one day – snippets

From 0600 yesterday morning, until 0100 this morning… Random moments…

– Multitasking:  It isn’t easy to do all of the following things at the same time — Walk 100lbs of dogmeat.  Carry an umbrella in moderate wind.  Smoke a cigarette.  Stay dry in a drenching rain.  Pick up warm dog turds in a plastic bag.  Avoid setting hair on fire.  Refrain from cursing.

– First Law of Human Physics:  Scientists entrenched in a narrow area of research, tend to resist all attempts to gently guide them into new areas of research.  The Daisyfae Corollary:  A management-like-object attempting to redirect a team of such scientists tends to get massive, soul-crushing headaches – and actively seek alternate employment.

– Condo Association Meeting:  Old people like flower bulbs – obsessively it seems.  They want to plant them with reckless abandon.  Many of them have no comprehension, however, that it is unnecessary to repeatedly bring up this topic of discussion while the minutes from last years meeting are being read.  i may have to offer remedial lessons on “Robert’s Rules of Order”.  i shall carry a taser next year.

– Theater People and Birthday Celebrations:  There are simply no better people to play with on a birthday* than theater folks.  And while “karaoke” is Japanese for “you sing bad”, theater people will rock the fucking house!   Until 0100 on a Monday night!

– Song Selection:  It is often the unexpected that captures the attention of the crowd at a karaoke event.  For example, the alternative boy, tattooed, pierced and punked up who sang a lovely rendition of “Wonderful World” made me happy.  As did the emo-boy who did “Ring of Fire”, then “I Can’t Help It If I’m Still In Love With You” (Hank Williams, Sr.).  Suppose that a middle-aged suburban housefrau doing both “Thunder Road” (The Boss) and “All These Things That I’ve Done” (The Killers) was perhaps a tad unexpected (except by the folks who know me).

– Love Shack:  Requires dancing.  If you can sit still through that song, you are very nearly dead. 

– Aging Gracefully:  Not.  Damn, this morning came awful early…

holy shit.  i didn't even see the train...

holy shit. i didn't even see the train...

* Except maybe strippers, drunk clowns and midgets dressed in cowboy costumes.  This, by the way, is how The Boy plans to spend his 21st birthday next year.

17 thoughts on “one day – snippets

  1. Old people like flower bulbs – obsessively it seems. They want to plant them with reckless abandon.
    I just can’t stop laughing at this.
    The ‘Taser’ comment put me over the edge.
    They need signs that say, “Don’t Tase me, Bro”
    Still laughing . . .
    Thanks so much for stopping by.
    You were on my list last night but I just didn’t make it.
    Take care, kiddo

    michael – thank you very much! always enjoy it when i can make someone giggle!

  2. My wife + Love Shack = effervescent lunacy.

    She refuses to grow up . . .

    tysdaddy – she’s a smart (and apparently energetic) lady! with good taste in men!

  3. I only ever did karaoke once in my life — “Send In The Clowns.” at a political fundraiser. There was a subliminal message there that nobody got.

    Bulbs are the one kind of flower than I can’t kill, but I try not to talk about it in public meetings.

    sledpress – great choice for politics! and i loves my bulbs, too – and intend to plant them with reckless abandon this fall. but i’ll be sure to pester the members of the board relentlessly before i do, just so i can be like the other residents!

  4. Karaoke is my life. It’s so twisted and sad.

    But it sounds absolutely perfect, birthday-wise.

    rassles – there are always those ‘cringe-a-rific’ moments, where you heart just squeezes for someone. but it’s not how you sing, it’s THAT you sing. ok. sometimes, it IS how you sing… but we cheer anyway!

  5. My birthday consisted of me and a backpack about fifty miles from the paved road laying naked on a rock. It was its own sort of hedfonism. Then I came back and had to ‘party.’


    As far as karaoke, I can make it through The Animal’s version of House of the Rising Sun and Roadhouse Blues. Then I just get belligerent, usually because karaoke requires a bourbon IV.

    casey – naked rock celebrations may be in my future… sounds very hippie. right up my alley! i was doing a jack daniels infusion myself that night…

  6. Yep. What a day! How old are you again? 29?

    rob – wasn’t my birthday, those are usually pretty quiet, as i tend not to celebrate my own. but it was big fun at the end of a rather frustrating day!

  7. Holy Christ.. all this during the working week? The weekends must be mental.. I’m envious.

    jimmy – not DURING the work week, but on a MONDAY night. Ouch, ouch, and double ouch. The weekends are often rather mental. my goal is to speedball to the finish line. while i still can!

  8. It wasn’t her birthday. God help us when her birthday rolls around. I expect arrests for indecent exposure, then. Especially if she found something “special” in Seattle.

    My favorite song to sing at karaoke is “Joy to the World”, and I don’t mean the Xmas carol. Fortunately, I don’t drink anymore, and so haven’t done karaoke for a long time. With me karaoke really does mean “you sing bad.”

    silverstar – didn’t find anything in the ‘novelty’ shop next to the hotel in seattle, but i’ve got plenty in stock for future parties! i try to do up-tempo stuff, and “joy to the world” could be a very fun one to try sometime!

  9. I don’t do karaoke. Even after half a dozen Old Grand Dads I could not be convinced that infecting the rest of the room with my voice. However I agree about theatre people and fun! I need more of both in my life. btw, are those daffodilly people also “nodding dog in the rear car window” people as well?

    archie – even karaoke people need groupies! can never have too many! my daffodilly theater folk are the ones with the best bumperstickers (often holding their cars together), most spectacularly dressed/costumed and more fun in public places than anyone on the planet. suspect there are a few ‘nodding dogs’ in the bunch, too!

  10. Im officially middle age and refuse to grow up at least in the music taste department as well. Love the Killer s song you mentioned AND LOVE SHACK. Even if you hate that song at first it grows on you.

    stacy – i credit my daughter for keeping me plugged into new music. she prescribed “the killers” when i was in a blue funk during the divorce… that, and scissor sisters!

  11. again that’s like a week worth of stuff right there…….I did laundry today and cooked dinner…..huzzah!

    that was it….awesome day

    manuel – i’ve got to keep my weekdays a little more mellow. been a bitch of a week. massive sleep deficit and building…

  12. I use to be Treasurer for my condo association when I lived in the city. I wanted to absconded with the kitty and head to Atlantic City.

    Brag alert: A long time ago I saw the B52’s at Radio City Music Hall and sat right behind Joe Jackson. Worth every penny!

    unbearable banishment – i will likely become involved in the association. it’s probably my best hope to avoid getting in trouble… would LOVE to have seen the 52’s live! damn, damn, damn!

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