Why yes, that is a bullet hole…

Right foot.  .22 caliber if i had to call it… Missed the bones, but will take a few months to fully heal.  Shot from close range, but no powder burns…

Doing last minute preparations before a dinner date last night, and the phone rings.  My initial assumption is that it’s my date, calling to stand me up because he got a better offer… but it was Mom.  Uh oh… Trouble in The Park.

Mom simply asked if i was busy, and had a few minutes to talk.  Out of the ordinary for sure – and clearly not the emergency call i’ve come to expect.  Whew.  i let her know that i had plans for dinner, and would need to leave shortly but absolutely had time to talk.

Winging it’s way toward me from left field came the following:

Mom:  S (my ridiculously self-absorbed 56 year old sister) feels as though you’re discriminating against her.  That you’ve been mad at her since May*, and she is very hurt.

Wandering out to the dining room to sit down, The Boy and The Girl are mucking around, packing up gear to head back to their apartment for a few days… they quickly realize that it’s a “Drama Alert” from The Park after i launch into a short, passive-aggressive rant…

Now, back at Thanksgiving i was pretty fed up with the lot of them.  As i described to a few folks “i’m two chocolate bars short of giving a shit”.  i was prepared to level them.  The timing on this bit of tele-drama was pretty bad from that point of view…

Not sure exactly what i said, but it was a monologue along the lines of – “No, i’m not mad.  ‘Discriminating against her’?  Huh?  i mean, i get frustrated when everyone down there rolls around in the drama, and when people start barking about T(my prodigal brother).  Shit, i mean no one down there really knows me much, or seems to care much about what’s going on in my life, so i’ve just gotten used to it.  It’s ok, though.  i’m not mad.  It’s about meeting people where they are, and i know i’m not going to change anyone, so i just accept the family for who they are and go about my business… i’ll do anything to help, will always come down for get-togethers.  i love you all dearly, but it’s not my job to manage the relationship between S and T, or anyone for that matter….”

Taking a breath, i finally ask Mom “what the hell was it that S was upset about?”

Mom:  Well, DQ and i got Christmas cards from you that had a nice letter, with photos in it… and S didn’t get one with her card, so she thought you just didn’t want to share it with her….

daisyfae:[shocked briefly into silence]  Oh, fuck, Mom… that was a MISTAKE!  i was slamming the letters into the cards on my lunch hour so i could actually get them mailed before February this year, and must have missed one.  i didn’t do it on purpose…. oh, fuck…. no…. please tell her it was an oversight, i can understand why she might be a little miffed… i’ll get a note out to her tomorrow, with an apology…

In the meantime, The Boy and The Girl are sitting on the steps, amused while watching me twist athletically in midair.  The Boy pantomimes shooting himself in the foot.  The Girl just shakes her head sadly…  i mouth the words “BLOG POST”. 

Finally reassuring Mom that nothing is wrong, that i’m fine, love them all, and don’t want there to be any trouble whatsoever over the holidays.  My eyes were doing about 45 rpm in my head at this point – wondering how the hell i was going to avoid holiday drama…

As my date arrived, my phone rang – S was calling.  Oh, no.  i let it go to voicemail… Didn’t Mom tell her i was on my way out for the evening?  i didn’t even bother to get the message until much later.  The final twist?

S:  I found the christmas letter – it was still in the envelope.  Sorry I felt the way I did.  We need to talk.  I think you need someone to talk to.  Maybe we should get together sometime and have a long sisterly talk**.  You don’t have to go through things by yourself.  I want you to know I’m there for you and love you.***

a little more to the right.... that's it!

a little more to the right.... that's it!

*oh, no… it goes back MUCH further than May!  that was just when i instructed her to watch the Lion King and stop the fucking hospital dramatics.  Her insistence that she be allowed to “help” me through the breast cancer was when my tolerance meter pegged out at “Argh”…

** MY BRAIN SCREAMS AT THIS THOUGHT….   Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

*** Crap.  An apology AND a genuine kind thought!  i’ll call her.  i’ll hack up an hour or two of my life and make nice.  She means well.  Really.  But so did a few members of the Bush administration…

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16 thoughts on “Why yes, that is a bullet hole…

  1. Uggh, I swear that every family that has more than one child has the “crazy” sister. I have one too.
    You are a nice lady for giving up 2 hours of your life to make nice.
    I resort to text messaging now….my crazy does not like to read and write….it really has saved me time.

    Miss

  2. One could ostensibly say that I’m estranged from most of my family. Strangely, I like it that way. Despite the fact that I’m pretty much regarded as a prick and an asshole. But, as they say, “Sticks and stones….”.

    The upside, of course, is that now no one is calling and asking for money.

  3. Siblings (rolling eyes). I haven’t been writing about the drama much these days as my sis, DNOS and her husband and many of my cousins too it seems are now regular blog readers (I knew there was a reason I kept the addy a secret), but it rolls on.

    I’m down there in the trenches with ya, girl.

  4. I’m the black sheep, too, and the designated crazy person™ in the family. But at least I’m not the mean bitch, my sister holds that title. Fortunately, she’s not speaking to me. I feel for you. Is this the sister that has breast cancer again?

  5. Miss – i don’t think this sister uses text… shame. i’m already making it worse. the “incident” was friday night, and it’s now sunday morning and i still haven’t called back. i was having a good weekend, damn it… don’t wanna screw it up!

    rob – they don’t ask me for money these days… when i’d give sound advice that was ignored, i informed them that they can’t have it both ways, and that the cash came with strings… haven’t heard one request for bailout since! looking forward to being estranged some day… will tough it out as long as mom is alive…

    annie – it’s a shame you lost your “rant space”. i realized reading your comment that i probably would temper my writing if i learned they were reading this… just no point in inflicting pain, nor providing them with more ‘drama fodder’…

    unbearable banishment – yep. my kids are spending christmas eve/christmas morning with their dad. they get back christmas night, and we’re going to The Park on the 26th for a laid back gathering at my brothers house. i had considered going to The Park on the 25th as well. Decided that i’d rather hang out alone with my damn dog…

    silverstar – i’m not sure what i’ve been designated… i was “number one son” when my dad was alive, but since then, i’ve become the “hardass nazi administrator” or something… so long as i’m no longer considered “the bank” i can deal with it…

    gnu kid – *snort*

    kyknoord – perhaps that’s why i still haven’t called her back? suppose i could put her on speaker phone while i’m finishing up some holiday baking this morning?

  6. I have been the black sheep of the family for much of my life. Someone gets upset with me, Hey, it’s their life. Luckily I only have brothers so they don’t have the social skills to do the drama thing with me 🙂 Hmmm – there is a wife and siters-in-law – – – They are a different kettle of fish!

  7. Hi Laura, I didn’t go to the annual gathering of the family just to avoid another chapter in the Peter Pan(Josee) And Kelly(my niece) show.They are the Drama Queens.I’m still irked by last year when Peter Pan had this big slide show for my mother and left out my youngest daughter.That and they breeze in long enough to make a show then leave when they have done their damage.Maybe next year OH WELL!!!!!!!!!!! AJ

  8. alex – although i put it off until sunday afternoon, it really wasn’t bad. she was apologetic for the drama, talked about how NONE of us are very good at calling, and that she was working through things with my brother. Total time: 18 minutes. Not too bad…

    archie – with men, it seems easier. they’ll have a few beers, yell and throw a few punches, then it’s all ok… women? they want to talk, talk, Talk, TALK, TAAAAAALK! ugh. i’d rather she take a swing at me…

    AJ – family. they can push all the buttons because they installed them. sorry you couldn’t have a drama-free christmas this year!

    nm – [packing clothing and good undies] i can be there in 24 hours… standby!

    derek – i’ve already put a major dent in a bottle of ketel one (filthy martinis with blue cheese olives), but have the psychotropics on standby…

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