Another holiday.  Another addition to the “what the fuck was i thinking?” file…

Last night, it was a “Resolution Run”.  On the bright side?  It was only 5k.  The Turkey Trot was 5 miles.   The down side?  It was 25 degrees, dark and windy.  But i finished.  And that was the point….  Will be doing 5k’s throughout the year to track my progress – and force me to stay with the training.

During the past 12 months, i’ve sneakily gained back 20+ pounds, after having lost over 60 a few years ago.  Oh, no i didn’t….. Oh, yes i did….  It’s coming off.  Not a new year resolution.  Resolve.  i’m out of “fat clothes”.  i hate shopping.  Done. 

But one must work into this gently.  After the run, had friends over for billiards and booze – and discovered a new liquid taste treat:  Chocolate Peppermint-tinis – white chocolate liqueur, peppermint schnapps and a good portion of vanilla vodka.  Ouch.  Goes down like candy…  Did i say “ouch”?  Chick drinks are the fucking antichrist.

Last year?  i danced myself silly at a house party.  All of the sweat, just as many muscle aches – but no headache since i generally don’t drink much when i’m dancing.  Will need to keep “dancing” on my cross training plan.  It works.

It was also a year ago when i launched “Trailer Park Refugee”.  i’m not done telling the stories that i need to hoark up – not by a long shot. With my pesky Sesame Street attention span, i’ve wandered off a bit…. 

When i wrote posts about the family, it smoked me emotionally – the one about my eternally bitter mother took a full week to shake off.  To maintain the writing habit, i started posting random neural firings, theater happenings, conversations with my kids, observations about my geek workforce…. 

Then, you all showed up, started reading this crap, commenting and providing resonance and an odd sort of validation.  That was a bonus.  Unexpected and delightful…  Thank you.  To those who comment, and those who lurk…

Now, back to my regularly scheduled…. nap….

Shhhh.... You're breathing much too loudly...

Shhhh.... You're breathing much too loudly...

28 thoughts on “resolve…

  1. It seems like you’ve been at this blog for a lot longer than a year, although all I ever needed to do was check your archive. Well…here’s to another year.

    Keep running. It’s boring, it hurts and it’s time consuming, but it’s good for you.

  2. 25 degrees eh? Round here that’s a heat wave.

    Good for you. On the run. And on the resolve. Need a little of that myself.

    Oh and good on ya for the bloggin’ too.

    Here’s to whatever 2009 will bring.

  3. You are a better man then I am, Gunga Din, to run in this kind of westher. Of course, this is the kind of weather when I can barely walk for the pain, so…
    Diet tip, sweetie, booze has lots of calories. Think about it.

  4. Congrats on the blogaversary. You have become a “must-read” person with your tales of family and workmates. Always, at the back of your stories, I can see a stage play trying to get out. Straight spirits consume more calories than they contain – – –

  5. KJ – oh, i got lots of craziness… and that’s even before i drag out the skellies from the family closets! Thanks, and Happy 2009!

    unbearable banishment – the blog has been quite therapeutic, despite the fact that my writing isn’t any better than the day i started… we’re all out here for different reasons. i trained for a half-marathon in 2007, and am simply picking up the 6 day training schedule – without the long saturday run. i was melting 2 lbs a week, without starving. it works…

    rob – thanks… the trick for me is that i’ve got a ‘training buddy’. on days i don’t want to go out, he is keeping me on track, and vice versa. here’s to a wonderful 2009 for you and your clan in the great white north!

    silverstar – oh, i know that my party girl habits are a key reason for the weight gain… when i was losing before, i just planned ahead for drinking. i’ll downshift pub night to 2 pints (from 3), and have lighter meals that day… it’s math. unpleasant math, but math nonetheless…

    alex – thanks! and happy 2009 to you! i’m hoping things stay quiet in The Park for a month or so… just not up to processing it at the moment!

    archie – Thanks – hadn’t thought about writing the play, but it’s a thought… i prefer whiskey, scotch and vodka. just not the same efficiency or effect in a glass of white wine. i also burn a few calories if i am inspired to dance on tables – which spirits will do! But i’ll adapt… Happy 2009!

  6. i think your writing has improved. and you’ve dropped a bit on the “Most Likely To End Up On A Rooftop With A High Powered Rifle” list. it is therapeutic. and the people out here are, with notable exceptions, quite good therapists. good luck on your resolve and meeting your goals for the new year, physical and mental.

  7. kono – “lurker” sounds so much nicer than “stalker”, doesn’t it? thanks! happy 2009!

    gnu kid – i seem to write best when i’m angry. maybe i need to start working myself up into a rage before sitting down at the computer… i will hit the weight goal. no doubt. i know how to do it. just frustrating to keep losing the same freakin’ pounds again… happy gnu year!

    stephanie – out of pepto. how about some advil and a case of bottled water?

  8. Consider me a lurker – not prone to comment too much – far too intimidated by those who can actually contribute to the conversation! But I love your stories and your writing! Congrats on making one year! And 20 lbs – that’s 20lbs of living!!! But I hear ya. 🙂

  9. Hi Daisy, I found your website via The Unbearable Banishment, saw you as a regular commenter there and wandered over…

    I understand the mentally taxing part that goes with personal writing. There have been a few posts where I just didn’t feel like I was ready to “go there”, particularly a number of posts about my family, which is pretty nuts, and especially around the holidays. It’s hard sometimes to dig up stuff one has been, in earnest, keeping in the ground for who knows how long.

    Cranberry juice is a runner’s best friend,

  10. I’m one of your faithful lurkers.
    I rarely start or end my day without checking in with a kindred parkie.

    genuinely sending good Cali-vibes your way…while enjoying a balmy 45 degrees in Sacramento.


  11. I can’t believe I haven’t run across your blog in the past, or at least paid more attention if I did. My daughters swear they come from Trailer trash even tho they’ve never lived in a trailer their whole lives. I can’t wait to tell my oldest about my new discovery. LOL. I especially like your tag line. I’ll be checking in more in the future. You look like a good source of motivation for physical fitness also.

    Happy New Year to you.

  12. I have gained back the weight I lost when the gallbladder issues came up. I needed about ten of those pounds but the other 10 – not so much and I am feeling as though I am “wearing” someone’s skin puffy coat style. Alas, running is not on the menu anymore because I have a bum achilles tendon, but I have spin in the new year.

    Glad to have discovered you this past year!

  13. stephanie – deal!

    heartbreaktown – feel free to throw down with the trailer park posse! you can hang… no doubt in my mind. “20 lbs of living”? ummm…. probably just 20 lbs of drinkin’…. but… i’ll do it…

    sonny – Welcome to The Park! Glad you stopped by… i’ve wandered your way a few times from the unbearable banishment as well! the personal stuff – which may not seem like much to the outside observer – really roils my guts sometimes. guilt, guilt and more guilt is usually the root. like too much alcohol consumed, sometimes there’s great relief when it comes up, however… the room stops spinning and i can sleep.

    jen – Welcome back to The Park (i think you’ve de-lurked once before!). Glad you understand the connection… somehow it’s less lonely knowing there are folks out there who share this… this…. condition? affliction? circumstance!

    tysdaddy – they are sneaky. they taste so fruitalicious and yummy – but they will knock you down, make you lie and write bad checks… hmmm….

    ladybeams – Welcome to The Park! i have spent a few nights trailer-ing, but a trailer park is a state of mind sometimes… and there’s a good side and a bad side to this dual nature! bet your kids are tough, and a lot of fun! i’ll check in and cheer you on with your fitness goals – short term (memorial day) goal is 20 lbs. long term (labor day) is 40 lbs. i’ve done it before – and have not regained all of it… each time, i’m getting lower… just have to keep working out like a possessed demonic thing. ugh.

    annie – “wearing someone’s skin puffy coat style” – love that description! i’ve seen recent pictures of myself and (once i’m done deleting them from the memory cards) have been utterly disgusted. i won’t buy a single pair of pants – therefore i must lose the weight or continue to spray myself with cooking spray before donning the jeans… Glad i found you as well!

  14. Daisyfae –I discovered your blog about two months ago — what a rush! I’d swear you were writing my family tales. My dad passed on 12/26 and I’ve missed your site for a couple weeks. Back on track — everyday. Please keep writing, I’ll keep laughing.

  15. awalkabout – chocolate cherri-tinis are pretty good, too… black cherry vodka in the mix, with a vodka-soaked chocolate covered cherry for garnish? Mmmmm….

    nursemyra – oooh, another variant! we added carmel vodka to apple cider in the fall… carmel appletini… happy new year to you, too! xxx

    middle sister – welcome to the park (although it sounds as though you’re already familiar with it…). sorry for the loss of your father – it’s truly the part of growing up that sucks, and no matter what the circumstances, i don’t think we’re ever prepared… thanks for de-lurking. Feel free to share your own family tales in the comment box! We’re all in this together – whatever it is! Happy 2009!

    dolce – that’s much of the plan for the next few months. i generally get in much less trouble when beer is involved. spirits lead to me dancing on tables, behaving badly and worse… happy new year!

  16. Happy Blogiversary to You!!!
    I’ve so enjoyed your site since I found it. Please continue to share your neighborhood with the rest of the world.
    May your “resolve” be strong in 2009 despite the existence of Chocolate Peppermint-tinis.

  17. squirrelqueen – Thanks! i’ve managed to run, walk, or even bike every day since new years eve. well… that’s only 3 days…. but it’s a start. Oh, and nothing stronger than a beer. But the year is quite young!

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