i’m now the Tech Advisor for an exploratory device* research group. Having just left an extraordinarily dysfunctional collection of researchtards, i was under no delusions that things would be perfectly peachy in my new job. Quite the contrary, i knew there were challenges, and that was one of the reasons i wanted this job.
After our first group meeting this week, the degree of “broken scientific humanity” within my new team is becoming apparent. As we made fun of discussed the unique attributes of each member of the technical staff, i commented on how delighted i was with the energy of one particular researcher, AB – an attractive, middle-aged man of Eastern European origins – who’d given me an impassioned summary of his work and impressed me with his fundamental technical knowledge.
JA rolled his eyes, then explained the back story… regarding his hiring. Seems a prior Director met AB at a conference, and offered him a position on the spot…
daisyfae: What? The Director can do that?
JA: He’s on a “Hispanic Preference” position…
daisyfae: But AB is a fucking Romanian…
JA: Yeah, but the Director thought he was Hispanic…
daisyfae: You’ve got to be shitting me? Brown with an accent is brown with an accent? Holy shit…
He then went on to let me know much, much more about AB. Things i really didn’t want to know… “Be sure to ask about AB’s mother. She’s in a coma. He keeps her in his basement..”.
daisyfae: So… i’m thinking i don’t wanna fuck him…
JA: Well… It’d be loud, if nothing else….
Welcome to the Geek Freak Show!
* i said “device”…. not “toys”… you bunch of pervs….
Tags: business, crazy science people for $200, freaks, geeks, know your colleagues, life, psychopaths in the workplace, technology, TM-fucking-I
July 10, 2009 at 6:48 pm |
Ah the joys of working with groups.
Dam I’m glad I work for myself. That way I know exactly the depth of retartedness I spend each day with.
Best of luck Daisyfae.
TAG
July 10, 2009 at 7:02 pm |
Добрый день!
July 10, 2009 at 8:12 pm |
Coma mom likes to watch.
July 11, 2009 at 4:45 am |
renalfailure you crack me up big time
July 10, 2009 at 8:53 pm |
That sounds an awful lot like high school. Perhaps that first go-around as a teen provided you with some useful survival skills you can use today.
July 10, 2009 at 9:57 pm |
TAG – it’s an entirely new crew of dysfunctionals. that, in itself, is refreshing…
BLT – Почему цыпленок пересечь дороги?
renalfailure – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! seriously, dude… get help… Basement Coma Mom? AAAAAAARGH?!?!?
unbearable banishment – between skills learned in high school, and those i learned coaching little boys soccer, i’m ready for damn near anything…
July 10, 2009 at 10:42 pm |
I’m speechless. Do you live in an alternate reality? Or better yet. Do I?
Hmmmm.
July 10, 2009 at 10:43 pm |
PS: How did you know what BLT was saying? I’se jus’ wonderin’.
July 11, 2009 at 7:52 am |
Daisyfae is wicked smart as well. The chicken was looking for some food.
July 11, 2009 at 1:30 pm
thanks, blt… i have moments… and rob, i think i knew that the blt can manage a bit of russian.
but no, he crossed the road to prove to the possum that it could be done!
July 11, 2009 at 1:25 am |
Meh, just don’t fuck him in the basement.
July 11, 2009 at 2:09 am |
You have a strange life, my dear. And even stranger co-workers. Good luck with all that.
July 11, 2009 at 2:11 am |
What a superb supply of blogging material all in one room. Can I borrow one of your geeks for a laugh when the rain is on and we cannae work?
July 11, 2009 at 2:43 am |
A brilliant new cast of characters to keep us entertained, but are THEY ready for Daisyfae … ?
July 11, 2009 at 7:36 am |
oH, and device is better? Eish!
July 11, 2009 at 11:33 am |
russian….very nice–you could have at least gone with the whole romanian/hispanic thing…
you will get feed up before you get bored at this new job. enjoy the new geeks..
July 11, 2009 at 1:28 pm |
rob – the world of scientific research is a bit cloistered… individuals who devote their lives to understanding oddities of physics, and those who wish to master nature? generally got some serious fucked-upedness in the head regime…
fragrant liar – he’s a cutie! apparently also has a tendency to blow through money like a drunken sailor, and has numerous ‘reckless operation’ tickets for getting busted at over 100 mph… it’s the coma-mom thing that puts me off a bit, though… other than that?
silverstar – i’m blessed… seriously… it’s never dull in my world… maybe i’m flypaper for psychos? or i am drawn to them?
jimmy – i’d be happy to ship a few to Scotland for your entertainment. slow boat, crates with air holes… let me know how bad they smell when you uncrate them!
tNb – so far, they are simply delighted that i’m there! refreshing… they know they are wandering the scientific desert, and my job is to provide a bit of vector and get them moving in a healthy direction… but yeah. blogging material for the future awaits…
dolce – ‘devices’, ‘toys’… it’s about the same. at least it’s not the “experimental implements” group. that’d be nursemyra territory!
hisqueen – fed up before i’m bored? absolutely! and the plan is to scooterboard out of this place in about 3-4 years… can’t go as crazy if i don’t stick around so long!
July 20, 2009 at 3:53 pm |
[...] That’s not to say that my new freak squad colleagues aren’t going to be able to get on my tits…. [...]