How evolved are you?

Aggravating.  Very, very aggravating…

1. While sitting, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw number ‘6’ in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change directions.

3. Shake your head, decide that you’ll do better if you’re really concentrating, and attempt it again.

4. Swear.  Curse your dinosaur brain and the fact that we are much less evolved than we believe ourselves to be…

hsimpsonbrain.jpg

 

While we’re on the topic of evolution…

If you really want to have fun with a newborn infant — short of annoying the parents by playing a game of “catch the baby” — try this:  Take your finger and place it gently at the base of the little newborn toes.  Watch as the reflex to grip your fingers kicks in.  Isn’t this beautiful?  It’s that “hanging in a tree” response – salvation for our tree-dwelling  ancestors… 

Typically, this response remains for a couple months post-uterus… This reflex, and the Moro Reflex, hint at our primate ancestry – if you consider the behavior of a baby monkey flailing and grasping to hang onto parental backhair, it seems pretty strong evidence supporting that pesky “theory” of evolution.

If you prefer to ignore science, you can always consider a visit to the Creation Museum – a mere stones throw from The Park.  Here you can learn about dinosaurs dwelling in the Garden of Eden just a few thousand years ago.  Seriously.  The universe was created in 6 days, and these folks can prove it…

(it’s no wonder he was “elected” twice…)

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18 thoughts on “How evolved are you?

  1. I loved playing the toe-grip game with my kids when they were wee. That, and belly farts.

    A few thousand years of civilization is merely a second or two on the evolutionary clock. The fact that most people are still so easily fooled by charlatans and crooks as to become their willing slaves is a pretty good indication of how little we have evolved. Or perhaps it points to how much we have devolved.

    If you enjoy Scalzi’s visit, read about Ian Murphy’s Trip to the Creation Museum. hee hee!

    While you’re visiting The Beast, be sure to also read The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2007. Superb!

  2. Imeantno – Aw, shucks… i loves you too. Even when you’re impaired. especially when you’re impaired. Um… i’ll drive…

    kyknoord – Keep talking that way and i’m not responsible for my actions… The Scalzi pics are as close as i’ll ever get to the inside of that museum…

    toby – i could only play that game with my own children. smart people don’t let me near their babies… i’m a known experimentalist. would have been fun to be a fly on the wall during the grand opening.

    nm – Keep talking that way and i’m not responsible for Uncle Keith’s actions…

  3. az – Brilliant! Any drummers out there? Potential fly in the ‘overcoming evolution’ ointment? Don’t you need some critical mass of brain cells for something like this? Aren’t most drummers the biggest stoners in any musical outfit?

  4. hey, wait a minute. are you serious about that right foot, right hand thing? I just tried it and had no problem maintaining the clockwise rotation of my foot.

    and don’t ask me why i waited until now to try it, because I don’t have an answer. no, I haven’t been drinking! 🙂

  5. toby – maybe there’s a gig on “letterman” with that! very frustrating to the rest of us, that’s for sure…

    nm – my fav drummer “story” is from Spinal Tap. The band keeps going through drummers, each one dying of something more bizarre than the last…

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