Con-text

While mucking about at home in a post-surgical narcotic-induced fuzzy place, i received a text from The Boy.  This exchange confirms, yet again, why i shall not win any Mother of the Year Awards…

The Boy:  I got a B on the paper i just turned in!

daisyfae: Cool!  i got darvocet for post-surgical pain!

The Boy: Those aren’t really that good.  You should try to get percocet.

daisyfae:  Darvocet works for me.  Guess i haven’t developed immunity…

The Boy: I have no immunity, but for actual pain they just don’t do it for me.

daisyfae: Well, i ain’t sharing anyway!

The Boy:  I would say you need it, but there’s no need to be selfish, now…

daisyfae: Suck it up and take a tylenol!*

The Boy:  I was just fucking around.  Glad you are blissfully doped up and that you are ok.  too bad, though, i had big plans for that money.

daisyfae: What’s retail?

The Boy:  if you aren’t opposed to selling to minors, you might get 3.50 each, but 2.00 is more likely

The Boy:  not that i would know.

daisyfae: just assessing market conditions.  economic downturn and all that…

The Boy: That’s true.  Those were prices from 3 years ago.  I don’t know current valuation.

daisyfae: Keep an ear to the ground.

The Boy:  i’ll put word out.

________________

* “Suck it up and take a Tylenol” was a frequently occuring “Mom-ism” in our household.  Especially when the kids were dealing with orthodontic pain.  Needless to say, after having my braces installed a few years ago, i made the mistake of complaining about the discomfort in front of the kids.  In stereo:  “Suck it up and take a Tylenol”, shouted with evil glee…

18 thoughts on “Con-text

  1. Well, there’s no use just flushing them down the toilet when you’re done with them. Might as well get something out of them. Poisons the fish, anyway.

    As for the street value of the oxycodone, Rob, it depends on the form. Oxycontin, or hillbilly heroin, is worth more than the plain stuff. Not that I would know.

    My mother used to wish I would have children just like myself. I fooled her. But sometimes we get what we deserve. It comes back to bite us in the butt. Love the stereo “Suck it up and take a Tylenol.”

  2. while you were talking about drugs with your son I was having a conversation about anal sex with mine….. (not the straight one of course)

    no “Mother of the Year” nomination for me either :-)

  3. The Boy is quite the entrepreneur, what with this post and quite a few prior ones (like the one where he was pimping his co-worker out)… i’m seeing a Business School Scholarship in his future… if you can just figure out how to write up the nomination…

  4. manuel – i’m happy for his “B”… he was sweating that one a little bit! doing fine now. not like i’m trying to quit smoking over the holidays or anything difficult!

    rob – the oxycodone is worth more, i think… they don’t throw that stuff around much here in the states because of the street value.

    beth – “husbeast”? *snort*… feeling way mo betta… minor stuff…

    silverstar – my kids keep me honest, correct my mistakes, and are certain to highlight any logic flaws or inconsistencies that i may reveal. the little bastards…

    nm – still think we need to fix up your straight son with my daughter so we can be goofy grannies! not sure my son is going to put up with any attempts to fix him up with your other son, however… :-)

    gnukid – “entrepreneur” is a nice way to put it! i always thought he’d be a great courtroom attorney, as he has the ability to twist your words backwards, sideways and inside out until you want to whack him with a frying pan….

  5. uncle keith – you assume something here…. um….. never mind….

    tNb – there’s a fine line between “entrepreneur” and “mobster”… keeps me on my toes!

  6. he’s right perocet’s are better, the street value these days is a $1 per mg, so a you know a 5mg perc is five bucks, if you have insurance you can make alot of dough, i know elderly folks in the neighborhood who unload their pain pills to supplement their income, get a scrip of 40 20mg oxycontin and you do the math, America isn’t it great.

  7. Sometimes, I wish you were my mother. But then, I remember, that would mean I hate you, and I don’t hate you. I like you, I really, really like you.

  8. kono – thanks for the data! might be able to help Mom pay some of her medical bills… they give seniors so much freakin’ medicine, then change it up. she’s got bottles of all kinds of crap that she can’t do anything with – i suggested a “trade” session at the church among all the seniors… hmmm… maybe just a “drug sale”…

    awalkabout – sneaky truth? i really don’t like to take pain killers… there’s just comfort knowing they’re in the medicine chest if i ever break my leg or something!

    alex – absolutely right! while there are moments when i’m not sure i want to know everything my kids tell me? more often than not, i’m thrilled that they trust me enough to talk to me…

    Stank-a-loo – i’m only 10 years older. theoretically possible, but not quite… i suppose i could adopt you, but then you’d get pissed off, write an expose book, and make my life a living hell. damn you. why did i ever take you in?

    cat – didn’t really need them much… i’m feeling great 5 days out, no complications (other than that “on the bench” thing… 9 days left, but i’m not counting… oh, no… not me!)

    dolce – totally kidding about selling the drugs. really. just kidding. would never do that… (for all the cops reading this, i am a good girl. really.)

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