Indecent exposure

A Message To The Workshop Dorkboys, meeting in Fort Myers, Florida:

Seriously.  Dudes… Have you never read Sherlock Holmes?  CLEARLY i’m coming in from the pool, as evidenced by my swimsuit, sandals and sarong.  Never mind that my hair looks like a dust devil surrounding my head…

So, as i come into the lobby and make a beeline for the fucking elevator?  It’s not a good time to say “Hey, do you have a minute to chat about Program X?” 

And you, Dude B?  When you see me backing away from  Dude A, trying to get to the elevator as i’m clutching my sarong around my nekkid shoulders?  This is also NOT A GOOD TIME to introduce yourself and say “Hi, I’m Hieronymus Oblivious from TurdTech, Unlimited… aren’t you daisyfae?  You’re on the panel tonight, right?”

i’m half naked.  i have no make up on my face.  i have hair like a hurricane.  We are in a hotel lobby, teeming with conference dweebs.  i don’t wanna chat… Your sorry ass is between me and the elevator.  Fucking move, alright?

Finally, Dickbreath J. Arrogance.  i hired you.  You have personally witnessed numerous daisyfae-fits over the past 6 years.  You know i have low tolerance for assault in public places.  Standing there – being useless while i try to extract myself from conversation with Dr. Oblivious was bad enough.  Tailing my virtually naked ass to the elevator and asking programmatic advice as i dive on the buttons?  No fucking help, dude…

Slow News Day in Geek Town

Slow News Day in Geek Town

17 thoughts on “Indecent exposure

  1. BLT – thanks. so are you… so i’m told…

    unbearable banishment – touche. i’ve got mild sunburn. i’ll shut the fuck up right about now…

    alex – a tattoo of a douchebag, with the big red circle, and the diagonal line meaning “NO”? probably wouldn’t look that cool. i’ll go for a standard tramp stamp…

  2. They clearly view you as an approachable person. Perhaps the your response should be less verbal and more physical. I’m sure an atomic wedgie or two would get the point across to the nerd herd.

  3. why aren’t you carrying that stun gun i got you for Christmas? oh, wait… they’re nerds… they’d just talk you up about how many volts it kicks out and what capacitor system it uses… okay, secondary advice? mow them down while hollering, “I’m PMS-ing now!” that will scare any sane man…

  4. I am always shocked when women do not realize the obvious. You were half naked, you had no makeup, you just got done with physical activity, and you were wearing a sarong. Of course men want to talk to you. That’s when women are at their most attractive.

    Weird, I know. I don’t understand it either.

  5. nursemyra – gawsh… if i’d known you think i’m cute when i’m mad, i’d have let you see me mad when we last vacationed together… oh… wait… 😉

    kyknoord – Wedgimus Atomicus! Always a good move… just wish i’d have had my wits about me…

    gnu – you’re right… they’d have been comparing the merits of their electrocution to the last time they tried to rebuild the quantum hall effect system and got fried when the water lines popped… (sigh)

    uncle keith – doubt they’d notice. seriously. these kids are hard core…

    annie – if i believed that, i’d be flattered. in fact, they only talk to me because they think i am somehow in a position to help them secure research cash… delusional on my part to think otherwise…

    derek – as i said, ‘perceived access to funding’ is the pheromone that draws them my way…

    dave – i like the way you think. in theory…

    casey – you’re kinky. call me.

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