splurged and paid professional movers to schlep my stuff from one tiny New York apartment in a 4th floor walk-up to another tiny New York apartment (albeit, with an elevator). On moving day, I never broke a sweat. That was it. I drank from the cup. I’ll never move myself again. [By the way, the movers are called Schlepper’s. Truly.]
How about I just go take a shit on your living room rug.
true confessions?
…and here all along you’ve been blaming the dog…
Daiseyfae,
I have TWO trucks! Just say the word.
She hates you? Based on …? I don’t get that kind of insecurity.
I get why she hates you… Wait what, I’m just kidding, or am I?
Nice of the boy though to offer the material.
Of course you found a post in it 🙂
lynn – can’t take credit for that. first read that in an essay by PJ O’Rourke… but it fits. loves my theater folk, but daaaaaay-um, they can be flakes!
unbearable banishment – i hired ‘two men and a truck’, but had so much shit it was ‘four men and two trucks’. very nice to contract it out, but i still did a lot of my own lifting… just sheer volume of shit. with the college students? they have friends. they can move their own shit.
gnukid – hadn’t occurred to me, but now that you mention it?
kevinjohn – maybe in a couple years when the boy vacates his new digs. it’s a 3rd floor walkup. the sofa? going off the balcony. i’m sure it’ll be well beyond utility in another two years!
annie – exactly. her insecurity, and her own experience with a bad divorce. on the bright side? my ex is a good human, and deserves to be adored. she just shows her adoration by barking at him and being jealous of an ex-wife who honestly wouldn’t try to steal him back if he suddenly looked like john cusack and won the lottery…
alex – she loves him enough to think he’s a fine catch, and that i must have been crazy to ever let him go. i’m thinkin’ that’s a bit of allright for him, innit?
nursemyra – well, i’ve certainly written about less! 🙂
so,…… kinda quiet in the trailer park today. is everyone hung over or out back hanging their clothes on the line? how bout you get that butt of yours in the trailer and crank out a post for the nice visitors?
~or not~
lynn – anything but quiet in these parts… just no time to write. i’m not a ‘daily’ person at the moment. write when i need to, and can find the time. between work, kids, extended family, trying to beat my body into shape – and the pesky rehearsal schedule from at least 7-9:30 every single night? i’m whipped… may catch a break tomorrow night…
i was just messin’ up your hair, no offense….
no problem! i used to write daily, but life has gotten on top of me, squatting firmly and having its way with me at the moment! feel free to mess up my hair!
That’s a smart lad…sometimes it must be like looking in the mirror.
uncle keith – he’s very smart. just a bit underdamped sometimes. perhaps a bit like his old lady…
every time i hear about the yugo, i think of leslie pluhar from michigan. as she drove across the mighty mackinac bridge, she had the unfortunate experience of having her yugo lifted upward by gale force winds and set down on the water 150 feet below.
tell your theatre friends not to drive across bridges.
dave – whoa. will pass along those words of wisdom… when i hear “yugo”, i am reminded of the character from The Simpsons, who is very tall and drives a tiny car. He says “Are you making fun of my automobile” or some such thing…