Genetics – Part Seven

Despite a serious back injury to my niece’s husband, BJ, plans are moving forward on the “Big Move To The Country”.  To recap, the plan is for Mom to buy the land (15 wooded acres), and to secure a construction loan.  From there, BJ and my niece, DQ, will orchestrate building a new home – with an attached apartment for Mom.  Mom will then pay for her portion of the total square footage, and DQ and BJ pick up the mortgage on the remainder.

This gets Mom to an uncluttered “happy place” where she can be surrounded by family.  And it gets BJ, DQ and their menagerie of critters and children* a spectacular new home – along with the full time responsibility for taking care of Mom**.  She’s 80.  She could live a couple more years or twenty.  Throw the dice (and install a canary in the bedroom and hire a ‘taster’ for her food)…

Before my trip to South America, the first domino fell.  The deal for the land purchase was to be closed.  As holder of Mom’s legal “power of attorney”, i reviewed the paperwork by remote, concurred that all was in order, and skipped the proceedings.

The day after closing, while taking Mom to see the cardiologist, i asked her how things had gone with the banking people. 

Mom:  Fine.  I think i threw them all for a loop, though.

daisyfae:  [bracing herself] What happened?  What did you do?

Mom:  Well, everything was going fine.  Signed all the stuff, went through the paperwork.  Didn’t seem like a big deal.  Then they said “Now, all we need is your money”.  So i said “What?  No one told me i was supposed to bring money?”


Mom:  They all laughed real hard when they figured out i was kidding!

daisyfae:  i bet they did, Momma…

In later discussions with DQ and my friend KMD (realtor coordinating the purchase), i also learned that when she handed over the cashiers check, she made a point of kissing it goodbye.

KMD’s comment – “Well, i can certainly see where daisyfae gets it…”.  i’m totally going to fuck with people when i’m an old lady.  Hell… why wait?


* Hard to tell who’s who without a score card.  i thought there were only two cats, but discovered about two more when i dropped of my dog for the long pet sit… i think there was only one baby, but they might have had a loaner in the mix.

** no lines are forming for this job amongst the rest of us… we’re lucky someone is willing to take this on.  but the situation is ripe for exploitation.  i’ve seen the house plans go from 800 sq ft “apartment” for Mom, with a 1500 sq ft house (complete with unfinished basement) to about 1000 sq ft for Mom and 2000 sq ft for the rest of the clan… and i simply ask “how do you plan to pay for this?”… (sigh).  Stay tuned…

12 thoughts on “Genetics – Part Seven

  1. I firmly believe that is absolutely the best perk of getting older. Wearing purple hats, being cranky, getting away all sorts of rudeness and all that …

  2. Glad it’s you and not me. I can see all sorts of pitfalls. Fortunately my father took matters into his own hands and moved to a retirement community, where he has many friends. He also moved closer to three of my siblings, so he is well looked after. And the sister who is executor of his estate wants him to die with nothing but a nickle for each of us in his pocket. But I’m hoping for at least $1.

  3. your Mom is feisty… i like that in a woman… does she date younger men? and I guess the feistiness doesn’t skip generations and you are a poster girl for the National Feisty Women of America… do you date older men? ;->

  4. years ago when I was married, my mother in law lived with us for 5 years and even though she was a LOVELY woman and she had her own lounge room, bathroom and bedroom, I still got tired of having that extra person around to consider. I guess I’m only good at looking after old people when I can go home at the end of the day and leave them to someone else…….

  5. tNb – my kids are already bracing for that certainty! i’m already pretty ridiculous…

    silverstar – it’s a minefield. to quote Joni Mitchell “the perils of benefactors, the blessings of parasites”. best case? there’s a happy symbiosis as my niece feeds off my mother, and mom gets her needs met and is comforted in her remaining years. worst case? i go in, guns blazing and attorney at the ready, to clean up a disaster…

    rob – yep. had to do something. the house is falling down around mom, and she refuses to let hired help in (nursing, cleaning, etc). she also refuses to move… had to do something, and my niece was there to exploit and manipulate lend a hand and take care of things… while getting a new fucking house in the deal…

    archie – and we want pictures!

    miss – that would be my solution. but since i’m not the one willing to have her move in? i can’t throw too many rocks… a real dilemma…

    gnu – Brilliant! i need to get her a boy toy! You’ll do nicely…. um, the downside? now that she’s bought the property, she doesn’t have as much liquid cash for going out to play. But she’s got “feisty” to spare!

    kyknoord – i think it was the people selling the land that about stroked out! it had been on the market for awhile…

    dolce – if my children have a random urge to make me scream out loud and throw something? all they have to say is “That’s something Granny would do…”.

    nm – i would do it if there were no alternatives. but mom wants US to do the caregiving, and balks everytime we suggest hiring help to assist her… i’d be picking imaginary bugs off the wallpaper within days…

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