For those of you playing along at home, you’ll remember that daisyfae is awful at decorating. i moved into my new place in late August, but waited until January to even buy furniture for the living room – because i was counting on The Girl to help pick things out, and she was off in Beirut for fall term.
Vacuum Chamber
After she’d helped procure seating/tables, she offered to have a friend – trained in visual arts – put together a color palette so i could buy pillows. And actual shit for the walls! Woo hoo! a Color Palette! Prepared by another professional! Feeling my ovaries, for sure!
This week, i bravely started to deploy Phase II of my Certified Color Strategy. With a bottle of wine propelling me forward, i put a glaze/paint on the wall above the fireplace! Much to my complete and total amazement, it looks ok. This isn’t that hard… just develop a plan, and stick to it. Better yet, have the plan developed for you…
The Girl and her friend apparently had taken some time over the weekend to work up my design suggestions. Unbeknownst to me, she had taken a ‘boring’ shot of my living room on her last visit to town for a dental appointment.
Early American Asylum
Rather than just provide suggested colors, they worked up a collection of colors and decorative items that makes me anxious to get on with it all! And i’m thinkin’ that Mr. Pickles the Wonder Dog is pretty happy as well… Although why he’s not upset that Gollum has taken up residence on the deck is of some concern…
Come on 'a my house, come on a come on...
They’ve cleverly taken a page from my favorite source of decorating and entertaining advice, Ms. Amy Sedaris’ I Like You: Hospitality Under The Influence. Brilliant…
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* Sorry. You ‘soft porn’ pervs looking for college-aged boobies are out of luck… Go back to surfing for “girl scout porn”. You people are messed up. Because of this post, i get at least 3-5 hits a week from some sock-stuffer looking for “girl scouts fucking”, “girl scouts naked” or worse… yeah, i know. i’m the one who defiled the uniform. glass houses and all that…
Trailer Park Refugee 
And these are the reasons I love your blog more than candy.
You gonna give me an apple an a plum? Eh?
Just what the hell does that mean, anyway? That song is fraught with metaphors.
Brag alert: Many (many!) years ago I was in a writing workshop at the Upper West Side YMCA of Manhattan with Amy’s brother David Sedaris. You’ll never meet a nicer, funnier guy. There were about seven people in the class and he had more talent than everybody in the room combined. Including the instructor.
I’m coming over . . . that couch looks like it’s most comfortable . . .
Dogs Playing Poker
It doesn’t get any better than that!
A ball gown, a roast turkey and a pair of rubber gloves – what else could a girl possibly need?
Hey girl, it looks cool, but where are the girl scouts fucking, isn’t that what Early American Asylum is all about?
Love Mr. Pickles in the top hat and tails. Good job on the Photoshop, too. Although I am sure that the dogs playing poker picture is authentic.
Nurse M beat me to it! My house decor theme is “clutter chic”…i.e. it takes twenty minutes to negotiate from the front door to the lounge through all the stuff. I love it.
newscoma – thank you… and be careful about ‘strangers with candy’…
unbearable banishment – i was thinking i’d give you candy. the song is dirty. filthy dirty, but i have no idea what any of it means… just that rosemary puts out. i LOVE david sedaris. my muse. he makes me happy, and has on more than one occasion, made me cry…
tysdaddy – wipe your feet, and come on in! the couch was intended to be a ‘flop space’, and it works well… dog-proof leather.
rob – i hadn’t considered the print until i saw this, but you know? it sort of works!
nursemyra – she’s wearing ‘sprinkles’ in one of the photos in the back! you’d look lovely frosted, and wearing sprinkles – sitting on the end table. probably hard to see in this photo. perhaps a ‘candy friday’ some day?
Bb – they’re on the dining room table. Just out of camera range… i’ll work on the 360 viewer…
silverstar – i think the tap dancing dog is my favorite. i might have put him in heels, but it turns out they didn’t spend all that much time on this. gollum took the most time, apparently. about 5 minutes… and i might track down a ‘poker dogs’ print. it just works…
dolce – it’ll take me awhile, but the clutter shall occur. with the big ol’ ceilings, it may take decades til i reach the ceiling, though…
Looks similar to my place – ubiquitous beige. Its easier for me though as I’m not one to choose colors – besides I have a tendency to color outside of the lines ….. Be well & good cheers !
Stylish. All that’s missing is the crystal chandelier.
I’d like to hire Mr. Pickles for my next cocktail party.
I came for the “girl scouts fucking” but I stayed for the profanity and sacrilege.
ummm…what’s that on the floor between Mr. Pickles and the chair? does it require batteries? just wondering, that’s all…
Only Gnu would spot something like that. Yes, it requires batteries, it’s a remote. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Wow, now that’s the way to dress up a room without spending a fortune. Lovely decor, my dear, and who could accomplish so much in so short a time without Miss Amy? She is probably weirded out though by the guy on the coffee table staring at her boobs with that absorbed, zoned out look on his face. I’d watch that one.
I’m not sure why I find Amy Sedaris attractive, but I’m ok with it.
Damn it! What is all this? I came here looking for some hot scout action.
Girl Scouts? Where? I need to order some peaunt butter cookies.
Love what you’ve done with the place, but , as a very particular man the place needs a large screen TV, a Lazy Boy, and a Cooler (for the beer) next to it by the fireplace.
Thank me later, I’ll send you the bill.
WTG – the ivory/beige wasn’t my first thought. i wanted chocolate brown to match the dog. but my daughter, and a few of my more artsy/craftsy friends, suggested keeping the room sunny and light with something less… um… brown….
kyknoord – the chandelier is in the bedroom. next to the swing and cage…
stephanie – much like the warner brothers frog, he will never do his tap dancing routine in front of other people. i’m amazed that The Girl got the shot… must have used a hidden camera.
uncle keith – i do what i can… here… have a cookie…
gnu – it’s a nylabone. that would be a dog toy, not to be confused with any other sort of ‘nylabone’ that you can think of. perv…
silverstar – close, but it was a doggie toy. farther back in the pic is a ‘pelt’ from Mr. Pickles’ christmas present. he chews the stuffing out of his critters, then continues to play with the pelt for months. blechh…
fragrant liar – i love Ms. Amy. for an audition once, i did a monologue from a play she wrote… which started “Isn’t the sky beautiful tonight? You can see Orion, Cassiopia… and there’s the tip of Feces!”
alex – because she makes you laugh! oh, and then there’s the cupcakes and roast chicken… what’s not to love?
stan – Welcome to The Park! just a little corner of the interweb where i strangle my demons. mostly… the girl scouts are on the dining room table.
kevinjohn – nice that all you want are there cookies! most of the pervs who stumble in are looking for girl-scout-on-girl-scout video. bastards… Oh, and you’ve described The Man
TrapCave, which is downstairs… having a wet bar built, including a wall tap for the brewskis…dogs playing poker eh……..the finest bit of art since the lady tennis player scratching her bum….
Someday i’ll have a house that looks like that!
manuel – i’m trying to find the sofa-sized version. the girls didn’t realize how much i’d like it! silly girls…
raptureponies – welcome to the park! i have a terribly short attention span. you can have this one in a couple weeks… wanna trade?