community service, sk8r style

After a long day, i arrived home after 10 pm last night to find The Boy, The Girl and one of her friends relaxing on the back deck.  Having been on the fly for several weeks, it was a relatively rare opportunity for me to catch up with happenings in their world… and was a nice pre-bedtime break from life.

The Boy offered up the highlight of his day…

The Boy:  I helped a brother out today at the skate park. 

daisyfae:  Have you learned how to set broken bones?

The Boy:  Some kid, maybe about fifteen, had left his cell phone there.  I had picked it up and was trying to figure out who it belonged to when the guy called.  He asked me to hang onto it til he got back.

daisyfae:  Nice of you…

The Boy:  So in the meantime, Sam and I went through his text messages.  He seemed pretty hot and heavy for some chick, “Kaitlyn E”.  But he had no game… I mean seriously, “Do you like movies?”  What kind of lame pick up line is that?  So we decided to help him out.

daisyfae: [turns back, grabs head, starts banging it against wall] Oh, shit… you didn’t?

The Boy:  Sure we did!  Sent her a text that said “Hey, What’s up, girl?” and started texting with her…  Got her to agree to go out with him to a movie.  So the guy shows up, just as we sent the last text.  Handed him his phone and said “Hey, you may have plans for Friday night.  Check your phone…” and left…

daisyfae:  Aw, christ… was that really necessary?

The Boy:  Mom, the kid was LAME.  He’d tried to get her to go out with him before, but she blew him off, saying she had plans with some guy, Dave.  So he writes back “Dave’s cool…. he’s a good guy”.  Seriously.  A guy with game would have written “Dave?  He was hanging with Kaitlyn F. last I heard” or something like that. 

daisyfae: ‘night [wanders inside, goes directly to bed…]

19 thoughts on “community service, sk8r style

  1. That’s funny! Read it to Edie and she thought it was funny.

    “It’s funny to go through text messages,” she said.

    I’ve been planning to post some texts that I received a while back until some pot head figured out that my number didn’t belong to “Spencer”.

    Some funny shit.

  2. If you think about it from a dude’s perspective, they are like super heroes. If it was within my power, I’d give them the Congressional Medal of Honor, or something.

  3. I think I’ll join you in bed Daisy ……….. so to speak of course ….. oh dear, this could look sooo bad …….. where’s the delete button? ……….. dammit that was the ‘send’ button …….. doomed, I tell you, doomed …….

  4. oh man, that is priceless. A teen sitcom should write that up and make it an episode, or a movie. Better yet, YOU write it up and cash in, baby. Like a moderned-up Cyrano De Bergerac (or a modern-moderned-up Roxanne). Because in these times the social equivalent of a big schnozz is having “no game”. Indeed.

  5. I always thought one of the biggest challenges of parenthood for me would have been trying to be parental when the kids were showing some game. I would hope that the “I’m going to bed” response would occur to me in this situation.

  6. casey – i’ll ship The Boy out as guest instructor. he’s smart, got a sharp tongue and that air of “i really don’t give a shit” confidence that both amuses and terrifies me….

    ~m – i needed it that night as well… i was the foundation for the kids for many years, but now? they are starting to really shore me up as well…

    rob – “Spencer”? looking forward to that… for some reason, i am reminded of the old Cheech and Chong schtick “dave’s not here…”

    renalfailure – could i have been impregnated by Tag Larkin? Although i’m quite certain i’ve never exchanged body fluids with him, perhaps i sat in a chair he’d recently vacated. A man that powerful could knock me up just with his butt heat…

    nursemyra – if my son became a character in Renal Failure’s Neighborhood? i might have to reconsider this whole bloggin’ thing… scary folk there…

    uncle keith – my son says the kid probably texted her back and told her that his phone had been hijacked. he was apparently THAT lame. from the story i was told, though, The Boy and his sidekick felt pretty damn heroic…

    DP – great. just great. bring all of those stinkin’ man flu germs over here, spew them on my linens, then hop back across the pond… no thanks…

    mstngsal – makes me want to password protect my phone, it does. if the little bastard did it to a stranger at the skatepark? would he ever do it to his old lady? scary, scary thought…

    stephanie – i think you’re right! kids these days don’t even know what passing notes is all about… spoiled little whippersnappers… HEY! YOU! GET OFFA MY LAWN!

    chris – it was harder when they were younger. we busted The Boy for loansharking his older sister when he was five. “Can I borrow five dollars?” “Sure, just pay me back ten next week”. Hard not to laugh your ass off at that…

  7. is there still room in the awesome 101 class? because i feel like i’ve been throwing out some game, but no takers. le sigh.

  8. alex – i dunno if it’s worth much. talks a good game, but spends a lot of time watching tv on my sofa…

    mimi – welcome to the park! casey is awesome. and i’m sure, with his degree in Awesomeness, he can teach it…

    daisymae – i think casey needs an overflow class… i could use a little awesome these days, too. sometimes we all hit dry spells i reckon…

    DP – yes. i mean “no”. i mean “yes, that was a no”. oh, crap. don’t you have work in the garden?

  9. that is smooth. i would think of doing something like this… several years after i had the opportunity.

    although… we did have some fun at someone’s expense awhile back. had just gotten a new phone and, apparently, the previous owner did not let his drunken friends know that his # had changed. so we would always answer texts by saying “dude i am at THIS bar tonite”. we would get messages back the next day asking “dude where were you?”

    teehee. have to grab these opportunities where you can. “the boy” is good.

  10. casey – i may have to sign up as well. i am in need of some mondo-awesome at the moment.

    dave – Love it! and the proper response would have been “you missed it, dude! we had just left with a drunken bachelorette party! man… good times…”

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