Frigidity

Hate to do a ‘weather’ post…

BUTHOLYFUCKINGMOTHEROFGOD – it’s cold!

This morning?  i walked my dog when it was -14 F outside.  That’s -26 C for those of you who are Farenheitedly challenged.  With the wind – gusting to 20 miles/hour?  That’s a windchill factor of minus YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING – MY EYEBALLS JUST FROZE! 

Needless to say, my mildly brain damaged dog was oblivious.  Sproinging along as though he didn’t have a care in the world.  No coat.  No dog booties to protect his feet.  i’m in a parka, bundled up like Nanook of the North, shivering my everlovin’ giblets off, and he’s prancing along, sniffing every tree, leaving his “mark” – which by all rights should have frozen to his little doggie wiener.  And perhaps solidified his kidneys. 

Fortunately, he was all business, and set about makin’ poo within a few minutes.  Or he’d still be holding it…

Caught...

Ice, Ice, Baby...

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26 thoughts on “Frigidity

  1. alex – generally i prefer being too cold to being too hot. it’s much easier to warm up than cool off. But this is insane. i literally felt the goo in my eyeballs freezing. that’s cold…

    mel – remind me to go over an harrass you in the summer, when your boxers are melted to your bits from the 120F scorchers you get out there. 🙂 we’re in ohio. it’s c-c-c-c-cold…. send photons….

    nursemyra – i had thought about getting a pair. um, uh… a quartet… for him, but he doesn’t seem to need them. we’re only out for 5-10 min at a time right now… i can’t stand much more!

    DP – i’ve tried to find the creator to give credit, but have only found a few spots where it’s been burgled, such as mine. will keep rooting for the artist, because it’s fabulous! suspect there’s more good stuff there!

    kyknoord – not if i duct tape a trash bag to his fuzzy li’l bunghole! we are resourceful, here in the frigid wasteland!

  2. know how you feel Daisy, i think it was -2 when i went to work yesterday, still managed to brave the elements for a few Guinness though last night on what the weatherman said was the coldest day in 15 years in Pittsburgh, the one good thing about this weather is it helps not smoke those cigarettes i keep trying to kick cuz it ain’t worth freezing my nuts off for a vice like that, other vices maybe, but not that one.

  3. Oh yeah, here in beeutyful new england it’s is really f#%&ing cold out – although I don’t pay much attention to the forecast so I don’t know exactly what the temp is, but it is a serious slap to the eyeballs for sure. Teddy’s okay in it for about 5 minutes and then he’s on the front stoop making a big show about the shiveryness – for the first time I really am contemplating getting him a sweater for practical purposes.

  4. You have my empathy. And now you know why I don’t go back to Colorado. I don’t care if it’s a dry cold/heat, it still gets fucking cold/hot there. I’ll stay here, and still bitch when it gets below freezing.

  5. Hey! Looks like you got our leftovers. Alberta Clipper an’ all. Today we’re at +6 C. (Edmonchuck set a record yesterday at +6C.) Supposed to be +9C tomorrow. Yee-haw!

    Oh, and by the way, my sympathies. Cold nuggets? Stand a little closer to the fire.

  6. As a citizen of Minneapolis, can I just say “right on”? We’ve “heated up”, but the way, a full 40 degrees in the last two days all the way up to 16 degrees today. How cool is that? Still freezing!!

    Pearl

  7. Cold up here as well.
    Today it’s not so bad about 22 degrees or so.
    A few days ago it was ridiculous and well below zero.
    Summer’s coming . . .
    Great dog pic, too!
    ~m

  8. Just back from cross country skiing in the boreal mountains, -20C with the wind chill and dumping blowing snow! Freeze the balls of a brass monkey. Gods its great to be alive! P.S. Your dog doesn’t look well, is he regular?

  9. unbearable banishment – i’m seriously considering a cat… as a ‘pet augmentee’ for now, but they are a bit easier. still, hate the thought of being dogless…

    kono – friday night? it was still -NutFreeze or some such thing, and i still made it out to play karaoke with friends. and the bar was PACKED. guess there ain’t much else to do when it’s that cold…

    otto – still tracking the source. going to look in a few more places, because it’s beautiful. someone either carefully crafted that from photoshop (or a real graphics package), or there’s one mad ice sculptor out there….

    dave – my dog will hijack a litter box, but just for his midnight snack (blechh!) I was considering just staying in, or letting him out on a leash from the lower patio while i stayed inside… hopefully, the worst of the cold is over…

    amber – teddy’s such a little guy, i’m guessing that even a little bit of snow gets up under his, ummm… business. that’s gotta hurt!

    silverstar – seriously starting to appreciate why those ‘snowbird’ people all fly south for 3 months every year. this is sucking seriously hard…

    rob – and we have no proper way to thank you, other than toxic clouds on occasion, and from time to time, a spot of acid rain when the wind blows just right… thanks. muchly…

    squirrel queen – hate to say it, but frozen poo is easier to pick up. it freezes on contact at these temperatures…

    pearl – yep, we’re in the midst of a warm-up today. it was about 26 F around noon today. warm enough to get me out skiing this afternoon…. here’s to an early spring…

    dolce – “someone”? singular? HA! oh, and my dog is a “someone”… right?

    michael – hatin’ the winter. only january, too. my guess is that we’ll get another sub-zero run sometime in February. i’m busily planning some warm weather trips… Florida for a business trip tomorrow, then southern california in a couple weeks. it’ll be the dog-sitter’s problem at that point!

    Bb – just back from an afternoon skiing myself. i’m a rookie… but love doing something outdoors despite the crap weather. the sun was out, but it was still only about 19F at the slopes hills today. will keep trying… it wasn’t bad. The dog is quite irregular. He poos on schedule, though…

    fweng – i’m headed there for valentine’s day weekend. combination business trip/scuba trip. screw this. i need sunshine…

  10. gnu – it’s a quicker picker upper… but i’d like a little less frozen, thanks… my eyeballs are still freezing in the morning.

    archie – ICK! that’s a bit toasty… would rather have cold…

    dolce – he’s about as smart as a pahtahtoh… so i guess that counts!

  11. well alright–finally found someone who can appreciate the unusual and odd weather in Ohio. Was -32 here with wind chill. -9 just standing still. Try taking out 2 dogs–if only they would coordinate the need for potty and get-r-done right away. So many squirrelies to smell and small bushes to sniff. God forbid there be a small amount of ice as a top layer. The sliding of paws will cause us to move to a new location. Just goooooo–Frozen nose hairs are not a pleasant feeling. Poor puppy just laided down one time because he couldn’t stand the cold on his feet while waiting for his older sister to find “just the right spot” At that temp all spots look good to me.

    Didn’t help that the heater went out over a weekend also. Thank goodness for cuddly dogs and electric heaters.

  12. hisqueen – Welcome to The Park! CLEARLY you know the adventure of the Poo Brigade. Can’t imagine trying to walk two of them at once. Hopefully they’re the small “practice dog” size…

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