Breaking News: Stupidity Outbreak at Atlanta Airport

From the “I could not make this shit up files”:

Killing time during a 3 hour layover at the Atlanta airport.  The drunken yabs sillier folks from the SCUBA posse have encamped in the Samuel Adams brewpubbery on Concourse C. 

While continuing our ridiculous alcohol abuse having a relaxing dinner, i was coveting the pub table near the electrical outlet.  As soon as the gentlemen at the table left, i scooted in that direction and plugged in both my cell phone and the power cord on the laptop.

Within a minute of settling in, i was approached by a management-like-object.  i was informed that i could not use the two outlets.  The policy of the establishment was to block off the outlets to prevent transmission of viruses into their system.

Drunk Confused, i repeated her statement back to her – loud enough that my compatriots (and half the people in the bar) could hear:  “Let me make sure i understand this, you don’t let people use this electrical outlet to make sure that you don’t get viruses downloaded into your system?”

She affirmed that this was indeed the case. 

Many astonished glances from the folks nearby… and with a straight face i unplugged both electrical cords. 

Fuck swine flu, folks.  We have bigger problems in the ol’ United States of America…

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32 thoughts on “Breaking News: Stupidity Outbreak at Atlanta Airport

  1. um…welllll….uhh…(speechless…..even without a college degree you would think that some form of common sense would some how prevail)

  2. Well, then you’re one lucky woman that she told you in the nick of time! Lord knows you don’t want to get viruses from that outlet. HA! And she thought she was protecting her establishment!

    I guess a welcome home is in order?

    Welcome home! Where are the pictures?

  3. I bet she cannae drive a stick shift, has been ‘prodded’ by aliens, and believes that sitting on toilet seats can make you preggers.

    I’m sure you left a big tip for Ms Jobsworth when you left.

  4. Everyone knows that the aliens can get into your devices via outlets and light sockets. Duh. Glad you had a great trip.

  5. You should have told this woman that it was okay, you were using condoms. Then again, she could have been one of those abstinence-only people when it comes to electrical outlets.

  6. silverstar – who knows? she may have had an MBA… managing a restaurant at an airport?

    unbearable banishment – i think it’s not a geographic anomaly… stupid is running at pandemic levels…

    archie – no, but i suppose really bad hair with a perpetual “i smell excrement” facial expression is somehow worse…

    hisqueen – i was mostly stumped because she apparently ignored the man who had been sitting there for a full hour before me, happily plugged into the outlet… it wasn’t a low outlet, but midway up the wall… weird…

    tigereyesal – to prevent people from using the outlet, she (or other brilliant managers) had taped a piece of paper over it. taping paper over an electrical outlet. that just doesn’t seem right, now does it?

    fragrant liar – i felt much safer. and stopped spending money at their bar – in case they had other viral issues… pics later… still excavating the contents of my bags (not a euphemism…)

    jimmy – she seemed sincere. i was polite (but astonished). we did tip our waiter rather handsomely… he was a gem, and obviously has to work in less-than-ideal conditions…

    mstng – didn’t let it ruin my trip, that’s for damn sure… if you let stupid get in the way, then you’ll never have fun. best to point, laugh and move along…

    sassy miss p – at $7/beer? not exactly cheap, that’s for damn sure… beer sticker shock after drinking $1.50/bottle all week…

    steve – hopefully she’s not a breeder…

    tysdaddy – what? straightening the cord doesn’t speed it up? who knew? honestly, i was too incredulous to do anything other than put my cords away like a good little traveler…

    renalfailure – wasn’t thinking fast enough. could have pointed to the surge protector on the cord and say it was full of electro-antibiotics….

    rob – after leaving, did have a brief twinge of “hmmm…”. but BPL hasn’t really taken hold enough to be that common. besides? why would only the bar take measures to protect outlets, when every other freakin’ outlet in the airport was wide open and subjected to dirty computers? i think she was pissed that the paper cover had been pulled back – but the guy before me. i even put it back, smoothed the tape and (while shaking my head) thanked her for letting me know the risks…

  7. OMG. What a load of horseshit.

    The least the idiots that own the bar that charge $5/beer +tip would be to allow patrons to use a little of their juice without giving them a BS story.
    Welcome back home.
    A good reason I don’t go to bars.

    (I just get drunkbuzzed at home).

  8. Hahahaha, what a legend. Maybe they were just having a competition to see who could annoy the customers the most. Working in an airport bar has to be pretty gee how do I put this gently… FUCKING BALL TEARINGLY SHIT, without some sort of distraction. I pray she wasn’t serious… for the sake of humanity, she can’t have been serious.

  9. sandy – welcome to the park, you wise ol’ pup! if it weren’t for the suckers, assholes and idiots, where would civilization be? oh… right…

    kevinjohn – it was $7 for a 20 oz beer… did not include tip, shoe shine or happy ending… we was ass raped…

    alex – she was as serious as a heart attack. i watched to see if she was joking… if she didn’t want me to use the outlet, all she had to say was “don’t use the outlet”. granted, i’d have whined a little, but if she were smart, she could have said “it’s defective – has a pesky tendency to fry cute little computers and phones…” and i’d have joyfully left the outlet unviolated…

    nursemyra – didn’t even think about that angle… there were cameras in the ceiling, or i’d have re-plugged as soon as she walked away…

    dave – it’s ok. i farted all over the chair. outgassing and all…

  10. She obviously recognized you from your blog, and was afraid you might engage in some cybersex which could set juices flyin throughout the establishment. I think in light of that concern you can understand the policy.

  11. The “viruses” may not have been downloaded into their establishment due to their papery firewall, but it sounds like “the stupid” has infected that location at a dangerous level.

  12. rassles – nope. maybe a pylon…

    uncle keith – damn! why didn’t i realize that? oh, right… i was drunk…

    sweetlifeconfidential – it’s not my favorite. seem to spend a lot of time waiting, changing gates, waiting more, changing gates, sitting on the tarmac… ugh…

    uncle keith – you are a comic master… a true genius…

    squirrel queen – stupid is truly pandemic…

  13. I worked the night shift in an all night gas station one time (long story). It was an 8’x10′ box on the side of the road, and still there were office politics and power plays and disputes over who was in charge of cigarette counting and all of the stupid shit that happens in every office. You must have crossed the pub Security Officer.

  14. chris – hadn’t looked at it that way… shame one of the underlings didn’t bring me a bootleg power strip or something to undermine the bosslady…

  15. Actually, there are ways to transmit internet signals over 110V electrical lines. It is not common, but it can be done. It is a bit of a stretch to think that is how their system is wired and if it is, why it is. For those of you saying things about the south, I’m from the south and apparently know something you don’t (am an engineer also). Still, it does seem ridiculous. Cheers, going there tomorrow. Don’t know how I ended up here, but thought you should know.

  16. Welcome, Bill M – suspect you stumbled in while searching on Google for info regarding bars in the Atlanta airport! A prior commenter brought up the possibility of BPL, but given airports are supposed to be somewhat “secure”, and that this is such a new concept, it is highly doubtful that bubble-head manager lady was right. i don’t think folks were particularly bashing southern intellect, just the stupidity of this particular manager… some of my best friends are engineers from the southlands!

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