As if i didn’t have enough going on at the moment, i endured another round with Buzzy McTwatprobe this afternoon*. In my continued quest to hang onto my girlbits, supplied as OEM** parts, it was off for another ultrasound. During the pre-procedure preparation, the technician went over my medical history, asking questions about pregnancies, birth control and surgeries.
While listing my hoo hoo-related operations, i told her of the sterilization*** procedure i embraced in 1999. Having spent enough time with medical professionals over the last decade to earn an honorary MD, i’m pretty clinical in such matters, listing my procedures by title and date (in reverse chronological order).
daisyfae: Two C-sections, 1986 and 1988. Tubal Ligation, 1999….
Twat Tech [interrupting]: Hold on, that was “Tubal Litigation“?
daisyfae: Yes. Exactly…
* Despite rampant urban legends to the contrary, she did not, in fact, find testicles. Large, brass or otherwise…
** “OEM” = “Original Equipment Manufacturer” for the non-motorhead reader.
*** Tubal Ligation, known as ‘having the tubes tied”. Not willing to leave it to chance, i not only asked for them to be tied, i asked my doc to “cut, tie, clamp, cauterize, staple and superglue the god damned things shut”.