And the award for “Best Mother…”

…will not be making an appearance in my trophy case.

The Girl and i are pretty comfortable getting on the phone and yakking a couple times a week.  She’ll also send me text messages at 5am, asking for a 9 am wake up call. 

The Boy and i, however, communicate frequently by text message.  He says he just doesn’t like talking to people, and prefers the cold, impersonal nature of text messaging.

So i adapt…

daisyfae:  i deposited more cash into your rent account

The Boy: thanks but there was enough there to cover the month

daisyfae: ok.  go buy yourself a hooker i guess…

The Boy: said and done

daisyfae: that was quick.  you keeping one in the closet, or did the widow lady downstairs get entrepreneurial?

The Boy: the one in the closet died.  who knew they need food?

daisyfae:  Truce!  i quit!  you win – i’m sending you off to live with upset waitress*

The Boy: do waitresses need food?

daisyfae: i think they can get by on scraps from the kitchen floor

The Boy: then that might work, as long as she likes four day old pizza crusts

daisyfae:  don’t you have homework or something? 

The Boy: no, class was cancelled so i’ll study when i feel like it.  damn, woman, get off my back.

daisyfae: don’t get smart with me, nimrod.  i can take that money back outta the account…

The Boy: if you do i’ll start using crystal meth.  yeah.  that’s what i’ll do…

daisyfae:  fine.  cheaper than your fucking tuition.

The Boy: touche.  you win this round.


* The Boy thinks the upset waitress is brilliant, and is quite smitten with her…

12 thoughts on “And the award for “Best Mother…”

  1. bc – worse yet? i was texting him from a meeting… trying to keep from laughing…

    imeantno – yeah. i know. but at least he’s funny! i’d have drowned him as a pup if he didn’t make me laugh…

    uw – will do. and i’m thinking i can reuse the ‘kitten box’ after dinner arrives. i’ll punch a few more holes in it and ship The Boy your way…

  2. Lovely to see you reaping what you’ve sown in such a wonderfully humourous manner.

    I guess knowing he’d have been drowned as a pup if he wasn’t funny with it somewhat keeps him on his toes …

  3. Why, he’s just a chip off the old block, daisyfae.

    ‘Cept, ah’m a-thinkn’ thet boy mought larn more bein’ sent off ta live with kyknoord…

    Whut th’ hail do ah know?

  4. archie – yes, especially if i feel compelled to put him in a box and ship him out!

    az – clever little things, arent they? infants start to get cute right around the time we consider dropping them off for a short visit in an airport dumpster…

    toby – sending him to the kyknoord “school of international mystery men” isn’t a bad thought. i suspect if he wanders into the southern hemisphere, however, he’d rather hang out at with nursemyra…

  5. sweetlife – welcome to The Park! glad you stumbled in – pretty tough to do from a sitting position, but sometimes things just work out that way! do you have a blog?

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