Sock? Meet Mr. Doorknob…

When not slaving away in school, The Boy (now 20) spends a lot of time in the Barbie Party Cave.  And usually, he brings a pesky sk8r boy infestation along with him.  We pretty much do our own thing, and he’s learned how to stay out from underfoot*, but there have been recent incidents that highlight our changing circumstances…

~~~~~

Incident 1:  The Boy has been reliable about getting the trash collected and out to the curb on Sunday nights.  This is a good thing, as most of the trash is generated by his troop as they wear down the felt of my pool table, fart on my couch and assure that my downstairs theater room reeks of “Eau de Sk8r Punk”.

One recent Sunday, he arrived home around 10pm to take care of this duty – accompanied by one of his female friends.  Unfortunately, he’d failed to follow our recently established protocol and call/text to let me know he’d be returning.  And i failed to remember it was Sunday night…

As he came in through the garage door, i was sitting on the couch with a friend.  We were debating the merits of rearranging the living room furniture – arguing about life, the universe and tapestry placement while swilling beer.  i was wearing my jammies, and my friend was clad in his boxers.  My legs were draped across his lap, and his long legs perched on the coffee table. 

To someone entering the house from the garage – as The Boy just had – it certainly would appear as though my friend was naked.  Heading down the stairs, frantically averting his eyes, The Boy mentioned that it might be nice for me to have sent a text, letting him know i was ‘entertaining’… He kept mumbling as he went down the stairs. 

His admonishment continued as he came back upstairs, hauling trash – while facing the wall.  He proceeded to remind me once again that i could have shown the courtesy of sending a text… keeping his back to us from the kitchen the entire time.

Later that evening, i sent a text.

daisyfae:  He was wearing boxers!  Sorry about that.  He offered to stand up to show you – thought better of that.

The Boy:  That’s ok.  Don’t really expect to come home and find a naked Irishman on the couch.  Text msg works.

~~~~~

Incident 2:  Returning late from a business trip, i found The Boy and his friends playing pool and drinking beer downstairs.  After recovering from my shock**, i was introduced to a new member of the tribe, Amber.  i excused myself for bed, reminding The Boy that the party needed to get quiet, since i have this pesky “job thing” to deal with starting at 0600 every morning… They got quiet.  i passed out.

The next morning, i went downstairs to reboot the home electronics system.  i noticed an extra pair of  shoes outside the door of the downstairs bedroom.  Girl shoes.  Next to a pair belonging to The Boy.  When we crossed paths later that evening, i casually commented about Amber staying over…

The Boy:  It wasn’t Amber

daisyfae:  Who was it?

The Boy:  Nunia…

daisyfae: Nunia?  Who’s Nunia?

The Boy:  Nunia Business…

~~~~~

i suppose we could revert to the ol’ “sock on the door”.  Or something much less subtle, like this.  Thinking i gotta get me one of those gizmos…

Sock it to me, baby...
Sock it to me, baby…

* Survival skills are strong in both of my sprogs… Reading my mood has saved lives.  Namely theirs….

** Stunned, shocked and amazed to find a pack of young ‘uns playing pool when i came home at 11:30 pm.  Never, ever happens… Unh uh… No way!  Alert the media…

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15 thoughts on “Sock? Meet Mr. Doorknob…

  1. I could live with naked Irishmen on the couch. But I think getting caught by your son must be a bit like trying to date while living with your ex. And of course, children don’t believe their parents have sex, at least not after they were conceived. I like the boy’s answer re: who was staying over.

  2. hahahahahahahah–ooooohhhhh–my sides hurt–really boy came home to that…..I know the feeling–have a 7yrold step son–always afraid of anywhere but the locked bedroom….hubby pointed out we don’t do anything when my 13yr son is here visiting. I know he knows but it makes me feel weird.
    must you tell me ahead of time what they are like when they are older…I would like to be suprised and shocked w/out the aforewarned worry.

  3. stephanie – the evolution of the “parent-child” relationship is NOT something that gets much press in those soft-focus encrusted baby rags on display at the obstetricians office. i just wanted someone to send to college, man… i didn’t sign up for this kinda shit.

    unbearable banisment – i dunno. The Boy never really left that “Disney Princess” obsession stage. It just kinda morphed into something darker, perverted… 🙂

    silverstar – i’ve started to give advance notice of potential “conflicts”. he’s packing up his gear as i type… and still won’t rat out “Nunia’s” true identity…

    rob – you’re right! and i’m definitely not bored… never know what’s going to annoy the shit out of me happen next around here!

    hisqueen – all we’ve ever tried to do is maintain respect for each other as fellow citizens of the household. but now that they technically don’t live here? i’m thinking the rules need to be put out there. i’d never drop in on them unexpectedly, and likewise, they will be unlikely to drop in on me again unexpectedly… at least not after this little incident…

  4. Every kid likes to convince him or herself that their parents aren’t really sexual beings. It’s very difficult to keep up the self-delusion when confronted with an emphatic counter-argument lying on the couch.

  5. Miss P – got ’em. but he’s got a key… but you’ve got me thinking more active countermeasures, though – like a high power microwave perimeter defense system!

    alex – i hope yours are as much fun as mine is! haven’t met sweet little Nunia, but i’m checking out the shoes of every one of the gals he hangs with. i’ll figure it out one of these days….

    kyknoord – he wasn’t lying…. on the bright side? i’d taken off his restraints…

    dolce – very true. when i see sprightly older couples, holding hands in a sex shop? i think it’s beyond adorable, and it gives me hope. if it were my parents? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

  6. Yeah let’s tell the world we’ve had a girl crush on each other ever since our rendezvous in Spain…

    Why should Kyknoord and Dolce have all the fun disclosing….. 🙂

  7. nursemyra – if i could figure out how they do that flashing heart widget, i’d be happy to post one in your honor! but don’t you think this will put uncle keith over the edge? poor guy about had a stroke (*snicker*) when we posted those double corset shots… xx

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