When A Candidate Says “Change”…

Take a drink…

Yep.  That’s about the best way to get through a Presidential Debate.  Last night, had a couple friends over to watch John McCain and his jowls debate issues with Barack Obama.  Expecting not much more than “talking points” and practiced oratory, it seemed appropriate to turn the debate into a drinking game*.

Starting rules:

    – Drink whenever a candidate uses that “knuckle point thingie”

    – Drink when John McCain says “Maverick” or “POW”

    – Drink when either candidate says “synergy”

    – Triple tequila shots if either candidate says “Moosehunter”, “Caribou Barbie” or “Bullwinkle Must Die”

We managed to stay reasonably sober, but have some new “drinking triggers” for the next round (Note:  Suggestions Welcome!).  The rules shall be refined.  Seems the ol’ “knuckle point thing” is out of favor.  Mr. Obama uses an odd “finger pinch”, while Mr. McCain gesticulates with open hands.  If we’d done shots for every use of the word “change” or “economy”, we’d still be passed out… 

Bonus points to Mr. Obama for working the word “orgy” into the debate.  In addition to being a very smart man, he is incredibly sexy – not that my vote will be influenced by that in the least.  As my friend said “Yes We Would!”**  Very glad Mr. McCain didn’t use that word – the visual would have left me clawing my eyes out…

Thursday night, we’ll get together again to watch Ms. Palin take stupidity to a new low debate the infinitely blow-hardy Mr. Biden.  We’ll have to work on the game rules for that – but i will be doing shots everytime she says “I’ll get back to ya on that one” and “I can see Russia from my house!”

Regarding content – Star of the evening:  Jim Lehrer was a great moderator.  Dragged them back to the original questions, attempted to pin them down.  Nice.  There was good clarity on differences in foreign policy.  Unfortunately, however, i realized that i am already horribly biased.  Mr. McCain came across to me as a doddering, rambling and bitter man***.  Attacking, smirking and failing on nearly every occasion to answer the questions at hand Spewing prepared factoids, rehashing old infomation and worst of all – misrepresenting the stinky realities of the legislative process – implying that Mr. Obama voted “against our troops” when he’d voted against an unchecked war. 

Mr. Obama?  i heard this crazy thing that sounded a bit like “vision”.  Not an inexperienced rookie, but a deeply intelligent man.  Much more articulate, less bitter, and not prone to the pandering, emotional appeal (McCain’s “Look at this bracelet given to me by the mother of a dead soldier” bit was just pathetic…).

Made the mistake of listening to the “Post Game Wrap Up”.  To hear the “spinners” jabber about “who won” afterwards, i wasn’t sure i’d watched the same event.  Mr. McCain “held his own”?  Huh?  Did i go pee during that part?  Were these people watching a different debate in a parallel universe? 

Only about a month to go.  Thankfully.  i just want to fast forward to see how it turns out… Drinking my way through the debates is just a symptom…


* When i found my son and his friends turning an awful game of video golf into a drinking game, i then realized ANYTHING can be turned into a drinking game… An acoholic epiphany! 

** The Obama Campaign has embraced the phrase “Yes We Can!”….  Oh, we totally would… right there.  on the floor.  with everyone else watching!

*** NOTHING CLOSE to the man who campaigned a few years back and had my attention as a better-than-average candidate.  He choked early in the primary process, but seemed a different man before he sold out to the religious right…

14 thoughts on “When A Candidate Says “Change”…

  1. Should have had a drink anytime anyone said Surge – you’d still be hugging the toilet.

    I was already so biased against McCain that I was surprised he did as well as he did, the sellout. But that smirky shit was so much like W that I wanted to cry. Nooooooooooo! Somebody said he *had* to smirk – that’s how he kept from calling Obama a cunt.

    Good Twitter comment:
    [from superfantastic] I bet McCain got that League of Democracies idea from Woodrow Wilson back when they were bunkmates at summer camp

  2. Thanks for the review. I thought the debate was canceled, so I bought a theater ticket and missed it. By the time I found out the game was on, it was too late. This morning I tried to find out how it went but every news source seemed to have an agenda and I couldn’t get an honest assessment. You have more credibility with me than either CNN or Fox News. How about that?

  3. I didn’t watch, mostly because I’ve already made up my mind. I don’t think there is anything that John McCain could say that could make me vote for him. Besides, I got most of it on Twitter, anyway.

  4. To much effort being an informed voter, I prefer to just turn up on election day and write a stupid name on the ballot then go home. (Though the addition of alcohol seems like it could make it a fun night). Damned compulsory voting!!!

  5. as I only got australian citizenship last year I’m a passionate voter – the novelty has not yet worn off. I’d vote for Obama (and I’d totally do him too. or his wife. whichever one was closest to hand)

  6. bc – oh, yeah… i’ll do more homework before the next debate to get betterh keywords. Love the “Woodrow” comment. I think one of us suggested that he’d gone to school with Roosevelt at one point. We also considered that he was proposing the “League of Democracies” to counter the “Evil League of Evil” from the Dr. Horrible videos…

    unbearable banishment – don’t rely on me. i am clearly biased. i made a feeble attempt to listen to Mr. McCain’s position, but the fact that he allowed the Party Monkeys to select a FREEKIN’ EEEEJIT as his VP says he is ultimately a party pussy… sold.out.

    silverstar – turning Twitter into a drinking game? Hmmm…. I think most folks have made up their minds… but it is useful to at least force the candidates to articulate their positions, side by side, rather than via snarky commercials, soundbites and media spinners…

    alex – if it didn’t matter this year, that’d be a consideration. i live in a “swing” state. and every vote counts. well, i HOPE they count. Last time, our state suffered SIGNIFICANT VOTING IRREGULARITIES, and there were enough of these that i consider the election stolen…

    nm – oh yeah, she’s pretty brilliant – and articulate (perhaps more so than her hubby). Chose to be a “stay at home Mom” when he got into politics. met at harvard law school. Gotta respect that… Oh, but wait. Dems don’t know dick about family, right?

  7. i’m still trying to figure out how being a bad fighter pilot qualifies you to be president, wreck three planes, get shot down by outmoded weaponry, marry a millionaire, get legacied into the Naval Academy, flip-flop faster that you can say flip-flop but you were right about the surge? hmm, sounds like “mission accomplished” to me, and like you pointed out there Daisy the level of pandering by McCain is pathetic, do you have any original thoughts sir or do you just make doe eyes at the camera one minute and put one the serious security face the next, i don’t bother to watch the debates cuz the shite is just frustrating, i know who i’m voting for so why get angry, it’s like watching my beloved Cleveland Browns, i just can’t take it.

  8. Missed the debate entirely b/c I was up on top of Mount Palomar in a gloriously beautiful campground with ponderosa pine & redwood, my good dog, and my good friends. Sounds like I made the right choice. 🙂

  9. annie – we’ll be “sipping” on this one. because the “you’ve got to be shitting me” factor is going to be off the charts, and because it’s a school night. we all have jobs… guess not everyone in the US has to worry about that these days…

    kono – since the debate? McCain’s been even worse. Attempting to claim credit for the bailout bill… the highly unsuccessful bailout bill. there’s still a good bit of my brainspace occupied by the near certainty that they’ll steal another election, and we’ll be stuck with McBush and Princess Mooserunner for four years while we continue to auger in and become a third world nation…

    silverstar – 140 characters at a time may be the most digestible way to eat the next round! my goal is not to throw a shoe at my TV….

    empress stankaliciousness – you made a MUCH BETTER choice! up on Mt Palomar the only big wind comes from sky. good. very good.

  10. dolce – if you define “fun” as sitting by, helpless, while the people running your country make one bad damn decision after another – just like your freakin’ family… then yeah. we got all that going on…

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