In a box of long lost treasures Mom gave me last week, i discovered my old Girl Scout uniform! Since i’d been unpacking my day-to-day “stuff” in fits and spurts over the previous few days, it was fun to go through a box of things that brought me smiles* and happy memories!
Never mind the fact that i’d been sippin’ a few rum and cokes on a Friday night…
Yes, i was a Girl Scout, but a bad one. Not exactly kicked out in 5th grade, i was asked to consider quitting by the Troop Leader one evening. To this day, i have no idea what her fucking problem was…
i was sick and tired of crocheting clown dolls and making useless shit for our mothers out of toilet paper tubes. i was toughing it out to go camping – where i could terrorize the girly-girls by tossing bugs on them, burning hair in the campfire to gross them out, and hitting their tents with rocks during the night. Our troop leaders were lame, didn’t want to camp, and were avoiding it with every resource at their disposal…
During a Troop meeting, i was pissed off as we were presented with yet another stupid craft project. Walking outside the building for a smoke to clear my head, i was discovered** shortly thereafter by one of the Troop Leaders, who seemed to think it inappropriate for an 11 year old girl to take a smoke break during a scout meeting.
Whatever…
This, of course, was why it was so much fun to find the ol’ uniform! About a sheet and a half to the winds, trying it on was the most natural thing in the world… and adding some thigh-high stockings to complete the look? Well, d’uh!
i got yer “inappropriate for a girl scout” shit right here, Ms. Stephens! Ha!
Totally. Going. To. Hell.
In my entire “Imelda Marcos Memorial Shoe Collection”, i discovered i didn’t have any spiked heels that go with a Girl Scout uniform. Damn. Black thigh-high boots perhaps? There are several other photos in the “naughty girl scout” series… but none of them suitable for family (or co-worker) viewing…
But damn, that was fun! Wondering if Mom’s still got an old band uniform around anywhere?
_________
* Including stories that i wrote when i was 9 years old. One, entitled “Drugs and You” must be scanned in… holy crap, i laughed so hard i about had a heart attack…
**Ratted out, most certainly, by one of the subservient little yappy girls…
Trailer Park Refugee 
sorry, but have to go for the easy one— From my boy scout days:
On my honor I’ll do my best to help the Girl Scouts get undressed!
And, absolutely, i volunteer in this case! that is a HOT picture… did Ms. Stephens teach you that move?
make sure you scan that story in there some time… if it is funnier than this i will p*ss my pants!!!
I recommend the following:
Tuesday night: Girl Scout.
Wednesday night: Catholic schoolgirl.
Thursday night: Naughty babysitter.
Friday night: Lolita.
Saturday night: Potpourri!
@T.U.B. : Careful, else the kiddie porn police will be at your door….
My oft-used anecdote: “I was kicked out of boy scouts for eating brownies…”
So, df: who took the pic?
My dad always told me he got kicked out of Scouts for eating a Brownie. The older I get, the more I believe him.
And hell’s gonna be *such* a party…you, me, all the atheists and everyone who laughs at people who fall over.
Reminds me of a cartoon my dad (yes him again) had of two dogs on a cloud, wearing halos and wings. One says to the other “how can it be heaven if we can’t sniff each other’s bums”….egggggsACTly!
So… you have any cookies to sell?
I was going to ask if it still fit… but well you just beat me to it didnt you…
Unbearable Banishment: I suggest Librarian for Saturday night 🙂
Want to go camping?
can i nibble on the box… of cookies that is.
My goodness. So that’s where your boy gets the call of the wild gene’s from. Just hope you make him wear the Brownie outfit next time he hurtles into Canada for a pink weekend.
gnu – Mrs. Stephens was a shriveled up ol’ puss-bag who wouldn’t be able to strike such a pose if her sex life depended on it. Tried to teach us etiquette, how to wipe our asses properly (“a lady wipes from front to back”) and how to set a fucking table.
paisley – this dredged up more “scout” memories, so i’ll have to hack those up too! will drop ship a crate of Depends out your way if needed 🙂
unbearable banishment – methinks you need to get out more! you should stop by – i’m handy with toilet paper tubes!
rob – you were a naughty scout. annie needs to put you in time out! my handy Robo-pod assisted with the pic, of course. at least that’s my story and i’m stickin’ to it… 😉
dolce – almost looking forward to getting there, but there’s still much hell to be raised from right where i am! we should invite your dad out to play – does he blog?
kyknoord – why, as a matter of fact, i did get my cookies…
alex – i was
fatfluffy at that age, so i could get most of it on. couldn’t button the front, which (of course) made the front shots a bit more interesting…. and totally unfit for posting!nm – do i hear a suggestion for a Librarian Corset Friday? Didn’t you already do one of these?
uncle keith – wanna s’more?
kono – let me at least wash the moth ball smell out of the uniform…
vapour – hell yeah. never been any doubt in my mind from whence the wild child’s genetics flow… just gotta keep him alive til he’s twenty-five. i was re-directed by his dad when i was 19, and that probably saved me from much trouble… but honestly? can’t see him in a brownie uniform…
crikey…….that’s right crikey……it’s alI have…..
DF, I’m waiting for the your cheer leading uniform……… I did like the GS uniform, but they were pretty non descript …………I did like the high heals etc, though………keep up the good work…..
Cheers
manuel – and “crikey” is a perfectly good word in response to a middle-aged woman defiling her girl scout uniform!
gubment – didn’t do the cheer leader thing. was too “fluffy” to ever have a chance at that. yes, the uniform is a bit bland, but you didn’t see it from the front!
I’d prefer to defile the middle-aged girl scout.
Damn, there I go using my outside voice again…
umdalum – forty lashes for you with a wet girl scout sash… bad, bad umdalum…
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