“Do you like movies about gladiators?”

When i was a kid, we watched “Big Time Wrestling“.  We knew it was fake, and we didn’t care… The current incarnation of this form of entertainment is the Ultimate Fighting Championships, UFC.  The Boy and his friends enjoy this, and i enjoy tormenting them about the obvious homo-eroticism of this particular style of “fighting”.

A quick google image search provides much supporting evidence. 

Nope.  Nothing homoerotic going on here...

Exhibit A: Nope. Nothing homo-erotic going on here...

Nothing but manly men pounding each other silly here...

Exhibit B: Nothing but manly men pounding each other silly here...

But this one?  i’m thinking there’s something a little different going on here…  unfortunately i don’t have the whiteboard handy to diagram this to figure out what that something might be…

Insert Tab A into Slot B.  Repeat as necessary...

Exhibit C: Insert Tab A into Slot B. Repeat as necessary...

Which brings us to a conversation i had with The Boy last night… Due to a temporary malfunction of my home theater/audio system, i am down to one incoming cable TV signal.  So whatever is playing on the tv tube in the theater room, is on the tv tube in my bedroom.  And vice versa.  This has led to some fun between the kids and i – after i accidentally left the channel on a “Born Again Revival” one Sunday morning while The Boy was attempting to sleep in, it’s become a game. 

The Boy was watching a UFC event in the theater room with a friend.  i was preparing to go to bed, and told him i’d be changing the channel shortly… He explained that the match was almost over, so i agreed to tough it out a few minutes.  Couldn’t resist jabbing him, though.  i helpfully pointed out to them both that there was, indeed, an overtly homoerotic tone to this particular “sport”.  Much like the movie “Gladiator” and of course “300“…. This got a visceral response, with both young men saying “Hey, hey, hey there lady – don’t trash talk “300”… That’s an AMAZING movie”.  At which point i simply smiled and said “i rest my case…”

Off they went.  As i’m tucked into bed, i’m watching this moronic ass-grabbing.  The following text-session transpired shortly therafter…

daisyfae:  U.F.C. = G.A.Y.

The Boy:   Tell Frank Shamrock* that…

daisyfae:  The name “Shamrock” is pretty girlie… i tell you, these guys are going to go play the meat trumpet in the locker room…

The Boy:  “Shamrock” sounds Irish to me.  Are all Irishmen** gay?

daisyfae:  Believe that if you want.  Especially if it saves me the cost of therapy…

The Boy:  Yeah.  I knew as I hit send that I didn’t really want the answer to that.


* Frank Shamrock, undefeated champ of the UFC “Bootlicker” weight class, was getting an atomic wedgie at that moment…

** daisyfae is dating a gentleman from Ireland… and both children are still getting used to mom being “out there” again.  Many “hands over the ears” moments as i explore new ways to mess with their little heads…

21 thoughts on ““Do you like movies about gladiators?”

  1. Aw, it’s such a sweet camaraderie you and the Boy share. Kind of like here at the Fragrant Liar House, where it’s nothin’ but girlies who all still get their periods — except me. The banter is all fun and games until . . .

    Well, you get the idea. I don’t know which is worse, though.
    Smartass girlies or smartass boyies. Either way, it’s still true that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Not far at all. 😉


  2. The level of homo-eroticsim in most American entertainment is frightening, I once gave a rather impassioned speech about the aforementioned pro-wrasslin being the most homo-erotic thing on the telly in the lunchroom cafeteria, i know eat alone at my desk, now maybe i’ll have to turn my attention to the UFC just to piss off some of my acquaintances, of course i once attempted to write a paper in that ill fated stint in grad school using Deconstructionism and Queer theory to prove how all the characters in a certain Jane Austen novel were gay. My lesbian prof. wouldn’t let me. Be careful of the Irishman Daisy those accents will suck you right in.

  3. I watched Big Time Wrestling too, and I thought it was real! This UFC stuff doesn’t look as fun as Big Time Wrestling was. Those guys look serious. I suppose I’m just getting old.

    Do you know what else is kind of effeminate? The Pittsburg Steelers “terrible towels.” Why are they terrible? Have they not been washed in a while? What’s so terrifying about a fucking towel?

  4. Growing up near Pittsburgh, we watched our home boy, Bruno Sammartino, ride roughshod through the wrestling circuit and hold the champion belt for years on end. Hmmm…”ride roughshod”…i’m seeing your point.

    @T.U.B. – still a little sensitive your Gints are sitting home this sunday, are ya? [evil chuckling]

  5. silverstar – i’ll be mucking with their heads til my dying breath! faking heart attacks in the nursing home just to rattle their cages!

    KJ – there’s not much we can’t chat about. i think the boys are a little more fragrant, but find i enjoy packs of girls as well as the boy squads… nuances in the interactions, but potty humor is always the common denominator!

    nursemyra – not yet! i don’t get out to movies much, but may be able to catch it once it’s on DVD… i’ll give him your recommendation!

    tysdaddy – ok, OK already… i loved the movie. those airbrushed 6-packs were beautiful!

    kono – i like your tactics for eating alone! UFC fans are rabid, and seem to scratch their bits in public from time to time, so you should have no trouble spotting them! Oh, regarding the accent? i think it’s too late…

    unbearable banishment – there’s real blood in UFC. Saw a UFC champion in O’Hare Airport once and his ear was swollen up, cauliflower-style. have to agree on that ‘towel’ thing. unwashed steelers fans are scary enough… but put dirty towels in their hands?

    gnu – wasn’t he the guy who used the “Piledriver” as his finishing move? ’nuff said….

  6. I always liked the “Pro Wrasslin'” The wrestling part was boring; it was the interviews and pre and post-ring shenanigans that I loved. Ultimate Fighting and boxing are missed on me. A sport that is designed to give brain damage is really strange.

  7. What, can’t a man and another man roll around together with their shirts off without their heterosexuality being questioned? Then again, I’m rather comfortable with my manhood when we do this Ultimate Fighting stuff in my self-defense class.

  8. Unbearable Banishment– I too recognized it right off!! 🙂

    Daisy, Daisy, Daisy…. we don’t want to imply that any member of our favorite band is gay, now do we? I’d have to take issue with that!

  9. Awww, I missed the Airplane reference entirely. But it has been a while since I last saw it. Is that in the same bit of dialog as , “Ever seen a grown man naked?”?

    When I was a kid we used to watch Maple Leaf Wresting and Stampede Wrestling (where Stu Hart and the rest of the Harts got their start). My chums and I would wrestle up a storm in the rec room, trying to imitate the moves we saw on TV. Throwing each other into walls, furniture, onto the floor, getting black eyes and concussions…..fun times!

    That was back in the day when, quite frankly, we hadn’t heard the word “homo”, let alone knew what that meant.

  10. Someone bad mouthing Frank Shamrock… stay calm, stay calm… woooh breathe slowly, deeply… You’re just lucky you didn’t say anything about his brother Ken… oooh it would have been on like DONKEY KONG THEN!!!!

  11. I breath a sigh of relieve each time younger Male Offspring comes over. He used to be way too into WWE (or whatever it kept changing to). He has since grown out of it(note: forced to grow out of it–it feel under the “not in my house” catagory). Hate it!! hate the language, hate the bimbo’s (no offense–some probably have a masters degree–just an easier job), hate the violence of it all. Male Offspring just didn’t seem to get the concept that you can’t actually jump off the bunkbed and not hurt the other Male Offspring. Though it does explain the phase that younger Male Offspring went thru–drawing hearts and flowers and girlie things for mom. We were slightly concerned about the gay thing for a few months. Unconscious stimulation from said show apparently.
    P. S. still think John Cena is hot–gay or not
    P.P.S. thank you for validating my need to also mess with Male Offsprings heads. Have thought I may be a bad parent.

  12. uncle keith – it’s the theatrics that made it! i was a rabid Bobo Brazil fan… he was a gentleman…

    renal failure – oooh! send pics of you doing the UFC thing! nursemyra and i are anxious!

    manuel – he’s from Dublin, but has lived in the states for a few years. i’m pretty good at doing my own “checking out”, and everything seems to work. just fine…

    awalkabout – i’ve done a statistically insignificant study (of one). nope. he likes women. the Gaelic Storm gents will always us love us, no matter what!

    rob – yep, that’s Airplane! brilliant in it’s stupidity… we’d “play wrasslin'” too. some furniture may have gotten broken, but no bones…

    alex – relax! i wasn’t bad mouthing Mr. Shamrock! Just forcing my son and his friend to get comfortable with their attraction to the male body. It’s ok! Doesn’t mean anything other than buff men are beautiful to watch… that’s why you watch, right?

    hisqueen – i’ll be glad when this phase is over. can’t bark too much – he’s an avid reader, and is currently devouring “The Great Gatsby”. bet he’s the only 20 year old to have that book open on the sofa while watching UFC… yes. keep messing with them. makes ’em tough!

    ~m – my friend derek confirmed (comment on previous post) that many UFC-esque folks perform in gay “arthouse” movies… hopefully with updated soundtracks these days!

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