No Exit

Jean Paul Sartre is fucking with me.

And if i knew where that motherfucker was buried at the moment?  i’d dig him up and feed his rotted corpse to my deranged dog.

Just too many wires crossed today… and i’m ready to crush something.  Like a beer can.  On my head. 

Nothing big.  Nothing earth shattering.  Just nuggets of annoyance that are making my brain melt.  OK.  Despite what my son has suggested, perhaps i’m not beyond the occasional PMS either.

Screwed up an on-stage set tonight.  Blaming a mangled finger only goes so far.  Truth is?  Horribly out of practice, can’t play for shit any more, and when i get de-railed with my guitar work, my vocal work sucks out loud.  literally.

Driving home?  Very distracted inside my brain – many reasons, good and bad – and took the wrong exit from the highway.  The one i’ve taken for 20 years to go home.  Um…  Oops.  As i found myself driving by my old street, and putting on the turn signal?  Realized “Dumb-fuck!  You MOVED two weeks ago.” 

Never mind.

Got home, let the dog out back for a quick ‘relief’ pee.  And noticed that he had clawed up about a 3′ square section of the rug downstairs.  No apparent reason other than a bad signal from the dog planet.

Final annoyance?  One of the eighty seven smoke detectors in my new condo has a low battery.  At first?  Hard to geolocate the right one.  Checked several – and as a result, they are all now chirping like sex-crazed electronic crickets.  I have no idea how to shut them off.  Ripping them from the ceiling seems a tad over-reactive.

So, i’ll simply turn up the TV and crawl into bed.  Sometimes?  That’s all you can do…



28 thoughts on “No Exit

  1. oh boy rough night! I don’t think I ever knew that you play guitar and sing! That’s cool! I can totally relate to those gigs where I felt like I totally sucked big donkey dork and then someone would invariably say that I never sounded better which I’m certain now is their way of kicking me in the balls if I had a set.

    And dogs ripping up carpet? Dont get me started on dogs ripping up linoleum, scratching through the plaster in a wall and skeletizing my mattress. God love the little bastards for giving them big beautiful eyes.

    Sleep well – tomorrow can ONLY be better!

  2. [Good heavens – I was hoping to escape from all this on the Interweave …… oh well.]

    Have you had a bad day honey? ……. tell me all about it …….. oh by the way, you look stunning tonight ……. is that a new dress? lovely …… and your hair smells …….. delightful ……… what’s for supper?

  3. newscoma – Welcome to The Park! love the idea of bringing the dog to the bar – but this one serves food, and isn’t going to let that happen. Saw where one person had “parked” a dog outside while having a quick beer. Maybe there’s a market for “dog lots”, or “play-care” centers for mutts… or straight jackets… (oops. did i say that outloud?)

    heartbreaktown – well, after last night, i’m not sure i’m going to claim ‘guitarist’ status any longer… but yeah, it’s a lapsed hobby, and i’m having the most fun when i’m with a band. maybe i just need to find a band, and then the pressure will be off (?). a few comments “nice voice”, but didn’t even get the “you sounded great” pablum that at least allows me the delusion that it didn’t suck out loud… Mr. P is beautiful, and was penitent when i came home. Saved his life last night. No point in hitting a ‘guilty’ dog… he knew.

    silverstar – considering the dramatic change, he’s done really well. if this is the only blip? no major crisis. he’s never done something like this before (well, once when he got trapped in a bedroom at the old place he tried to ‘tunnel’ out, but couldn’t blame him for that one). and yes, it’s mine. no landlord, or hotel manager, to breathe down my neck… (sigh)

    rob – hopeful that today won’t suck. there’s always that.

    DP – thanks. and thanks to Lo,TG for putting you out there as a loaner. nice touch. sometimes – sometimes – it would be nice to have that sort of support at the homestead. Maybe i could get it on a recording? James Earl Jones’ voice would be soothing… Hmmmm….

    kyknoord – yes, there are worse things. working with idiots? given the choice, i’ll get rid of the rug.

    alex – 6am is a bit early for that. maybe lunch.

    nm – after posting, i just ripped out the batteries. took me awhile to find out where they were stashed (odd sort of detector), but i’ve killed the e-crickets. for now. hope the dog doesn’t play with matches today while i’m at work… Oh, and back when i used to cook? the kids teased me – reminding me that the smoke detectors were NOT the oven timer. (sigh)

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  5. NOTE: Y’all are very kind not to have flagged the “Sartre” typo. Ugh. One musn’t blog under the influence of frustration…

    annie – made another pass and pulled out the batteries. may i burn in one of those levels of hell, since it’ll hit without warning until i get new batteries…

    unbearable banishment – my turn for the twilight zone music… just started reading Bukowski. nursemyra had recommended him when we were hanging in Sevilla, and i discovered that The Boy is marginally obsessed with him as well. Read “Post Office”, starting “Factotum” as soon as i get time… will track down the poem. it fits. i mean, there’s nothing on my list that can’t be cured by 30 minutes of sobbing uncontrollably in the corner of the shower while being pelted with scalding water. um… right?

  6. just the way you look at things makes me laugh my ass off… i am not sure if it is the familiarity with the whole ohio thing,, or if you are just funny as all get out!!!! would love to party with you somme day tho,, i know i would have the time of my life……

  7. “…took the wrong exit…”
    I’ve called one of our old phone numbers and then was surprised when a stranger answered the phone instead of my wife.
    Good post about a tough day. I hope today and tomorrow was/will be better.

  8. Ja. Perhaps Hobbes was write.

    And I’ve done that shoes and all. Amazing how taking you shoes off seems like such a rule (besides being practical). Some days all you can do is curl up and wait for tomorrow.

  9. paisley – thanks! i suspect we’d have lots to giggle about – you appreciate the twisted stuff! and yes, if i didn’t laugh, i’d have to play with sharp objects some times…

    Phil – Welcome to The Park! Appreciate you dropping in and sharing such a useful nugget of wisdom! The next time i feel an overwhelming need to violate the corpse of a dead philosopher, i’ll know where to look! Fortunately, the mood lightened. a little. i might still want to drop by Montparnasse and take a leak on the old boy…

    manuel – agreed. it was better yesterday – moments of raging frustration, but better. napping (or just curling up in a sleepy little ball) is highly underrated!

    don – i’ve been waiting almost 3 weeks to get my old phone transferred. had that number since 1980, and occasionally will still get a random call from old friends who are curious if i’ve still got that number. suspect i’d be doing the samne thing if i changed the landline…

    MdW – yep. Glenn Close in The Big Chill. Been there – but without shoes… will leave that in my subconscious no doubt for the next opportunity…

    nm – LOVE him! And of course i took your suggestion – haven’t you realized i’d do anything you asked me to do? 😉 PS: Will order the other recommended book once i’m dug out of the life activities that are burying me at the moment….

  10. Nursie and Daisy reading Bukowski? in my youth i read quite a bit of Buk, at last count i was over 50 + books and counting, i’ve gotten away from him a bit as i “grew up” and cried like a baby after seeing his documentary one night in downtown Pittsburgh a few years ago, i kept mumbling something about killing the father and since he was the first to really get me started on the typer i owe him a debt of gratitude, in the archives on the lounge i posted about the day he died, i think March of last year, my personal favorites, Ham on Rye, South of No North, The Most Beautiful Woman in Town, Factotum, Post Office, Women, Burning in Water Drowning in Flame, You Get So Alone That Sometimes it Just Makes Sense, War All the Time, Tales of Ordinary Madness, At Terror Street and Agony Way.

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  12. uncle keith – but who would hear it if you could remember it anyway? existence is futile…

    kono – yes, of course. and we read Buk in our finest oiled-up leather corsetry. what else? My son also saw the documentary, and found it powerful. Will have to track that down – along with more of the poetry and other writings. Something very clean about his words that i enjoy… i will get over to the Asshat lounge and look up your post over the weekend when i get a breather… thanks for drilling in on this! No apology necessary!

    DP – that’s “Loaner”. With an “L”, not and “M”…

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