I am not a white knuckle flier – in fact, i enjoy it! Whether it’s in a small plane, buzzing corn mazes in the autumn or in a jet-powered thermos tube traveling at ridiculous speeds from 6 miles up, i always have a “Hey, wow! I’m flying!” moment along the way.
Not being a pilot (yet), i don’t know intricacies of modern flight, but i know enough not to worry. Whether it’s my awareness of non-destructive evaluation, flight-line maintenance, “design for redundancy” or a basic understanding of air traffic control procedures, i am generally not nervous on an airplane. It’s a chance to read, listen to tunes and nap while defying gravity.
Logically, i know statistically that my chances of dying in a plane crash are much lower than dying in the car on the way to the airport.
Despite this knowledge, i have one pre-flight ritual that i simply can’t shake. i’ve been doing this for over a decade. Whenever i’m headed to an airport i make sure that my bra and panties match exactly. Not just ‘blue and blue’, or ‘leather and leather’ but the exact make, model and color from the manufacturer.
If my parts need reassembly after an air disaster, it might be helpful if Top A matches Bottom B…
And with that, i’m off on another business trip… Surf’s up!
In case of disaster, I just make sure my boxers are a nice shade of brown.
if I’m wearing both at the same time then they always match. most days I’m just wearing the top half 🙂
Oh god. You people who have matching sets make the rest of us feel like we’ve failed in some spectacular, post-feminist, uber-woman, sex-goddess way. I’m just happy with a colour match, dammit.
I blush reading your post but I try to wear the most messed up drawers I own as a primitive method of inoculation against disaster.
kyknoord – i suppose that brings to mind a different form of “air disaster”.
nm – i’m sure rescuers would have no trouble with your identification – they probably have “nursemyra” posters in the firehouses of the world!
dolceii – welcome to The Park! i didn’t mention the fact that sometimes it take me a looooong time to locate such parts. i made a vow when i got a ‘real’ job all those years ago, that i’d never be mismatched again. reality got in the way…
wq – Welcome as well! Also a novel strategy – it’s a little comforting that i’m not the only one with a strange underwear-related pre-flight ritual!
what an interesting underwear drawer you must have. i’m sure you look lovely in your matched set, but it’s so much more fun to envision you wearing your “every days”. 🙂 heh-heh-heh
I always pick out a woman to grab, just in case the plane starts to go down. If we are going to crash, I want something to take my mind off of my impending doom. I just hope it doesn’t take the plane longer than 50 seconds to crash, or I’ll be left with more time to kill!
50 seconds? I see you’ve been working out!
If it lasts much less than 50 seconds, I’ll actually be looking forward to the plane crashing to eliminate the shame and embarrassment.
toby – How, um, enlightening…(note to self: no more underwear references in my posts…)
uncle keith – count the rows/seats to your target. in case of power outage there may not be sufficient lighting to find her as the plane plummets…
umdalum – what? he used to be quicker? and you know this because…?
uncle keith – 50 seconds should be humiliating enough, i should think…
too late, Pandora…
at least i don’t have sex with picnic tables, like some Ohioans
Take-offs are the worst part and the smaller the aircraft the less I like it. Once up, well, you know you will come down one way or another and it’s too late to worry about how.
toby – that’s creepy, the furniture fucker, that is…
annie – Welcome to The Park! i used to get little freaked on the regional jets and turboprops, then i started flying in a private plane with a friend. for some reason, it doesn’t jack me up the way it used to!