Last weekend, i dropped in on a rather festive event… Following the premiere of a locally produced film, the after-party was held at a club downtown. My friend, joey london (engineer, artist, DJ and eclectician extraordinaire) invited me to join the mash up. Seems the best dance DJ in the area had planned a special treat, and joey guaranteed it’d be worth the trip.
It was a combination DJ (house/techno), live horn and percussion section on stage, and members of the local contemporary dance company joining forces for a massive throw down! i went solo, figuring i’d meet up with friendly faces at the club. The performance? A complete marvel… the dancers were athletic, creative and gorgeous! The music? i couldn’t sit still!
At the end of the show, the dancers dragged us onto the floor for an ‘all skate’, and i hit it hard! Danced my way through the crowd, hip-hopping with the hip-hoppers and going pogo-rific with the punks! Fifteen minutes of sheer physical joy before the set finished and the stage was cleared for the next band.
As i stumbled off the dance floor, mopping the sweat from my head, i heard “Damn, woman! You’ve got some energy!” and turned to see a nice looking young man grinning at me. He offered to buy me a beer, and joined me at my table. By way of honest declaration, i let him know that i’m damn near 50. He didn’t budge… He’s mid-30’s, good looking and athletic.
We talked, and much to my surprise, he was clearly interested in chatting me up. Asked about a boyfriend… i explained that i’m a bit of a ‘free range chicken’. He then surprised me with the following question: “Do you date black men?” i’m not sure why it surprised me. i’d accepted a beer, had offered to let him join me at my table…
He looked a little anxious as i slowly formulated my answer: “i date people. It’s not an issue.”
We continued to chat, agreed to maybe meet up for reggae, i gave him my number, and headed home. Post-processing the conversation, i was still a little befuddled by the question. i guess it makes sense. Figuring he just wanted to get it out there and save himself a potential headache if it wasn’t in the realm of the plausible. And i guess there are plenty of women who accept a beer from someone they clearly have no interest in talking to again*…
i dunno. i thought we were past this… i was a little put off by his relative youth. Not his skin color… Weird…
it's like invisible ink...
* i’ve refused drink offers in bars if it’s simply someone i don’t want to talk to. i think that’s the right thing to do. A friend of mine lives by the credo that “I should drink for free!” and is generally successful… i’ve seen her let all manner of aliens and toothless briars buy her beer. This shit is still a bit of a mystery to me. i suck at dating….
Trailer Park Refugee 
I told my husband you were picking on him. He could sorta make out the first word.
Good for you for mixin’ it up on the dance floor. I loaded and unloaded 42 cartons of hardwood floor the other day and it damn near killed me. I was blowin’ like an old mule.
As for the colour thing, I’d say that – in the midwest – you are the exception and not the rule. But that’s just based on my own experiences and encounters with midwestern folk.
I’ll date a black man. Send him my way when you’ve done daisyfae.
Dasiyfae wanting some boy-candy?
Haven’t most men been rejected enough to sense when women are after the free drinks vs. drinking while conversating.
Oh, wait, they’re men.
It’s interesting that he asked the question. Sounds like a very nice guy . . .
What? Women will accept drinks from men they aren’t interested in? That explains it all. Bitches.
Go, cougar, go!
I’ve been asked that before, too. But that guy was about twenty years older than me and had one leg and had two gold teeth right in front.
Dead serious. His name was Adrian.
So I told him no, I don’t date black men. It was easier than saying I don’t date the crippled, or the toothless, or the creepy. Or the elderly.
You go girl. Toyboys are the way forward!
imeantno – tee hee. been saving that graphic for the right post… it makes me giggle…
rob – i get much more tired working and being useful than i do dancing. and you may be right about that midwest thing… just a little surprising…
nursemyra – still to be determined what’s gonna happen… but if he’s fun, i’d be happy to share!
steve – just living aggressively. and i need to stay on my toes. i AM trying to collect the whole set…
stephanie – sometimes i feel a little sorry for men. they really are so cute when they’re confused…
tysdaddy – seems nice. but he’s been a bit pesky with over-texting. text-sweating desperation is not going to keep my interest…
uncle keith – some. i don’t think it’s cool… now, in new orleans, during mardi gras? it’s all about the beads. i’ve done some horrific things for good beads…
unbearable banishment – Ugh! The “c-word”…. to steal a phrase from silverstar, i’m too old to be a cougar. more of a sabre-toothed tiger!
rassles – whoa. i might have done the same thing…. i might have been able to deal with the one-legged thing. but i guess that rules out dancing…
cat – the best thing about this approach? if one annoys me – i can call up one from the bench. life is good. they don’t seem to mind… makes them work harder, being all competitive and all…
You can’t suck too bad at dating if you have a whole bench. You don’t suck at half what you think you do. Sucking at dating usually means you can’t get a date wearing the diamond bikini Nurse Myra had a while back. I think you could get a date wearing a burka, just because you are so outgoing.
“Do you date black men?”
“Do YOU?”
Silverstar where did you find that crazy video? and why was the announcer talking about frank sinatra at the end?
silverstar – love.the.video. holeeeee crap… i wanna be in a burka band! no need to shave or put on make up. that part where they’re showing their fingertips? sexy, sexy, sexy… rockin’ the sandbox!
ginny – i’ll pretty much go out with anyone once. there are several non-starter “deal breakers”, though: bad (or missing) teeth, massive back hair (the kind that looks like a mullet up the neck? brrr…), stoooopid are the top three… skin color isn’t on the list. unless it’s a ‘spray-on tan’ orange. don’t do Oooompa Loooompahs….
nursemyra – that is one messed up video! i loved it!
once you have black, you never go back!
Well, the NAACP thinks I’m black. I say that because they sent me a survey in the mail once. I wish I still had it. But I did keep the certificate The American Legion sent me saying I was a veteran during wartime and thus could join their organization.
@Nurse Myra-It popped up on a Google search for burka. I have way too much time on my hands.
Bb – i don’t have that kind of attention span…. hey look! there’s a shiny pretty boy over there!
renalfailure – i get shit from the National Rifle Association. that’s just funny… French Foreign Legion would be just a bit cooler…
silverstar – ahhh… the internet. how did we waste time before?
Isn’t dancing just for the joy of it the best?
As for the color issue, he may have been led on previously by someone who was ok with being friends, but not cool with a romantic relationship for whatever illogical reason.
Now, I’d love to comment on the Blue Burka video but I’m speechless.
squirrel queen – i’m perhaps at my happiest when i’m dancing… nothing quite like it! will find out more about this gent – we’re going to meet up again, and maybe i’ll get some insight.