Due primarily to a lack of news, i haven’t written much about The Park lately. This is just the quiet before the storm. The Clampett’s shall ride again…
Mom’s bypass surgery is scheduled in three weeks. In the meantime, she has exceeded all expectations in her quest to quit the demon tobacco! i’m very proud of her, and although she hasn’t completely quit, she’s only smoking about 5 cigarettes a day. Given that she has been chain-smoking for 65 years, this is remarkable*!
i’m even more proud of her for finally standing up to her quack family physician, Dr. Bonehead**. In the past, this man has misdiagnosed many a malady. Among other things, he prescribed arthritis medication for “leg trouble” which was due to circulation problems, and an early indicator of heart failure. His office staff is equally incompetent, and excel at finding ways to charge Mom for unnecessary procedures. A recent example: Because they used the wrong code for lab tests, which the insurance company then refused to pay, Mom was forced to drop an unexpected $200 on lab work.
Mom was scheduled for an annual check up with Dr. Bonehead, and decided to proceed despite upcoming pre-surgical testing orchestrated by her heart surgeon, Robo-Doc. Upon arrival at Comedy Central Dr. Bonehead’s office, Mom was informed that he would have to order the pre-surgical testing. When Mom explained that Robo-Doc had already taken care of it, the nurse-like-object informed her that Dr. Bonehead would simply not “approve”, and would thus prevent Mom from having her double bypass. Her rationale? If something went wrong with the bypass surgery, Mom could sue the doctor if he hadn’t done the pre-surgical physical.
And apparently she said this with a straight face.
i wasn’t there, but know pretty much what happened next. Mom popped a gonad. She’s pretty feisty under normal conditions, but given the fact that she’s been off her smokes for a couple weeks, i’m guessing there were some pyrotechnics as Mom handed the nurse-like-object her officious ass on a phlebotomy tray!
Dr. Bonehead, hearing the ruckus from the hallway, entered the room. In an attempt to calm her down, the Doc agreed to call Robo-Doc’s office and coordinate the necessary tests. After a bit of back and forth last week, Robo-Doc conceded to let Dr. Bonehead handle the pre-surgical work. Much to Mom’s annoyance.
As a result, Mom is now finally pissed off enough to switch to a different general practitioner – but will wait until after the surgery. In the meantime, i’m amusing myself by drafting the reproachful letters she’s going to hand to Dr. Bonehead and company once the tough stuff is behind her…
It’s just a shame she didn’t whack him with her cane. Don’t you earn that right sometime after you turn 75?
* She generally lights one cigarette from another. When bored, i’ve considered doing a study to determine what percentage of her waking breaths are smoke-free. Guess? Less than 20%…
** Not his real name.