boss: Your year was excellent.
daisyfae: LOL – seriously, i sucked. out loud. and frequently from home.
boss: You did a great job. We love you.
daisyfae: FFS – i phoned it in. i wasn’t even trying. i’ve lost the fire…
boss: You rock. Here’s a little more money.
daisyfae: [shaking head guiltily] ok.
Granted, there was more to it than that – some key areas for improvement*. And i’ve maxed out – unless i change jobs, or take on some ridiculous or herculean amazonian task, i’m flat-lined. Which is a good thing. The goal in my world is to hit “Max Pay” as young as you can. i’m good.
There’s a bit of guilt, though… A few weeks ago, as i was stumbling into the office about 45 minutes after my official “start” time, i saw a woman in the parking lot who is a well-documented slacker**. i remember thinking to myself “Damn. Hope i’m never that big of a parasite.” Invariably, as i was leaving early that afternoon to run errands? There she was headed to her car…
i’m just having a “blue period”. My motivation will return. i’ll get my geek-a-rific groove back on. But in the mean time? Here’s a current favorite tune*** from The Slackers.
* “Stop tormenting the intellectually challenged and the emotionally unstable” wasn’t first on the list, but it definitely came up during the discussions.
** i work from home. she doesn’t. i’m “on call” 24/7/365 – and will respond to urgent calls from wherever i am, and whatever i’m doing (except *that*). doubt she does – um, responds, or does *that*. oh, and i am a helluva lot funnier and dress better. Fur-lined rubber mukluks with a skirt/suit is NOT a good look for the office.
*** video sucks. tough to find this one…
Thing about parasites though is that they are really succesful creatures. They are often called consultants or HR reps…
I felt only the slightest bit of guilt for not being 150% anymore when the inevitable “why the fuck am I killing myself” moment came.
They are jobs not callings from God.
Blue periods! …….. I knew you were royalty
hey! when did you bleach your hair that colour?
Hey, don’t feel guilty about it, and don’t ever tell the boss that you’re phoning it in, even when you are. No job is worth killing yourself for, and as long as they think you are great and give more money, say “Thank You” and go on with your life. Who knows what next year will bring.
I know about blue periods. I am at a loss as to why I’m not in my customary December funk, although things are going really well right now. I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Remember, the sun starts coming back on December 22, and things usually get better from there.
Some people aspire to greatness. I aspire to be Wally. Or you.
doesn’t it all equal out some way? i mean, the 80 hour weeks with no family life at all you put in to get to your high ranking position have to be repaid somehow. or am i doing it wrong, too?
Alex – if the definition of success is being satiated with the lowest expenditure of energy possible? i want to be a tapeworm…
annie – it’s a little of that. i gave 150% for the vast majority of my career. and what they really pay me for is what i know, and being able to solve problems with what i know… so phoning it is should be ok… job. not calling. still need to work on that…
DP – *snort* oh, no! took care of that with the surgery a few weeks back!
nm – right about the time i had my face botoxed, re-sculpted and started drinking from a clean coffee mug… (so. not. me.)
silverstar – i was (eventually) gracious… and the “challenge” areas he identified are all of the things that i think i should have been tackling more aggressively. my “blue” is just around work – and i’m actively exploring other options to see if i can find something that re-sparks the fire. Looking forward to the 22nd!
kyknoord – Wally doesn’t look as good as i do in black boots (best thing about winter is boots). All the years where i gave a shit (two decades) are paying dividends now. Why can’t i relax, shake the guilt and just surf the wave?
gnu – that’s what i’m trying to tell myself. the short-notice travel. being force-fed donuts and coffee. suffering higher-ranking eeejits (but finding the back-door solution with commiserating staffers after the blowhole leaves the room). speaking “jive” to get the engineers communicating effectively with the customers… but there’s guilt. and i’m not even catholic!
Good for you. Our annual PR time is coming up. The leaders have just done their “calibrations”. Should be interesting to see what all comes of it although I’m curiously not all that emotionally invested. Okay. Okay. Not at all emotionally invested.
The mother ship just announced massive job reductions and plant closures and idlings. Most are overwrought. I’m just…..meh.
Interesting too about the whole slacker thing. You think you’re being a major slacker and there always seems to be someone who’s just a little bit worse. It’s like the bell curve in action.
Hey, you don’t have to convinve me.
rob – part of the guilt is that i know many people who are un- or under-employed at the moment. this economy sucks and blows. i’ve got to remind myself sometimes that it’s my
advanced age and general crustinessyears of experience that make me fairly efficient in getting things done. stilll…
uncle keith – the only good things i’ve ever done in my life have probably been motivated by guilt… it’s just how i roll…
In the immortal words of Sally field, They like you. They really like you. Go with that, and enjoy your gainful employment when so many these days don’t have it. And remember that you are a wondrous and talented child of the universe, and have the paycheck to prove it. 🙂
Aside from that, I hate reviews…
KJ – i know. counting my blessings as i type… “child of the universe” – yep. there’s that “hippie chick” thing i’ve got going on again!
I’ve got mine today. 😦
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